


The dissaster

by MelNipper99



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 63,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelNipper99/pseuds/MelNipper99
Summary: SummaryAs Rhysand returns from Under the Mountain, he is not alone. He has taken a wounded, unconscious "young" woman with him. As the Inner circle barge in Cassian seems to recognise her. But who is she and how does Cassian know her. The was with Hybern is imminent, and they will need to take action for Prythian to have any chance of survival. Can this woman fight, or is she too broken to do so?Her past is a mystery to most of the Inner Circle, yet somehow Rhysand and Cassian seem to trust her. What happened to her and where did she hail from are questions circling around their heads. Briar is a half-breed, she never belonged to a court or kingdom. She fought for the freedom of the human slaves 500 years ago but did not gain any herself. Can she find her place and freedom this time around in the night court?
Relationships: Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Feyre Archeron/Rhysand
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.   
Darkness was all I saw, I felt as if I was floating in nothingness. Was this death I often wondered, but then I would feel pain or hear voices softly speaking muddled by whatever the darkness is. I do not know how long I spent in the dark, but it felt like an eternity. At some point, I was able to twitch a finger, and as I did, so I heard a muffled gasp coming from whoever was next to me. After that, I began regaining control little by little, I was even able to squeeze the hand holding mine. By the end of what I am guessing was a week of recovering bit by bit, the darkness surrounding my mind started to fade. "When will she wake up," a male voice asked, "Probably in a day or two at most, her mind seems ready and the trauma done to her body has healed almost completely" a female voice. I try to reach our my hand or at least move something in confirmation wanting to wake up. When I tried to focus on my surroundings I didn't hear any screams of pain, nor did I feel the cold hard stone of what used to be the cells rather I laid on a soft cot or bed.   
"She is moving again" Another female voice called out. "Come-on Bri wake-up, come back" the first voice almost pleaded. The haziness in my mind faded more as I focussed all of my energy on trying to open my eyes, nor feeling any pain only slight discomfort. My eyelids fluttered open, but I had to close them again immediately against the brightness. "Too bright" I groaned out, feeling the scratchiness because of not using it for so long. "Shit" someone cursed and moved to dim them. "It's okay you can open them again," a male voice said again, it seemed somewhat familiar. I felt fear enter my body, what if I entered a different cell or what if this was just another illusion made by the twins. I debated with myself, but in the end, curiosity won, and I opened my eyes.   
I looked around the room, even in the dimmed fae lights. I could see that I was in a large bed with a large dresser and door on the opposite wall. The colours seemed dark but comforting like those of a cloudless night. I noted a door on the left and a balcony on the right side of the room. "Bri" A voice boomed as the door opened. I jumped up, almost falling out of the bed, as I scrambled to get away and make myself as small as possible. "Bri, please look at me," the man with the booming voice asked more softly this time. I looked up and met the familiar hazel eyes, the rugged, long brown hair and the black bat-like wings of the Illyrian. "Cass" I whispered, loosening my grip on my knees, unable to move or comprehend seeing my old friend again.   
"Briar, you're safe here," the first voice said, I looked up to meet the violet eyes of the High Lord of Night, Rhysand. I winced slightly, remembering the past 50 years. Cassian sat on the edge of the bed, worry visible on his face. No doubt he saw my wince at Rhysands voice. "She did it, didn't she," I asked him, Rhysand nodded looking downward almost sadly. I loosened a breath, relaxing a bit more knowing Amarantha was no more. "We should let you rest up before dinner, I am sure the others will want to meet you now that you are awake," Rhysand said. I nodded but did not dare to relax completely while the two of them were in the room. Cassian was still looking at me intensely, slight worry visible in his face as he noted my rigidness. Reluctantly he got up from the bed, and the two males began to walk out of the room. "Wait," I said, "How long was I out for?" "It has been almost two and a half months since the last trial" Rhysand answered. "Two and a half months, I have been out for so long" the time passed almost terrified me, never had I been out for that long in the past 500 years. I heard the door close and laid back down, feeling how exhausted I still felt even after being unconscious for so long. I should be more apprehensive on being alone in a strange place, not knowing whether or not they were going to hurt me. I hadn't seen Cassian in almost 500 years or was it more than that, I honestly can't remember. My mind was barely able to comprehend what just happened, let alone be afraid of this place. Exhaustion won over the need to be cautious, and my mind slipped in a dreamless sleep for the first time in years, I was in a warm and soft bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
A couple of hours later, I was awoken by two shadow wraiths, twin girls by the looks of them. They had drawn me a bath and were laying our clothes for me to change into. I stayed under the covers as they moved around the room, too scared to move. Yes, I had seen both of them under the mountain though only a hand full of times and, they were barely more than shadows at the time. They looked at me almost expectantly, wanting me to move to the bathroom, which happened to be en-suite through the door opposite my bed. I ducked under the covers as they moved closer, fear almost paralysing me. I heard one of them sigh, "Nuala". "We will come and get you in thirty minutes for dinner," the other said, leaving through the wall, as I peeked from under the covers. I felt like a child for acting this way. I slowly got up testing my legs, I felt a bit wobbly like a baby deer or giraffe walking for the first time. Then again, this was my first time walking after so many months in bed and years spent in a cell with only a few square meters of space.   
The bathroom was a space well suited for the winged fae, though I did not have them myself I respected and liked the spacious tub. I almost moaned when I slipped in the bath, the water just the right temperature for me. I began scrubbing off the grime that had accumulated and lathering up my hair with soaps until I felt cleaned of the dirt. I didn't stop there, though, I scrubbed my skin raw. I still felt their touches and feared that I would always feel them. Before I could spiral into my thoughts, I remembered that dinner was in thirty minutes or not in ten minutes. I got out of the tub, shivering at the loss of warmth. I dared a look in the mirror, my skin usually tanned from spending time outside was not pale almost sickly so. As Amarantha liked my hair long, it now fell to my waist in long brown tresses which I pulled in a high ponytail after combing it through. I didn't dare to look at my eyes, knowing that they must have lost their spark, nor at the scars that must litter almost every inch of skin.   
As I looked at the outfit laid out by the twins, I saw that they kept the scars in mind. Dark blue high wasted pants in the night court style, I tucked in the matching long-sleeved top. As I did so, a knock sounded at the door. Suddenly the nerves and fears started to catch up with me, as I walked to the door to see one of the twins. "Cerridwen" I guessed, she nodded and motioned for me to follow her. I hesitated for a moment as she started walking down the hall, somewhat scared to leave the room. My mouth began to run dry, and my heart rate raised ever so slightly. Cerridwen turned around as she noticed that I wasn't following and motioned again smiling invitingly. I followed step for step, slowly but surely we walked through the halls and arrived at the dining rooms door where I once again hesitated as the wraith walked in. I opened the door slowly trying to control my fears, I almost hid behind the door peaking into the room. The room was large yet cosy, just like nearly everything in the house it was built to accommodate wings. There were a few people in the room Cassian was lounging on a couch along with a beautiful woman laughing, Rhysand was observing them from a comfy chair. Then there were two others who I had yet to meet, a short fae in grey who emitted a specific ancient power, and another Illyrian wrapped in shadows.   
The door creaked, and I froze, as all eyes turned to me. Fear began to envelop my mind, my heart rate higher and nausea hit me like a bus. I wanted to shrink or stumble away but I couldn't, I was frozen. "Bri" Cassian moved towards me, keeping his voice lower trying to keep me from bolting. I flinched away as he stood before me, "shh, it's safe, they are safe" he tried shushing me. I snapped out of my frozen stated and looked at him, Cassian reached out his hand to invite me in. As I took it and walked into the room, I tried to hide a bit behind him as he led me to the others near the couch.   
"You're so pretty" the beautiful woman squealed reaching to hug me, but I darted behind Cassian. "Sorry," I whispered as I saw her sad look. "Briar meet my cousin Morrigan," Rhysand said motioning to the beautiful woman in front of me. He then motioned to the other female in the room "This here is Amren, do not let her near you jewellery or she might take it". She was observing me with her head cocked to the side, measuring my strengths as her silver eyes swirled. "And lastly, my brothers, our spymaster Azriel and your know Cassian my general and commander," Rhysand said motioning to the Illyrians. Azriel was very handsome, just like Cassian in a way all Illyrians are but he had a smoothness to him. He wasn't as rugged and wild. Instead, he had shorter hair neatly styled, hazel eyes and a strong jaw, with shadows swirling around him whispering in his ear. They seemed to grow thicker, covering more of him as I looked.   
"Can we eat I am starving" Cassians voice boomed, making me flinch by the loud sound. They all moved towards the dining table set with six sets, all of them taking up spots with ease. But I stood nailed to the ground watching them. Morrigan spotted me still standing near the couch and smiled invitingly as the called to me, "come sit next to me, it has been a while since a new female joined us". I nodded and moved apprehensively to the spot in between her and Cassian. Rhysand waved his hand, and the food appeared, I only now noticed how hungry I was. Cassian whooped with a big smiled on his face as he and Morrigan went to fill their plates. I stared down at my clenched hands wanting to do the same but fear stopping me from doing so. I felt a nudge to the adamant wall in my mind, looking up at Rhysand to see that he has filled his plate nodding to encourage me. I put some green beans and chicken on my plate along with some mashed potatoes, all of which smelled heavenly. I couldn't remember the last time I had such a meal.   
Small chatter began around the table as we started eating, though I remained quiet enjoying the food savouring every bite. Cassian and Morrigan were throwing jokes back and forth laughing, while Rhysand was content with laughing along throwing in the occasional comment. But I could tell they weren't as loud as usual. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me" I piped up. Saying more than I had in months maybe even years. They looked at me faking confusion, "come on, I may have been in a cell for longer than I wish on anyone, but I am not dim-witted" I said again. And Cassian led out a loud laugh "that is the Bri I now" "How do you guys know each other" said a dark yet low and smooth voice. I looked up to meet the hazel eyes belonging to Azriel. "I want to know that too, " Morrigan said, looking somewhat hopeful.   
"We met on a battlefield at the beginning of the war" I simply said, closing my eyes hoping that would be enough. Fighting to keep the memories of those seven years at bay, as once again that night, my heart rate sped up slightly. Cassian put his arm around the back of my chair, "She is a menace on the battlefield, you should have seen her in any of the fights" He said boosting about the abilities he had witnessed. It remained quiet for a minute as I pried my eyes open to see everyone but Cassian and Rhysand staring at me. I felt like a weakling, flinching away from any touch, feeling terrified though being at a safe place.   
"I am not the same as then Cass," I said to him, "A lot has happened since the last time you saw me". My voice broke half-way through the sentence as I struggled with the memories threatening to surface. I couldn’t bear to see them looking at me anymore, the walls were closing in, and I had to getaway. ‘’I’m sorry, I - I h-have to g-go’’ I forced our slipping out of my seat and all but dashing to the doors. I excused myself again, looking back into the room to see Cassian smiling sadly, Morrigan looked at me with mostly confusion and something I could not read. Amrens expression as well was unreadable, Rhysand just nodded understandingly. Lastly, Azriel his face looked as if it was hewn from granite, yet the shadows were swirling in distress.   
I closed the door and leaned against it, catching my breath. ‘’She helped me look for you guys between the dead on those fields, on the lists’’ Cassian said softly almost broken ‘’she saved me multiple times, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her in those critical battles nor would you Rhys she helped on getting you out.’’ It went quiet after that, it took what seemed like forever for a muffled conversation started again. I decided eavesdropping would do me no good and went back to my room, only to fall in a restless sleep remember that first battlefield I met Cassian on.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 *flashback*   
A/N This is a flashback chapter, most of these will have Original Characters in them as we do not know a lot of people from the past. Also, let me know whether or not you guys want a different POV I was thinking about doing Azriel or even adding Cassian at times. This will also have some cursing in it.  
‘’Briar, come on, wake up’’ A voice yelled in my ear, crudely waking me from my slumber. ‘’Shut it, Blake’’ I groaned out getting up, ‘’We don’t have time for this today, they are upon us’’ Blake said rushing back out of our shared war tent. ‘’Shit’’ I shot up of the cot and began putting on my ‘’armour’’ if you can call it that. It consisted of mostly leather clothes reinforced with some metal pieces, I had a small breastplate and some shoulder, wrist and knee padding. Our armour is made to optimise flexibility even though we used metal parts, they were minimal and worked into the leather. I braided back my shoulder-length hair in a warrior braid though to me by a Vallahan warrior. I ran outside the minute I was done taking along my bow, bow staff en twins words, my daggers already hidden within the armour.   
‘’Commodore Asteria, you are expected at the regional commander's tent’’ someone yelled as I ran out. I nodded my thanks running through camp towards the meeting which was going on as I barged in. ‘’Briar good of you to join us’’ our regional commander Loyens said. I nodded, taking my place at the table with the map. ‘’Did the reinforcements arrive?’’ asked Commodore grants of the peregrine. ‘’Not yet, I expect the night court later this morning’’ Loyens answered. All of us sighed knowing that we desperately needed them, we were up against one of Hyberns worsts generals and, has the aid of Amarantha and Clythia’s numbers. ‘’Are we changing anything on our formation or location of the troops’’ I asked. Loyens shook his head and pointed out, ‘’Spread your forces amongst these troops the most, they have the least experiences and weary of our forces.’’ The other commodores and two commanders nodded at me. Knowing I couldn’t do anything about it I said ‘’Then I say let's get this show on the road, Blake warned me before I came here that they are upon us.’’ ‘’May we see another sunrise, fight hard’’ Loyens said ending the meeting sending us to our troops and the frontlines.   
‘’Blake, Liam’’ I yelled walking up to them, ‘’Normal places I assume’’ Blake answered. I nodded, ‘’Inform the other captains and spread out to the frontlines I will take the middle’’. They nodded and saluted me, we had stopped saying good luck a few weeks ago when we realised this war is going to take a lot of time. Not just Xian had joined Hybern and the Black lands, but Rask and Montesere as well. Only Valahan was still on our side, releasing its human slaves and fighting against the loyalists. We do not want to lose hope, but luck was not on our side we just have to keep fighting for what we believe thus we do not wish luck yet we act confidently in our companion's abilities. I nodded to the four lesser faes of my own force to follow me directly to the front. The tensions were almost palpable in the air, we had seen the fires yesterday, now in the rising sun the vastness of the army before us. Number wise we were slightly outnumbered yet I knew what we lacked in numbers we made up for in skill.   
By the time we made it to the front, most of our army was assembled. All-clad in their own colours of the courts and kingdoms they served. All but us the unclaimed we dressed in the colours we preferred, in my cause black, dark blue and yellow accents a walking storm. The first bombardments of magic started, as soon as we took up our positions. Only the general and his commanders participated in this part, luckily cause I knew me and the others needed our magic for the oncoming battle. ‘’Archers ready your bows’’ I bellowed and heard the command being echoed by the other commanding officers. I had two arrows in my bow aimed to kill the moment our barriers fell, which when they did the bloodbath truly began.  
I had not stopped moving since our barrier came down, fighting with my twin swords after my arrows ran out. Which had happened hours ago, my magic also being dangerously low I had enough for one last mass attack. I heard something in the distance, the sound of a Warband, but I did not dare look back, I had to keep fighting standing still was a death sentence. It seemed a long time, but then the first winged fae started dropping from the sky fighting alongside us, or staying up in the air next to the peregrines. They wore all black so they must be the Night courts reinforcements, the bastards got here towards the end of the battle. One Illyrian with long hair landed near me, and I had to block a blow from a black sands soldier.  
‘’Thanks’’ he called, ‘’No problem, can you cover me for a minute, I have enough energy left for one last mass magic attack’’ I yelled back cutting down another soldier and flipping to throw two daggers towards two others. ‘’Sure’’ He yelled, ‘’But be quick about it’’. I didn’t reply but began creating an electrical storm in between my hands. Concentrating the energy more and more, using the winds to fly me up above the soldiers on land. Before releasing it electrocuting both loyalist soldiers on land and in the air. Before falling towards the ground, having exhausted all the magic I could produce without burning out. ‘’Whoa,’’ the same male said catching me before I could splat. ‘’Thanks,’’ I smiled and rolled out of his arms to throw a dagger behind him.   
As the battle came to an end an hour or so later, I was still back to back with the Illyrian who bought me time. When the loyalists began retreating, I took a moment to sink to the ground, not caring for all the blood and gore I was getting on me. Not that I was clean, to begin with, but still. ‘’You okay?’’ the Illyrian asked. ‘’Yeah, I’m going to look between the dead for survivors and my men’’ I answered getting up. He nodded and joined me for the task. He watched as I directed the males and females still walking to carry all wounded back to camp. ‘’You know I have never seen an Illyrian with seven syphons’’ I said as we once again turned a fallen Illyrian over to check if It was Azriel or Rhysand. ‘’It's just me and Az that have so many’’. ‘’What is your name, you told me your friends names but never your own’’. ‘’It’s Cassian I am but a foot soldier you shouldn’t be around me’’ ‘’Nonsense, you fought by my side, no matter your rank you fought better than I have seen from some commodores and commanders’’ I said honestly. He looked confused for a moment, ‘’ my forces and I are all unclaimed, either because we are bastard born or born to the free species, if one fights well they are rewarded for doing so no matter their background’’ I said. As we continued on, we had found Lisa’s body, one of my aquatic nymphs but other than that no one we knew was dead. She was the first higher ranking soldier to perish, but my captains and I knew she wasn’t the last.   
Cassian had left my men and me when we arrived back at the camp to join his own in mourning the dead and caring for the wounded. As a real commanding officer should do, we both did our rounds sitting at the fires of our men listening to their stories. I ended up joining Cassian at a few of the Illyrians fires, though those males did not like that I was of such a high rank. Even as we went to sleep the restlessness of a day fighting barely left my body, it wanted to keep moving. I wouldn’t even let go of my dagger under the pillow needing it to feel a bit relaxed. Trying to drown out all the screams and terrible memories of the day, to let the exhaustion take over to do it all again tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.   
I shot up, hands clammy, breathing heavily at the brink of hyperventilating, and my limbs tangled with the sheets. I couldn’t see a thing, darkness was all I saw. The dizzying feeling of fear and anxiety started to flood my head as I scrambled to untangle myself from the sheets. They were soaked with something. I fell off the cot in my efforts to detangle the sheets, not being able to see anything. Nor could I hear anything other than the roar of the blood in my veins. My movements must have triggered something as a dim fae light turned on near my face. I could finally see that I was in a room. Though it did nothing for the sickening feeling in my stomach caused by the anxiety of waking up in an unfamiliar dark place. I all but sprinted to the bathroom to empty my stomach till there as nothing left, but bile. I was left on the cold stone floor dry heaving, trying to catch my breath. ‘’Bri’’ A muffled voice sounded at the door. ‘’Bri, are you okay’’ another knock sounded. I couldn’t speak or move. I sat frozen on the ground, not recognising anything in my anxious state. ‘’Dammit Bri, open up, or I am coming in’’ the voice sounded again. A few moments of uncomfortable silence later the door was opened, not forcibly might I add. But I still didn’t move from my place near the toilet, frozen in fear of who might be in this strange room with me. ‘’Oh, Bri’’ the voice sounded from the bathroom door. I gathered up my energy to look up, meeting the familiar hazel eyes. ‘’Cassian’’ shot through my head. ‘’I’m sorry I woke you’’ I said standing up weakly so that I could rinse my mouth. ‘’Bri, it’s okay I heard you throw up and came to check on you’’ he said worry visible on his face in the mirror. ‘’I’m okay’’ I said turning to him so that he could see I was speaking the truth. He nodded silently knowing the I would not just tell him. When I did my first step, my knees gave out, and I collapsed onto the hard floor. Cassian moved forward but saw my flinch, stopping in place holding up his arms as if saying I’m not going to hurt you. ‘’Let’s get you to bed, please let me help you’’ he said holding out a hand for me to take. I hesitantly took his hand as he pulled me up, letting me hold onto his arm to keep myself upright but not making any moved to touch me himself. As I laid back on the bed, he took out a new set of sheets throwing the others in the laundry basket. I nodded my thanks, feeling exhausted but not being able to sleep with a male in the room. ‘’Do you want to talk about it’’ Cassian asked as he sat on the edge near me. I shook my head and said ‘’It was just the day we met, only some memories no need to worry’’. He looked at me sceptically on the worry part but relented knowing that I will tell him when I want to. ‘’Just know that you are safe here, my guestroom is next door so call if you need anything.’’ I nodded my thanks as he walked out of the room, as I dimmed the fae light. I could still see the features of the room, but it was not bright enough to disrupt my sleep. And once again I fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep. I woke up, and by the dim light shining in the gap between the curtains, it must have been morning. I saw a set of clothes on the edge of my bed, similar to the ones from yesterday. I didn’t get to change yet as a knock sounded on the door. As it opened an older dark-skinned female walked in, ‘’Ah, it’s good to see you finally awake, the others were starting to worry’’. I looked at her curiously as she stayed in the opening. ‘’I’m Madja, the healer who has been working on your injuries I want to check them one last time’’. I nodded which seemed to give her the okay on moving closer. I could trust healers as naïve as it may sound they were the only ones to be somewhat pleasant and remorseful all these years. ‘’Lay on your stomach first’’ I just did it happily she didn’t make me undress though she could see most scars. It still helped not having to remove my shirt. ‘’Ah good Madja you’re already here’’ Rhysands voice sounded making me flinch a bit. As I looked to him, I saw a somewhat sad look on his face though I do not know if it was because of the flinch. ‘’Yes, Highlord as I told you last time she needed one more check-up’’ Madja said to him. She moved her hands, hovering over my body as her cooling magic ran a diagnostic. She nodded and instructed me to move onto my back, going over the same steps. ‘’The injuries have healed enough for your body to take over for the last parts, you might still experience some soreness or discomfort when you move but other than that it should all be fine’’ I nodded. She continued ‘’you do need more food and light, I would suggest working on your strength once you have gained some weight back.’’ Again I nodded, taking in the suggestions though they seem logical. Knowing who she usually dealt with in this court, it didn’t surprise me. She gave me one last look and then gathered her things walking out of the room. I muttered a small thank you not really knowing what to say or do. Rhysand was still in the room and motioned to the clothes, ‘’Get dressed we are having breakfast in the kitchens if you want to join us’’. I nodded and got up out of bed, as I did so Rhysand said ‘’I will send for you in a few minutes so you can freshen up’’. I nodded, placing a small smile on my face to hopefully convey my thanks as I walked to the bathroom. I still could not look at my body in the mirror as I stripped off my nightshirt. Slipping into the bath, I relaxed a bit, it then dawned on me. Cassian had seen me in only my underwear and t-shirt. ‘’Shit’’ I cursed out loud, knowing without looking that I had scars littering most of my skin. ‘’I shouldn’t panic, he had seen some of them be treated before’’ I thought forcing down the panic. I didn’t stay in the tub for a long time, lost in thought as I dressed and combed through my long hair. ‘’What will they think, after yesterday, after Rhysand took me here from that hell’’. Thoughts swirling around my head, consuming all my concentration that I overlooked a knock-on the door. As I turned around, I stood face to face with Nuala and Cerridwen. I stumbled back in surprise as they let out a quiet giggle. ‘’we did knock on the door you know’’ one said and the other ‘’come we will show you the way to breakfast.’’ I nodded, recovering from my surprise, and as I followed them, it was replaced by some anxiety. Walking into the kitchen was much more comfortable than yesterday, it seemed looser even with the informal nature of the inner circle. Cassian was nowhere to be seen, nor Amren for that matter. Mor was sipping on some orange juice sending me a smile, as Rhysand tucked into his plate. Azriel was just sitting down at the small kitchen table. I looked around a bit lost as the twins left my side to begin their work needing some bread products. ‘’i- I’m really sorry for l-leaving last n-night’’ I said stumbling over my words looking down at the floor. ‘’It’s nothing’’ Rhysand replied, ‘’come on sit down and eat’’. I looked through my whimpers, Rhysand motions to the chair next to him and Azriel. I slowly made my way over to them, my hands clenched in my pockets, trying to hide my anxiety. I sat down, still moving my hands to my lap, trying to relax them as I gripped the fabric a bit. A plate filled with some yoghurt and granola was placed in front of me by Azriel. I looked up at him nodding in thanks, his face did not betray anything keeping his hewn façade. ‘’Mor, could you show Briar around the house’’ Rhysand asks his cousin starting up a conversation. She nodded with a smile, chatting happily about what else she could show me. I slowly ate some yoghurt, knowing that it could upset my stomach otherwise. Azriel was silent next to me though his shadows were still swirling around him but much slower than I saw yesterday. They intrigued me, Rhysand had told me about his companions in the darkest moments under the mountain. The shadowsinger most of all, I had not met one like him even though I am certain Hybern must have had one in his court. He seemed trustworthy, they all did, but could I trust again. Would I even be able to trust someone after all that had happened? Yes, Rhysand took me with him as promised but still. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed the conversation shifting to me. ‘’Briar?’’ Rhysand asked looking at me, ‘’are you okay?’’ I nodded and offered an explanation ‘’I was lost in thought, sorry, what did you ask?’’. ‘’I asked if you were finished eating, then we can start the tour’’ Morrigan said. I nodded to hear, noticing that I had finished the plate. I couldn’t help but see the sceptical look Azriel sent my way, nor the look Rhysand gave me. Knowing that the dish of yoghurt isn’t a standard sized breakfast, but it was still more than was given to me in years. ‘’it’s more than I have had in years’’ I said directing it to the boys. Rhysand nodded solemnly letting me go with Morrigan. ‘’Where to first?’’ I asked as we walked through the door. ‘’To the balcony, I want to show you the city’’ she answered leading me to the dining room we ate at yesterday. As we walked onto the balcony, I gasped. The city below was beautiful, and I could not help but gulp the free clean air taking in the sight as if I blinked it would be gone. Words had left me, as I just stared. ‘’If you think this is beautiful you should come out at night, or better yet come shopping with me or to Rita’s when your ready’’ Morrigan said with a smile on her face because of my reaction. It is evident that she loved this city with all her heart. ‘’Even though the town is beautiful now this is the night court, it was build to be admired at night, when the time comes I will show you around all the palaces all my favourite spots’’ She said. ‘’I- I would love that lady Morrigan’’ I answered still not tearing my gaze from the city. ‘’No need for calling me lady actually you don’t have to for any of us, nor Morrigan for that matter you’re important for Cass and Rhys just call me Mor.’’ ‘’Thank you, thank you’’ I said. ‘’No need to thank me, come on let me show you the rest of the house of the wind, I have a feeling we will become great friends’’ she said enthusiastically and began leading me away back into the house. We spent the majority of the day together, just walking around the house so that I would not get lost anymore. I was becoming comfortable with her more and more as the day went on. We were currently sitting at the dinner table with the inner circle, though Amren was missing still. ‘’She isn’t always here, it's also rare for all of us to be together for dinner’’ Mor said to me. I nodded, taking a bite of the potatoes. ‘’Cass can we start training again’’ I asked my old friend. The others looked a bit surprised at me. ‘’Are you sure?’’ Rhysand asked, ‘’Well I will have to gain back some weight but with the war coming I need to be ready whether I like it or not’’ I said almost confidently. Cassian nodded from his place in front of me. ‘’We train most days at dawn, join us in a weeks time when you have gained back some strength’’ he said. I nodded as the conversation moved to the situation in the Illyrian war camps. Their prejudices against female warriors were still as bad as 500 years ago. ‘’Can’t those males get over themselves, they almost sound worse than in the last war’’ I said out loud, meaning to just think it. Cassian laughed at my statement thinking back to Devlons and my meeting in the fourth year of the war as I made commander. Azriel looked pleasantly surprised at my comment, whereas Rhysand and Mor just laughed along with Cassian. ‘’Did you meet any war-camp leaders back then?’’ Azriel asked curiously, ‘’A few actually some more agreeable than others but most just annoying bastards that did not listen to any of my commands’’ I huffed remembering the second half of the war. ‘’You should have seen her and Devlon go at it’’ Cassian bellowed laughing loudly, ‘’he was one of the more agreeable ones, trust me Karl was way worse’’ I piped up. Remember those moments didn’t get my heart racing as much as the memories of the nights and battles, but it still wasn’t great. ‘’Cassian stop it your making her uncomfortable’’ Mor said noticing my look. I nodded my thanks, I had barely noticed that my face had fallen. I was really becoming comfortable with them if I didn’t even notice that, this was going too fast, way to fast. We moved to a sitting room, as the conversation shifted to the banter between Mor and Cassian, with Rhysand pipping in occasionally while Azriel and I remained silently watching. I swore I saw a faint smile on Azriel's face. Even though I was relaxing fast, I could not help it, I knew it would not last this peace, but I wished it did and drank up every moment of it. The next few days, I rested, regaining my strength day by day, but my magic remained dormant. I read up on the past 500 years, spent time outside enjoying the freedom of it. Mor almost got me to tag along for some shopping, but I thought it would be too much and had to rain check. I did wonder what happened to the human girl turned high fae, when would she get here. I still had the nightmares, but I found leaving on a dim fae light, or an open curtain helped me calm down enough that I did not wake up Cassian. I still did not dare look into the mirror afraid to see all that had happened, I knew I would have to at some point, but I wished to avoid it as much as possible until today eight days after I had woken up. Finally, I had gathered my courage to look and see the damage.   
I looked into the mirror and …


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
This will be quite a short chapter compared to the previous one. You can skip it till the bold words near the end that’s is where it picks up again.   
Azriel's POV  
I stood in the doorway of the females' room again, we had all taken shifts looking over her. She intrigues me, this woman that Cassian had such a strong reaction to when he saw her on Rhys’ couch. My shadows couldn’t tell me anything about her, as if she hadn’t existed until now. ’’When will she wake up? Cassian asked from his seat next to her. He had barely left her side, only for training, food, or sleep and is back by her side the moment he was done. ‘’ Probably in a day or two at most, her mind seems ready and the trauma done to her body has healed almost completely’’ Madja answered. Mor stood next to Cassian, it was time for her to take up the next watch.   
‘’her hand twitched’’ a shadow whispered in my ear, and Mor called our ‘’She is moving again’’. This earned mine and Cass’ attention, and he fell to his knees next to her bed, gripping her hand. . "Come-on Bri wake-up, come back" Cassian pleaded. I left the room not being able to see my brother begging for her to wake up, it hurt me to see him like that not being able to do anything. Mor shook her head as she walked out of the room with Madja, ‘’She still won’t wake up’’ Mor said. Rhysand passed us on the way to her room, he only nodded to us. ‘’I’m worried about him’’ Mor said. I nodded to her, ‘’he hasn’t been the same since he arrives back it’s been two months’’ I answered. As much as he tried to hide it, he was broken, he missed his mate, and now the female won’t wake up. I felt a shadow snake up my body to whisper. She’s awake. ‘’Mor she’s awake’’ I said. She nodded, ‘’ maybe those two will finally relax, but I got to go I have a meeting with the palace of bone and salt’’. I sent her a small smile which she returned walking off. As I headed to the training grounds, Mor still holds my heart after so long she always does.  
Cassian joined me not long after I got to the ring. He almost whacked me on the side of my head, but I blocked it just in time. We were currently sparring, but Cassian was practically bouncing; he was that excited the girl was awake. ‘’You will see Az, she’s an amazing fighter’’ he said as I swiped at him. I looked at him with a look that hopefully read, Shut it and just fight. As we continued sparring, I began to wonder how they knew each other, she looked so small I could not imagine her being a warrior, nor did my shadows sense any magic of her. Cassian must have noticed my doubtful look and said ‘’Just wait, and watch when we spar’’. We spent the next two hours sparring with different wooden weapons until we had to freshen up for the family dinner.   
My shadows new before I even heard the door open. I saw her eyes first those clear dark blue eyes, she looked terrified absolutely and utterly terrified of us, of me. Only her face was visible the rest was hidden behind the door which inched open till it creaked, causing the others to look at her. She froze as all their eyes turned to her. ‘’Bri’’ Cassian said standing up from his place next to Mor and walking over to her. His voice was low, lower than I had heard him speak in a long time, it was as if he was approaching a wounded animal. I saw her flinching and felt it as if it was my own reaction. "Shh, it's safe, they are safe" Cassian shushed still slowly moving towards her until he was at an arm’s length. It took her a few minutes before taking his outstretched hand but even slightly hid behind Cassian as he led her to us.   
Mor squealed jumping up "You're so pretty" trying to hug her, unable to keep her enthusiasm for having another girl in check. Before Mor could, though she darted behind Cass making herself small. Mor’s face fell, but a knowing look readable between the sadness. "Briar meet my cousin Morrigan," Rhysand said motioning to the beautiful woman next to me. He then motioned to the Amren "This here is Amren, do not let her near you jewellery or she might take it". Amren cocked her head, observing the new girls silver eyes swirling. "And lastly, my brothers, our spymaster Azriel and your know Cassian my general and commander," Rhysand said motioning us. ‘’She is interested’’ ‘’she is observing you’’ ‘’so broken, so much power’’ my shadows whispered.   
"Can we eat I am starving" Cassians voice boomed, as she flinched again I could almost feel it physically, strange? We all moved to the table, taking up our usual spots, or I thought we all did. Mor spotted her still rooted to her place, she smiled at her "come sit next to me, it has been a while since a new female joined us". Slowly as only a fae could she moved to sit between her and Cassian. As Rhysand moved his hand and the food appeared Cass whooped just like he always did slightly quieter. He and Mor started to fill their plates with ferocity, but the girl, Briar, she didn’t she just stared down at her lap. Even I had filled my plate by the time she made a move to the food. Something dark fell over her face, ‘’She hasn’t had a decent meal in years’’ My shadows whispered.   
Small chatter began around the table as we started eating, though I remained quiet as usual. Mor and Cass falling into their usual banter, all of it seemed so like it always was but quieter. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me," Briar said her voice raw with misuse. We all feigned confusion looking at her as if nothing was different, as we promised Cassian. , "come on, I may have been in a cell for longer than I wish on anyone, but I am not dim-witted," Briar said her voice rawer than before. Cassian led out a loud laugh "that is the Bri I now" "How do you guys know each other" I asked as Cassian did not tell us whenever Mor and I tried to pry it from him. "I want to know that too, " Mor said, looking somewhat hopeful she really wanted to know. From what Cassian had told us she was a warrior like Mor, which got her more excited. "We met on a battlefield at the beginning of the war" she simply said, closing her eyes. The war wasn’t as sensitive of a subject for us anymore, but it was apparent by the look on her face and her rigid position that it still was for her. Not that it mattered we all had our demons from that time, I swore I could feel some fear or speeding up of a heart, but I must have imagined it.   
Cassian put his arm around the back of her chair, "She is a menace on the battlefield, you should have seen her in any of the fights" He said boosting. I couldn’t help but stare, how could someone so small and timid have such abilities, Mor just gaped her probably thinking the same. Amren, on the other hand, looked intrigued as she had been studying her all dinner. The look on Briars face said enough, she was battling the memories trying to keep them down, terror radiating off of her. "I am not the same as then Cass," she said to him, "A lot has happened since the last time you saw me". Her voice broke, then her façade fell utterly. The fear now more evident on her face, it hurt me to see and hear her break. ‘’her walls are closing’’. ‘’I’m sorry, I - I h-have to g-go’’ she stuttered. She ran out of the room. ‘’she’s still outside the door’’. ‘’She helped me look for you guys between the dead on those fields, on the lists’’ Cassian said ‘’she saved me multiple times, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her in those critical battles nor would you Rhys she helped on getting you out.’’ We all fell quiet, Cassian never really said anything about the people he met during the war.   
‘’We met about six months into the war, my legion was assigned to a part of the black sands.’’ Cassian began, ‘’we got their late afternoon, but the battle had already been going on for hours I was directed to the frontline somewhere in the middle. As I landed this female blocked a blow aimed for my back after I yelled my thanks she yelled back to me something about covering her as she had one final magical attack in her’’. He stayed quiet for a moment remembering that battle. ‘’I covered her as she ascended, I don’t know how or what she was doing but she felled about half of the remaining soldiers, that’s how we met. Every time we were in the same camp or battle, we had each other back.’’ ‘’What did you mean about Rhys? And what magic does she have?’’ Mor asked. ‘’It’s not my place to tell about her powers, nor can the rescue attempt she disappeared after it, so I never got to see her again’’. He said. This surprised me, it hurt me to know she was in those battles but still. And that Cassian was hurting so much because she disappeared. Mor put a hand on his shoulder, ‘’we will hear it when she is ready’’. After that story, we moved to a sitting room chatting amongst themselves.   
‘’i- I’m really sorry for l-leaving last n-night’’ I heard her mumble stumbling over the words as she looked down at the floor. ‘’It’s nothing’’ Rhysand replied, ‘’come on sit down and eat’’. She sat next to me looking down at her clenched hands. The same anxiety was rolling off her, yet I could not do anything at all. Noticing that she wasn’t taking any food, I took one of the plates with yoghurt and granola and put it in front of her. I tried to keep my face neutral as she timidly nodded, ‘’Mor, could you show Briar around the house’’ Rhysand asks his cousin starting up a conversation. She nodded with a smile, chatting happily about what else she could show me. I had eaten my plate talking with Rhys about somethings concerning our southern neighbours. ‘’Briar are you done?’’ Mor asked the female, but she was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t even notice.   
‘’Briar?’’ Rhysand asked looking at her, ‘’are you okay?’’ she nodded and offered an explanation ‘’I was lost in thought, sorry, what did you ask?’’. I felt something akin to pity, she was so scared, so confused. It hurt almost, I couldn’t imagine what was going through her head. ‘’I asked if you were finished eating, then we can start the tour’’ Mor said. She nodded to her I shot Briar a sceptical look that wasn’t even going to sustain a child let along a full frown female. Rhysand looked at her guilt evident on his face. ‘’it’s more than I have had in years’’ she said directing it to us. I felt a pang of guilt as Rhys nodded solemnly letting her go with Morrigan. ‘’Where to first?’’ she asked as they walked through the door ‘’She barely had anything to eat Under the Mountain’’ Rhys said. I nodded, pushing down the memories of my own childhood before excusing myself from the table.   
The day went smoothly as I replied to most of my spies, reading their reports though no significant actions had been undertaken by the enemy. Dinner was typical as well though we were with more people than usual. ‘’Cass can we start training again’’ Briar asked my best friend and brother. I was surprised that she would ask that, even knowing her background, it was still weird to hear. ‘’Are you sure?’’ Rhysand asked, ‘’Well I will have to gain back some weight but with the war coming I need to be ready whether I like it or not’’ Briar said. Those words came out more comfortable and with more confidence than I have noticed from her. Cassian nodded to her and me ‘’We train most days at dawn, join us in a weeks time when you have gained back some strength’’ he said. She just nodded as the conversation moved to the situation in the Illyrian war camps. Their prejudices against female warriors were still as bad as ever, none of our efforts really paying off; no females are training, or when they had the option to they got so many chores that they were too tired. And let’s not forget the clipping of wings. ‘’Can’t those males get over themselves, they almost sound worse than in the last war’’ she said out loud. Cassian laughed at the statement, thinking. I looked pleasantly surprised at the comment I did not expect that to come from such a shy girl.  
Rhysand and Mor just laughed along with Cassian. ‘’Did you meet any war-camp leaders back then?’’ I asked curiously cause that must have been a bad experience. ‘’A few actually some more agreeable than others but most just annoying bastards that did not listen to any of my commands’’ she huffed annoyed and probably remembering some of them. ‘’You should have seen her and Devlon go at it’’ Cassian bellowed laughing loudly, ‘’he was one of the more agreeable ones, trust me Karl was way worse’’ she piped up. Really Devlon agreeable I almost snorted at that statement. Her face fell again, those memories must not be pleasant at all. ‘’Cassian stop it your making her uncomfortable’’ Mor said noticing it as well. We moved to a sitting room, as the conversation shifted to the banter between Mor and Cassian, with Rhysand pipping in occasionally. I remained silently watching enjoying to be with my family smiling faintly as my shadows liked to remind me.   
Later that week, right before dinner, a shadow came back to my frantically. It was the shadow I had watching Briar in case she needed help or something. I immediately went rigid, my shadows thickening and swirling frantically. ‘’Anxiety, help, panic, Briar’’ ‘’Az what is it’’ Mor asked ‘’Briar’’ Was all I said to the female I had been pining after for 500 years. Cassian was out of the door before any of us as we followed him to her room. Sobbing, it was the first thing that hit us, the sound of someone sobbing. Her lights were on, but Cassian had broken her door getting in he was deadly calm. There she sat on the floor knife in her right hand a tuft of hair in the other. Her breathing if you could even call it that, was shallow and fast there was no way that she was getting enough oxygen. ‘’it needs to go’’ she muttered in between breaths almost to low to hear. ‘’Protect, help, Protect her’’ my shadows called to me. Cassian walked closer, but she scrambled to get away from him a faint no coming from her lips. Over and over again as a mantra, no, it has to go, dirty, worthless, it went on. It hurt me to see her like that, as I sent over a small shadow to see if she would allow it to touch her. Rhysand had also reached the room by now, turned pale at sight, with Mor holding onto him. She accepted the shadow, and I sent more trying to comfort her, ‘’shh, shh’’ Cassian began shushing her reaching out to her. After some time she finally took his hand but nothing more, no hug nothing, only his hand and my shadows touching her.   
It took more time for her to calm down enough for her to stop hyperventilating. ‘’It needs to go, the hair’’ she forced our, voice raw and thick, tears still streaming over her face. ‘’Let me’’ Mor said approaching her replacing Cassian. ‘’How short? Can you give me the knife’’ Mor asked. I didn’t retreat my shadows, noticing that she only had a bathrobe on and maybe some under clothing. ‘’Sh-sh-should-d-der’’ Briar stuttered as Mor guided her to sit on the edge of the tub. ‘’Out you three’’ Mor said to us, I nodded leaving the shadows with her for comfort. ‘’Rhys what was that about’’ Cassian asked as we walked back to the sitting room. ‘’500 years of torture’’ Was his short answer. We nodded, ‘’She will tell us when she is ready’’ Cass told us. I kept silent knowing what kind of torture techniques are usually used on females, and those by unsavoury courts and kingdoms are even worse. I feel quilt, and I see Rhysand looking at me with the same guilt in his eyes, guessing what I am thinking. Never does he look into our minds without permission, but he knows us too well. ‘’I need a drink’’ he said opening one of his good bottles.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
Warning, some sensitive things are mentioned (torture/rape) in this chapter, it will be contained to this one you won’t miss anything by skipping—only some back story, as this is Briar’s mind at the end of the last chapter. I am not trying to glorify it at all, but it is part of her back story, it is why she cannot be touched by anyone.   
I felt numb, utterly and irrevocably numb. What I saw in that mirror it, it, it was, me yet I barely recognised myself. I did not register when I got the knife, or when I cut off that first bit of hair. I was spiralling into the dark abyss of my mind, my memories. My hair it was so long, so so long, she liked that Amarantha liked it. All those males did, all of them. It had to go.  
I didn’t notice a small shadow springing out of my own as I sank to the floor, nor the first tears that had started to roll down my cheeks. Not registering the cold, hard stones against my legs. Only the thoughts of all the pulling on my hair, all those moments in torture- and bedrooms. It had to go. I was so lost in the memories, that the loud crash barely registered. Instead, it triggered a memory of Under the Mountain.   
50 years ago  
A loud crash sounded as the door to my new cell opened. I had been brought to Amarantha by the Attor a few months ago. Now I was to be in a section so close to the people I used to fight alongside with. The door banged against the wall, as I tried shrinking curling up in a tighter ball. Why couldn’t I just phase through the floor? My entire body hurt, as I was pulled up harshly by my hair. It was some noble, his pale complexion with Spanish features and dark hair suggested court of nightmares. Shit, I thought. ‘’Amarantha has given you to me, just for tonight though’’ he drawled his voice cold. He didn’t waste any time roughly binding me to the cot before getting into me. He did nothing to soothe me as I started sobbing, the restraints tight his thrusts hard and raw hurting me. It seemed like forever until he finished leaving me bare, bound, raw almost to the point of drawing blood, leaking his, his seed. ‘’Maybe until next time’’ he smirked. It wasn’t the last time I saw him. 

A movement caught my eye, a large male was moving towards me. I probably flinched as he stopped in his place. I scrambled away from the things in my hands, not leaving them, I gripped the knife tighter. Muttering my thoughts over and over, not really registering them as my mind raced almost as fast as my heart. I was dizzy due to a lack of oxygen and began to feel the tears on my cheeks. I felt a shadow brush my ankle, but I didn’t flinch, and soon more of them covering my exposed skin hiding me. ‘’shh, shh’’ Cassian tried shushing me, wait for Cass only now recognising him and the others that had entered the room. He reached out a hand only for me to grip it with my left hand feeling some comfort in his touch, he was a friend, he grounded me. It took so long for me to calm down enough to stop hyperventilating. ‘’It needs to go, the hair’’ I forced out, voice raw and thick, tears still streaming over my face. As I became more aware of where I was moving further out of the darkness towards the now. ‘’Let me’’ Mor said approaching me and replacing Cassians place. ‘’How short? Can you give me the knife’’ Mor asked. I hesitated but let go of the weapon in my hand. She didn’t seem like she would hurt me; instead, she looked at me with sympathy and understanding in her eyes. The shadows didn’t retreat; they kept me covered as I only had a bathrobe on. ‘’Sh-sh-should-d-der’’ I stuttered beating myself up in my mind for sounding so weak. As Mor guided her to sit on the edge of the tub. ‘’Out you three’’ Mor said to the males standing in the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.   
Mor was silent as she cut my hair, procuring scissors from somewhere. I kept my eyes closed tight so that I did not have to look at Mor nor myself in the mirror. ‘’All done’’ Mor said cutting off the last long lock of hair. ‘’I may not know what happened, but I know what it is like to be touched against your will’’ She said with a hand on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes blinking against the light, they fell on the mirror in front of me. The hair used to go to my waist was nog slightly below my shoulders as it has always been before it all happened. I looked at Mor smiling, ‘’thank you’’ I whispered voice thick after all the crying. She nodded sympathy shining in her eyes, but no pity. ‘’Come on let's dress you and join the others’’ Mor said, ‘’I- I ‘’ I stuttered out. ‘’No, none of that, you need to eat something even if it is just a yoghurt’’ Mor shook her hand extending her hand. As we walked back to my bedroom, I looked down, my legs were black with shadows slowly moving to caress the form of them. ‘’Az left them with you, they were the only things able to touch, you flinched away from Cass’’ Mor offered the explanation. I nodded silently, oddly enough they were somewhat comforting, not unsettling or fear-inducing. Mor handed me a long-sleeved blue tunic and soft black leggings, turning around for me to change.   
We were silent the whole way to the sitting room in which the boys had been sitting. Again fear entered me as I stood in the threshold, Mor had entered smiling faintly as she joined them. They had opened some wine bottles and were drinking already slightly buzzed by the large hand gestures Cass was making. I felt a small tug on my ankle, a tiny shadow was nudging me towards the others in the room. I stepped inside, looking through my eyelashes. ‘’Bri, come on sit here’’ Cass shouted. I sat next to him, as Azriel sent me a small encouraging smile. ‘’I’m really sorry for what just happened’’ I said feeling ashamed unable to look up from my lap. It went quiet for a little while.   
‘’No need we understand,’’ Rhysand said ‘’there is no reason to feel ashamed’’. I nodded, not really believing him just yet. ‘’I want to train’’ I whispered. ‘’Are you sure you’re ready?’’ Cassian asked. ‘’It doesn’t matter whether I am ready or not’’ I started causing them to look at me curiously. ‘’I can’t handle sparring or anything close combat wise, but I need to do something’’ I said. Nuala and Cerridwen entered with some light dishes. Cassian and Rhysand shared a look that did not go unnoticed by Azriel and me. ‘’The training ring is yours to use’’ Rhysand said, as I stood up taking a small sandwich with me. I excused myself and left to my room, staring out over Velaris from my balcony.   
After a restless night, I stood in the training ring, a wooden bow staff in hand. The sun was only just rising, and even though I knew the others would soon be here to start their own training, I just could not wait any longer. Falling into the cat stance and starting the basic drills. Front strike, thurst, parry, parry. Turn around, block left and right, strick to the ribs. It was a dance, a dance of death yet I enjoyed it so much. It was strange to once again have a weapon in my hand, even though a bo staff might seem innocent, they can bring some real damage when wielded correctly. I move light-footed, twirling, striking and retreating as if fighting something of my own. That’s when I felt it, a little spark, barely noticeable but it was there. I stumbled as it surprised me to feel it after so long. It wasn’t strong enough for me to be able to use it, but it was there.   
I recovered from my stumble, regaining my footing turning around swiping the floor as I go. Resuming the dance, striking efficiently, I am frustrated with the weakness that had started to seep into my muscles. This used to be my warm-up, to loosen the muscles yet practising precision, honing the strength that used to be there. After two more runs through my usual drill, I had to stop to catch my breath.   
Slow clapping sounded in the corners as Cassian stood from his spot. He had watched me as he had a few times during the war, and next to him stood Rhysand, Mor and Azriel. Cassian rushed forward as my knees gave in to the exhaustion, just like it did after most battles. I flinched away from his hands, but he seemed so enthusiastic. ‘’I knew it’’ He called out with a big smile. I smiled at him tiredly. ‘’If that was anything to go by you truly are a magnificent fighter’’ Azriel said smiling some awe faintly in his eyes. Mor looked shocked at his comment, ‘’Rhys did I just hear that right, Az gave a compliment’’ she asked her cousin. Rhysand just nodded looking somewhat shocked himself though there was still a profound sadness in his eyes. ‘’Azriel come on our turn to show Bri what we're made of’’ Cassian said turning to his friends.   
As they stepped into one of the rings, both holding swords blunt for practice yet getting hit would still cause damage, especially with their strength. As the fight started, they circled each other waiting for the other to make the first move. ‘’We will need to talk later’’ Rhysand said, ‘’about the others like you’’. I knew it was coming so I just nodded at him. Resuming to watch the fight, as Cassian went to strike Azriel only to be blocked and pushed back. Back and forth, on and on, as they parried and blocked. In the end, Cassian won, though I doubt that in an all-out fight in which Azriel could use the shadows, that one of them would end up on top. Mor and Rhysand took the ring next as Azriel left to do his job as spymaster and Cassian plopped down next to me. ‘’what of you magic’’ he asked taking a drink of water. ‘’I was dosed with faebane for so long, it has yet to return to me if it even will’’ I lied. Yes, I felt a spark, but if that was all that would return then, I would not be able to use it in a fight.   
It was approaching noon when Rhysands face fell. ‘’She’s’’ he muttered. He dropped the sword that he was holding, as Mor came to a standstill as well. ‘’Go, go to her’’ Mor said with understanding in her eyes, ‘’I will meet you at the mountain palace, bring her home’’. Rhysands outfit changed, and he flew up outside of the wards range so that he could winnow. ‘’He’s getting Feyre from the spring court’’ Cassian explained seeing my confusion. The mortal made fae, the girl who had saved them all Under the Mountain. As the realisation dawned on me, the bargain Rhysand hadn’t called it in, not for the past three months, until now.   
The next week Rhysand and Mor spent at the mountain palace, whilst Cassian and Azriel worked on their respective tasks, I had the time to gain more and more strength back. I slowly but surely became comfortable with the weapons in my hands as my muscles started to remember the movements.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Its been a week since Rhysand and Mor had left to help Feyre. The spark had grown slowly over the week, and I should start to train with it again. I still could not be touched by anyone, even the twin's shadow like touches where too much at times. Even know sitting on the landing space looking out over the city. I knew rationally that I was safe, yet I just could not let go of that fear, it had been conditioned into my being. I feared that the terror would never leave me. The memories certainly won’t, but maybe one day, I will be able to sleep through the night. A shadow snaked along my ankle, notifying me that Azriel was coming, he started doing so after startling me in the ring at the beginning of the week. He stood beside me silently, as we watched the nightlife starting the come alive in the city as the stars began to appear.   
‘’Would you like to train with me tomorrow’’ his smooth voice sounded. I looked at him, he looked hopeful behind his stoic façade. ‘’No hand to hand, just swordplay or bo staff if you prefer’’ he said maybe a bit too quickly. I hesitated for a minute, rationally I knew I had to do it but was I mentally ready. The easy answer no, the more challenging explanation would be no still, but this was training, not anything else. I nodded and said ‘’I would like that, but no touching’’. ‘’of course’’ he answered. We were silent for a while, though not uncomfortable rather a lovely silence. I was really getting too comfortable, especially around him. ‘’Az’’ Cassian called from the doorway. ‘’What is it this time Cass’’ he asked, and I swore I felt a little annoyance. He sent me a small smile before walking to Cassian. ‘’Tomorrow we have a family dinner, you’re welcome to join’’ called out to me. I nodded to him, ‘’ I’ll think about it.’’ Turning back to the city for a little longer, before going to my room for another night of restless sleeping and nightmares.   
Standing in the training courtyard just after seven, staring at the weapons rack as once again a shadow snaked my ankle. ‘’Cassian said you preferred dual swords’’ Azriel said walking up to me. ‘’It’s okay I can fight with single swords just as well, but I might be a bit rusty’’. He nodded motioning to the ring behind us, ‘’ready to get started’’. I nodded, taking a long slim sword and following him. He had picked his usual sword and took his fighting stance. I followed noting that his stance was more robust than mine, not as much as Cassian so he must favour some speed over the brutal strength his brother wields. As we started, my suspicions were confirmed, he moved silently and with quite some grace.   
He took a small step towards me, as I stepped back, as I mocked a strick to his right side, our real dance began. We moved in response to each other, as we tried to strike the other. This dance was about more than just brute strength, and we both knew it, our wits and speed seemed to be equally matched. He made a front strike which I could easily block, but the moment I did, he went to trip me. I jumped over his swipe towards the back, swirling over me left side the swipe at his legs. He answered the swipe with a block-pushing my sword back. This time going for my left side, dodging and striking forward was my answer. We continued anticipating, avoiding, hitting, thrusting and swiping at each other for a long time. I could tell he was holding back slightly, but by the end of our session, we were both sweating and breathing hard.   
Finally, he hit me in the side, which causes me to fall, I tried to trip him, but it was too late. He had pointed his sword at my neck. He smiled faintly at me and said, ‘’good fight.’’ I nodded my thanks, trying to regain my breath as he held out his hand to help me up. I know he meant well, but I couldn’t take his hand, I flinched. Hurt flashed on his face. I wanted to sink through the ground, ‘’I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to’’ I whispered. Azriel kneeled to my level sitting down on the floor a meter or so away from me. As I sat up, crossing my legs. ‘’it’s really okay, I understand’’ he said.  
‘’It’s not okay, it's not you; I swear’’ I began ‘’I shouldn’t be so afraid, it's safe here even with the war coming’’. ‘’Hey, hey, look at me,’’ he said hearing my distress. ‘’It’s okay to be scared, I don’t know what you have been through, but we all have our demons we understand, I want to help you’’ he said. The sincerity in his eyes almost made me hug him, but I couldn’t not yet. ‘’thank you’’ I whispered, ‘’how can I ever repay you guys?’’ ‘’There is no need for that’’ Rhysands voice sounded behind us, he smirked at the both of us. Finding us in such an intimate position, well intimate for us that is. ‘’You’re back’’ I said ‘’how was she’’. His smirk fell shaking his head, ‘’not great, I don’t know what they are doing to her there, but it is terrible’’. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ I said standing up. ‘’It’s why I am here, Azriel can you post extra spies in the spring court?’’ Azriel nodded to the question and went to write the letters required. I guess Rhysand talked to him through his mind.   
‘’Briar we need to talk about your people’’ Rhysand started. I nodded, knowing what was coming. The conversation that followed was a bit awkward, but he knew where I might find some of my own people. I left that day before the dinner to hone my body and mind, hoping that the little magic that had returned would keep increasing as I went. I was trying to track down some of my old squad or some of the tribes. Being careful to keep out of the spring and autumn courts.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Moving through the snow of the Winter court trying to keep low as I needed to cross into the mutual lands around the mountain. I had spoken to a few yuki-onna’s in the hills of the winter court, they would try to send messages to the other lesser fae part of the water spirits such as the selkies and kelpies wandering the coasts. Similar to the wind wraiths that I spoke to in the dawn court, they would send a message to any of us they could reach while surfing the wind currents. One thing the yuki-onna heard was a rumour of dark wanderers spotted in the spring court moving towards the north, and supposedly they had made it to the mutual lands. As I got to the border, I had to check my weapons, twins swords at my back, with several daggers hidden along my body; lastly, a carbon folded bo staff. Over these four weeks, I had travelled light, hunting for my food, creating my own shelter when needed, and only stopping when I really needed to. These weeks I only found a few of my people, none of my old group had been spotted in ages, whether they were still alive or not was uncertain. Those that I spoke were going to spread the word of the war and that Prythian calls for aid. All I could do was hope, and maybe the word would reach them in time, perhaps the arms can be called in. I had now fully crossed the border the cold, leaving my body though not entirely it was still winter after all.   
Stalking through the light snow, I listened for any small crunch of snow, looking for any movement in the low light. I was losing daylight and fast, I had to make camp soon or else I would not be able to sleep dry or safe tonight. I spotted a light a longs way away from me, the weavers' cottage, it was still quite far away, but in the growing dark looking from the right angle a faint glow was visible. I moved westward towards the sea, not wanting to be anywhere near her. The snow was soft beneath me, not as crisp as it was in the winter court just a little melted after a day. The air, however, wasn’t as clean as the winter court, it was heavy, remnants of Under the Mountain I thought shuddering at the memories. I found a small burrow where I could sit out of the wind.   
I busied my hands with making a small fire, while my mind was occupied with listening to my surroundings. The forest was quiet, way too dead, and it had been since I entered. Whatever dark tribe is prowling these lands must really be bad. Just as I got my fire started, I heard a loud hissing behind me, and I was jumped by something. My left arm got burned slightly, but I didn’t care rolling on my back and hitting the thing with my elbow as I jumped up. I drew my blades, observing my opponent, Naga, I hate those snakelike humanoids. The one who had jumped me hissed again trying to grab my ankle, though one swipe of my blade and the hand came off. I jumped back from the ledge into the opener area, the light of my fire illuminating the clearing in an orange glow. Three more Naga came strolling out of the woods, as I dropped in a fighting stance taking out a throwing dagger. I aimed for their leader, easily the bulkiest of the four as he took in his comrade on the floor. The cut-off hand laying near the fire; they hissed and pounced towards me, the dagger hit his shoulder yet it didn’t slow them down whatsoever. They were all claws and fangs as they began swiping at me, I thrust my right blade to the side, blocking a front blow with the other. I couldn’t let them surround me if they did, I would be dead. I swiped my leg underneath theirs, flooring one of them yet the other two remained standing striking at me again from above. This time I was able to block the two of them with the right sword and hitting the middle one with my left sword. As it cried out, the fallen Naga struck my leg with his claws. Pain erupted from my lower leg, but I had to keep going, adrenaline flooded my system as I noticed that the fourth had now also gotten up stumbling towards us.   
I pushed the two Naga back using my right sword, swiping back over their stomachs as I brought my left sword up in defence. All four were now standing, yet they made one vital mistake, my glimmer of magic. As weak as it was, I was able to boost me up, twisting over them and beheading one of them with the right sword. The fourth Naga now lay head- and handless on the forest floor just behind his tribe. Their screeches got to louder ‘’You will pay for this’’ The leader yelled clutching his stomach. He pounced on my back as I landed ripping the dark blue coat I had on, only just cutting the skin as I thrust my left sword into his belly before I took off running. It was a cowardly move, but the other two had already moved to grab my arms, one even cutting pretty deep. I sheeted my swords taking out a knife and throwing it to the one on my right, hitting him in the leg, slowing him down enough. Though the other took his chance and hit the side of my head, cutting my cheek. I twirled around swiping his legs from underneath him. This move bought me enough time to gather the magical energy I had left to winnow. I didn’t know where to go, but something in my gut guided me.   
Azriel’s POV (this will be shortish)  
‘’Welcome’’ I said to Feyre extending my hand, she took it once the shock of my burns had passed. ‘’Brothers?’’ She asked. Rhysand clarified it by saying ‘’ In the broadest sense that all bastards are brothers’’. The conversation moved to Cassian and his job, I piped up that he also ‘’excels at pissing off everyone, especially friends so good luck’’. Here we go I thought as Cassian asked about the trials of Under the Mountain. Feyre’s come back to Cassians insensitive questions was witty, she will definitely fit in with us. Cassian just laughed at it, then Mor walked in looking fabulous as always, my shadows no doubt reacting to it. The usual banter began, though I would generally enjoy this, we had company, so it had to stop before they started a fight. We needed an excellent impression Feyre had to decide whether she would join us or not. ‘’We have company’’ I said trying to herd them inside to the food.   
Several minutes later, we were all seated and eating, we had just discussed the syphons Cassian, and I wear. A crash sounded outside, all of us were on high alert this has never happened before. ‘’She’s hurt’’ my shadows whispered as all of us moved to the platform. A small heap laid there as if it fell from the sky. Well if they winnowed they must have dropped the last part. The pile groaned, wait, that sound. ‘’Briar’’ I breathed moving forward quickly turning her while encasing her exposed skin in shadows. She was hurt, her coat torn and a bloodred line ran over her back though it hadn’t broken the skin. I could see some blood seeping onto the stones, and I felt my shadows thicken with worry swirling frantically. ‘’Bri’’ Cassian said mortified by the look of her. Her face showed she was in pain, with a shallow cut bleeding on her cheekbone. Cassian also knelt next to her as the others stayed back in the warmness of the house. ‘’Hi, guys’’ she croaked out. ‘’What happened’’ Cassian asked. ‘’Not important just help me up and get inside’’ She answered. I shot him a sharp look, I had to help her. She didn’t flinch at my first touch but touching her to help her up was all on her terms.   
Briars POV.   
Shit, I thought as I fell the final few meters to the balcony. I crashed into the hard stones, not having the energy to summon some wind. Even though the spark had grown to about half my original power using it so much during the last four weeks had drained me. The doors open and familiar shadows snaked my ankles. I could have sworn I heard Azriel whisper Briar and it warmed me a little. I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning me to face the male. I could tell by the shadows trying to comfort me that it was Azriel, but I couldn’t help but grimace in pain. His hand move on his own to wipe away some blood from my cheek as Cassian knelt next to me. ‘’Hi, guys’’ I said my voice raw again after so little use. ’What happened’’ Cassian asked. ‘’Not important just help me up and get inside’’ I said not wanting to tell it while laying in a pool of my own blood. Cassian had stood and was reaching down to grab me, but one look from Azriel stopped him. Azriel let me initiate the touching, allowing me to swing my arm around his shoulder. I know he was going to have to carry me, so I nodded, giving my okay for him to grab the back of my knees. I still winced, but Azriel is safe. I kept reminding myself as he carried me inside after the others. ‘’We were just having dinner, I could have Cerridwen look you over and then you could join us’’ Azriel offered. I nodded, knowing my left arm needed cleaning just like my leg. He sat me down in the sitting area, so I just had to move into the next room after I was done. The others had already moved back into the dining room, and I couldn’t help but notice two things. First Feyre was among them and second the adoring look Azriel shot Mor.   
After Cerridwen had cleaned and dressed the cuts and helped me into a set of dark green loose pants and long-sleeved crop top. She pushed me into the room. I took the empty seat next to Amren. They were currently telling their backstories to Feyre who looked a bit conflicted. Cassian and Rhysand had told me their stories in the past, yet I did not know Azriel's. ‘’Are you high fae?’’ Feyre asked me. I shook my head and said ‘’No, the easy answer would be that I am a half-breed of lesser fae’’. She looked a bit confused, in fact, they all did.  
None of them ever asked me what I was or anything about my past really. ‘’then what are you’’ she pressed wanting to know my story as well. I stopped eating and hesitated probably a bit too long as Cassian said ‘’She’s a phenomenal warrior, so what happened out there who hurt you’’. The last part was directed to my wounds, this was easier to talk about, so I answered simply ‘’Naga’’. ‘’Are they here’’ Feyre asked with a slight tremble, she must have had a nasty run-in with them before. I shook my head ‘’no, I ran into them just outside of the winter court, they tried to ambush me’’. ‘’What’’ Cassian almost yelled, and I flinched at the sudden loud noise containing a lot of anger. ‘’Cass you have seen me get treated for worse, cauldron you have seen me get way worse wounds’’ I simply said trying not to reveal too much. She did notice my choice of words, ‘’Did you fight in the war?’’ ‘’Yes, I did, it is where I met Cassian and also where I was caught by Hybern’’. ‘’’Those are stories for another time’’ Rhysand said, just a few minutes earlier she had asked about the lists that were sent out after every battle. ‘’What is your story’’ Cassian asked Feyre, funnily enough, she actually indulged us in her story of wealth, than poverty. Having to hunt to sustain her family while her sisters sat at home with their father, all the way up to the moment she came to Prythian on some bullshit reason Tamlin made up. Cassian offered to teach her to fight she started to object as Tamlin had convinced her it was a bad thing. All of us, especially Mor, felt her pain. After Mor held her little speech, I piped up, ‘’if you’re not up for training with Cassian I can do it’’’. ‘’Bri, you’re still recovering yourself you won’t even let us touch you’’ Cassian argued. ‘’All the same Cass, I will do it if it makes her more comfortable, she needs to be able to defend herself. And come on a big brute like yourself couldn’t possibly teach the sneakiness that our size allows for.’’ He held his hands up in response, and I could have sworn Azriel laughed a little, but that could also be for Mor.   
‘’I will think about it’’ She said, though she did accept the offer to work with us against Hybern. The moment Rhysand said that Jurian’s eye was missing and possibly alive, the blood in my veins ran cold. He had gone mad during the war, after Clythia. It was the only distracting big enough for Amarantha to leave her camp with most of her forces, it was the day we went to save Rhysand our small squad. Azriel had noticed my rigid stance and looked at me with worry as I tried to follow the conversation. Rhysand and Feyre were going to the prison to see if it was possible to revive someone from just an eye and a fingerbone after so long. My mind swirling, he had seen almost all that had been done to me, let alone the mental strain being reduced to an eye might have caused. It had kept swirling as the others went to drink in the sitting room, but I moved to my bedroom for another night of Nightmares.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 *Flashback*  
This is another war flashback, again some stronger language may be used.   
Cassian's POV  
This freaking war had been going in for three years already nearing the fourth year. In about a month it will be four years since both Hybern, and the Black Sands had massacred. I was anxiously walking around the encampment made by my legion. Today was the day, today the lists would be posted. I had seen Rhysands legion faintly in the distance, moving southward away from the brutal battles of the midlands. He was going towards the line held by the mortals. The humans had won a sliver of land on the southern side of the continent, it may have been small, but it was a safe haven for all that did not want to or even could fight.  
A bell sounded interrupting my thoughts of my brothers, three times it rang. A messenger. I started to feel more restless, after so many battles, these four years had been hard not knowing how my brothers were doing. Azriel was always near our high lord, though he did not shy away from the essential and most lethal battles. Rhysand has his own legion but still had to go where his father or the general commanded him to go, there was no doubt in my mind that this gave him brutal battles. I had seen both of them a little over a year ago in a massive fight at the spring court. Another ring went through the camp, this time louder and more resonant, gaining the attention of all of us. The sounds stopped, no one was sharpening their blades, caring for their fighting leathers, eating, talking, even from the small training ring came no sound. The tension was palpable, who had died this time. Which one of us would have lost a family member or a close friend?   
I moved to the war-lords tent, he wasn’t a commander or even a commodore, just some low lord from a small camp at the western edge of the night court. His red syphon glowing faintly though he had not fought in almost a week sending us towards battles to listen to their officers. One of his captains was handing out some copies of the list, as the other hung one up near the tent for those that did not need a copy themselves. I bounced from foot to foot, to restless to a standstill, dread filling me as I got nearer to getting a list myself. It wasn’t just my brothers, Mor and even Amren that I looked for since meeting her I kept an eye out for Briar's name on every list. I shuddered at the memory of her electrocuting so many of the remaining loyalists. The confidence and power she exuded reminded me of Mor and Rhysand, she who sat with her men listing to their stories after every battle. Even when she was bone-tired, she still sat with each and every one of them. The only time she did not do it was when she was so hurt that even the healers got scared that she wouldn’t make it. As an Unclaimed, she got sent to the worst of the worst, massive all-out confrontations battles almost doomed to lose and rarely resting fully in between. Even Rhysands father, my high lord wasn’t so bad to send any of us on so many hard battles back to back. He preferred keeping us separate, only letting us see each other during the most challenging fights. Finally, I had a copy of the list in my hands, almost dashing back to my tent to read it in peace and privacy.   
Asteria, commander. My breath stopped, dread filled me as I came to the end of the list. Asteria Briars last name. She was gone, the incredible warrior rivalling me and my friends gone. The sadness felt all-consuming as my thoughts raced, Briar wasn't commander, right? I thought she was a commodore the last time I saw her clashing with a Vallahan commander. The commander wanted to split her squad up along his entire army, leaving her alone on the frontline claiming that his men needed the extra help. I smiled fondly as I remember her flipping him off telling him that if his men were true warriors, they would be fine and that they would remain in their usual formations with her captains and leaders with their troupes scattered throughout. My thoughts were interrupted by a horn, calling us to the war-lords tent. I couldn't dwell on the idea that Briar might have died on some battlefield fighting to at the frontline, I couldn't mourn for her just yet. All of us lined up as expected of footsoldiers. ''Men, Tomorrow we fly, the loyalists are moving eastwards from the black sands, Xian and Rask are among them. Commander of the Unclaimed on the front lines has called for aid. Understood'' the warlord bellowed.  
The following day all of us were ready before the sun began to rise, dressed and fully armed, we would leave the camp be for now as our warlord wanted to return. We flew to the west the journey taking up a few days until we finally saw the war camp on the horizon. It seemed like we could get at least a nights rest and possibly some food before the battle truly began. As we flew closer, I spotted something odd. Little mounds of rocks and dirt were scattered around at the back of the camp. In front of it was a massive field, banners, pieces of armours and soldiers littles the ground. As if they had been fighting already, I felt my anger rising, he sent us out to late again. As we landed, some human soldier met up with us, directing to where we could set up shop, and indicated us to the makeshift mess hall.  
I spotted a familiar-looking unclaimed in the distance, what's his name again, he was an elemental right? I swear I spoke to him before, something with a B, Barend no, Blight hmm no. Blake that’s it. Unfortunately, he was already gone before I could yell out for him. ‘’Oi, Cassian’’ another Illyrian shouted, ‘’what’’ I said turning to him. He looked at bit scared at my anger. I was irritated, I had found out a friend had died but was given no time to mourn. ‘’We are going to grab some food’’ He said not really inviting me to join, but I walked after them anyway. They still hated me for being as powerful as I was while being a bastard and friend with the high lord son and shadowsinger, but they were grateful for being in the same regiment as I.   
‘’I don’t care that your men just flew for a few days straight, I sent the request two weeks ago when my spies returned’’ A female voice yelled from the war-tent. It sounded so familiar, like Briars. I shook my head, no she died, I reminded myself. ‘’I will not be commanded by some Female’’ another familiar war-lords voice sounded, Devlon. ‘’Well get used to it, when you are on the frontlines you listen to me’’ the female voice said again, ‘’My uncle died defending you territories in Prythian, leaving me in his position’’.Now get out of my tent before I blast you out, you have your positions there is no arguing with me. The decision is made, and final. You don’t see any of the other commanding officers of the respective people fighting me about it’’ she snapped at the two Illyrians before her. They grumbled and left towards the mess hall, as Devlon and my warlord left I saw the current commander. ‘’Briar’’ I breathed, as she noticed me standing there. A grin spread on her face, though it was red due to her anger. She was wearing her usual armour after I had helped reinforce it for her the Illyrian way, her hair in her standard Vallahan braid tight but intricate. ‘’You’re here’’ I said shocked to see her alive, ‘’I thought you died, I saw your last name on the lists’’. I had walked towards her as the other officers were leaving her tent. ‘’It was my uncle, he died and named me commander in his stead, I had been acting commander for the past month’’ she explained, ‘’I hadn’t seen him in six years yet as he got fatally wounded he named me as his successor. I won’t go back to Prythian to resume at his front, they need me more here’’. The look in her eyes said enough, it hurt her to leave Prythian without its commander, but the Unclaimed were scattered anyway. ‘’Prythian will be alright, most of Hyberns forces are here nevertheless, and the most brutal battles are here’’ I said trying to comfort her. She nodded understanding.   
Briar’s POV  
I couldn’t be happier to actually talk to Cassian, yes we had spent some time on the same battlefields, but we hadn’t really spoken in two years. We talked well into the night, about all that happened these past two years, the comrades we lost, the times he had seen his family and my time on the frontlines. But the next fight loomed over our heads, as we separated to get some rest before tomorrow. I had told him of the mounts that I had Blake and Neroli built. They housed some of the look-outs, mainly archers who preferred sharpshooting over the volley released at the beginning of each battle. They were a mix of peoples and species from some bolder humans to lesser fae of the courts. I laid awake that night, my body resting, but my mind racing as it always did before a lost battle. I know I shouldn’t think that way, losing hope would only result in the unnecessary loss of lives. I couldn’t help it, I was barely in my forties, yet I had to lead the allied forces on the frontlines. I was lucky that the Vallahan officers supported my decisions, as they did so most of the others reluctantly followed me as well. The only ones that really gave me a lot of trouble were the humans and the Illyrians, as their cultures did not really allow females on the battlefield.  
At some point during the night, I had fallen asleep only to be awakened by Neroli, ‘’It’s time was all he said. And as I dressed for the coming fight, I had a feeling of dread, it was going to be a difficult one. I had been gathering my energy, now that I was the highest-ranking officer at this place, as our general had been killed a few weeks back, I was one of the fae bombarding the other sides shields. Stepping outside of my tent, the tension was once again palpable in the air. The daily sounds of the soldiers in the mess hall, those caring for their weapons or armour or whatever they are doing right before a battle filled the air. As if the entire camp could feel that today was going to be hard. In front of me were my captains, who solemnly nodded in respect. The two newly appointed commodores, Sander a fire elemental and Trip a driad stepped forward. ‘’You know your places, may we see another sunset and rise, Sander light the fires we advance at once’’ I commanded, they broke off to their troupes to take up their positions. And as the large fires lit up, all sounds stopped around the camp. They knew I did not sound an alarm nothing that could alert the enemy that we were making our advance, they would see that soon enough. This just gave us a bit more time for our lines.  
Moments later, I stood atop a small hill made by one of my earth faes. As the army marched forward just beyond the mounts littering the field. ‘’Ready the archers’’ I bellowed, hearing it echo throughout the mass of soldiers. It almost looked like a sea, so many soldiers though so many different colours mixed throughout an entire mixed front. We heard the drums; first, Hybern likes to use them to instil fear, and I could almost feel the shudder going through my men. That’s when a sea of black flooded the other side of the plane, some Rask and Montesere banners could be spotted. Fortunately, no Black sands soldiers today. I sent out the first thunder balls, along with mist, to give cover to the army below. Soon more attacks came from the commanding officers as we bombarded their shield. They repaid it with their own attacks. I kept sending out mist as the warm dark ground kept pushing it up as thunder clouds started to form at the edge of their shield. If I played the cards right a few of the wind wraiths or fae could ban together and create small tornadoes with a flick of their wrist. I had instructed our aerial forces to stay grounded until after the electrical release. Creating a superstorm was too time-consuming, but my powers would do the trick.   
I am a Natural Disaster walking after all.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
I bolted up breathing heavily—pain searing through my back, along the scratch-made by those Naga. ‘’Briar’’ a smooth voice said from the door, a shadow snaking around my ankle. I looked up, flinching back in surprise. ‘’Az’’ my voice sounded hoarse. ‘’May I’’ he asked, referring to coming into my room. I nodded hesitantly as he moved to kneel next to me on the floor. I had somehow ended up on the ground, as I had twisted and turned during my nightmare. I shrunk into myself; he was too close too soon. Azriel halted and scooted back.  
‘’I’m sorry that I woke you’’ I whispered. He just looked at me, his features softer than I had seen before. ‘’It’s nothing, I heard a thud’’ he said in a low voice. I was still panicking, but slowly but surely my breathing evened out. Azriel moved his shadows soothingly along my bare legs, focussing on the rhythmic movements helped calm me down. He slowly reached out his hand to help me up. I took it for once, not taking as long in my hesitation. It scared me out of my mind, becoming so comfortable with him. I pulled back the moment I was up on my bed, getting to work on detangling my sheets. ‘’If you want to talk about it, I am here’’ he said. I cringed, thinking back to the darkness from which I had awoken. ‘’I was back in a cell’’ my own voice surprising me. It was raw, and I sounded more broken than I liked. I was so shocked that those words fell so quickly out of my mouth. I closed is as soon as I let the words fall, Azriel saw it.  
No doubt seeing my shock. If it were anyone else so I would not have done it. Azriel felt safe, and I just gravitated towards him, I felt as if I could trust him with anything. ‘’it’s okay if you can’t tell me what happened to you, but I know what it is like’’ he said. I looked at him, shocked letting the sheet fall from my hands. ‘’Az, you d-do’’ I stuttered, but he interrupted me before I could finish the sentence. ‘’I want to tell you, at least a part of it for now’’ He said, ‘’I trust you, just all of it might be a bit much’’. I nodded, and in my heart, I knew someday we would talk about everything.   
‘’I was born a bastard son to an Illyrian lord, my mom was a beautiful woman, but her ranking was lower than low. The first eleven years of my life, I was kept in a cell bellow my father’s house, as my half-brothers and step-mother made my life a living hell. They did not let me fly or train. I was only let out for an hour a day to eat, do chores, and see my mom once a week. Being in the dark cell for so long, without any light or windows, the shadows became my friends’’ He told me. ‘’I was eleven when they finally let me out only to dump me at Windhaven where I met Rhysand and Cassian, I guess you know the story from there on.’’ I nodded at this, Cassian had once told me the story of how he had met his brothers, and I caught the tail end of that story last night. When I looked at him, I didn’t see sadness, or rage as I was expecting. His face had fallen in his usual blank slate, yet his eyes surprised me he almost looked content. I had gotten a new understanding for the male before me, his past was horrible, just like most of the inner circle, yet he looked to be at peace with it. ‘’Thank you’’ I whispered, smiling a little at him, he could truly understand the fear that came with being in a cold and dark cell. We stared at each other for quite a while, just enjoying the comfortable silence. He was handsome, more than that, even, surrounded by so much mystery. I felt a faint flutter in my chest for a second, but it was barely noticeable. I must have imagined it. I had to pull back, this peace it cannot last. I felt so guilty, I shouldn’t be doing this to him, Azriel deserves so much more. I just could not help my self, and it terrified me.   
I tried to stifle a yawn not wanting to ruin the moment, but after a month of hunting down my people, I was exhausted. Azriel noticed and chuckled, ‘’get some more sleep if you need my I am just two doors over’’. He got up, and I got the urge to call out to him, to make him stay, but another yawn showed that I was in no right mind nor had the energy to do so. As I slipped into a deep sleep surrounded by darkness, with a faint smile on my face.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
Azriel's POV  
Cassian, Mor and I were in the sitting room of the townhouse. ‘’Amren is right, you really are like dogs’’ Rhysand said as he took in our positions. From my place near the window, I saw Cassian give him a rude gesture as per usual. ‘’How did it go’’ Mor asked her cousin, who responded ‘’As was expected the bone carver can be helpful at times and it seems we have to do what we do best.’’ I tried to pay close attention to Rhysands recounting of the encounter and the next steps. ‘’I will contact my spies in the summer court, see what they can find out about the fae half of the Book of Breathings’’ I said. ‘’No need, I do not want anyone to know about it outside this rooms, aside from Amren’’ Rhysand said. ‘’They are trustworthy’’ I defended my shadows who slightly encompassed me before becoming thicker as to protect me. ‘’We will not take any risks’’ Rhysand said with a sharp look, trying to convey that it was not a reflection on my part. I just couldn’t help it, I took these types of things serious. The conversation moved to Hybern’s recent actions, including the temple in Ceserre, already infiltrating into our own lands undetected. I was mulling over how it could happen. ‘’I plan to return the favour’’ Rhysand said, ‘’It will require careful planning, but as the cauldron is in Hybern we need to go there to steal it back or to nullify it in the palace’’. ‘’Hybern probably has many powerful wards protecting not just his palace but the cauldron as well, we first need to be able to get past them undetected’’ I said already thinking about how I was going to do it. Rhysand nodded saying ‘’which is why we start now while we hunt for the book’’. As Rhysand moved on talking about a test Mor gave me a pointed look to not volunteer, which I returned with a look that hopefully conveyed my doubt. I was still thinking about what to do infiltrating Hybern when it dawned on me Rhys was sending Feyre to the weaver and I cursed.   
Hybern, Briar had spent ages there, maybe I could ask her. I banished those thoughts the moment they entered, I could not do that to her not the way she looked at me last night. I could feel my shadows get thicker as I thought about last night. I had awoken by a thud, a small shadow I had posted near Briar to keep her safe had come back informing me that she had a nightmare. As I opened her door, she sat on the floor, a haunted and terrified look on her face. I felt a pang of pain when I looked at her so scared, almost hyperventilating from the nightmare she had. She did not flinch away from my shadows, as I tried to comfort her the only way I knew she allowed. I knelt next to Briar, but she jerked away, it hurt me more than I would like to admit. I love Mor, right? It surprised me when she actually told me the subject of her nightmare and her worry when I began telling my story was endearing. There was something I just gravitated towards her, I just hope she will tell me her story at some point. And then this morning when I walked into the training ring. Briar looked incredible, her death dance was one of the most beautiful I had seen it rivalled Cass’. ‘’Az, you okay’’ Mor asked giving me a worried smile, cauldron she was lovely. ‘’Yeah, just thinking about Hyberm and what to do about it.’’ As the meeting was over, we all left to do our tasks.   
Briar’s POV  
I woke up at dawn again, as I put on some training clothes, I ran to the training area. I decided I had to start using my powers again, seeing that wind was one I used most I started with that. Creating tall, but thin tornadoes letting them bounce around the area as I took out twin swords. Weaving in between the tornadoes, parrying, sweeping and dodging. I had fallen into a rhythm almost, the opponents were unpredictable, and I had to be aware at all times. Striking one on my right as I swirled around to dodge one coming from the back. I needed to work on my light footedness, I was almost too late on blocking on on my left. I swivelled around again, blocking a blow meant for the back of my head. Swiping down with my left arm to strike were an ankle would be. Moving onto the next I kept dodging any tornado coming my way. I just tried to stay away from them for a bit, before striking each and over one of them. I spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon working on all aspects of my fighting. I knew that by the time I had stopped Rhysand and Feyre must have been back from their trip to the prison. I tried not to think about it too much, I knew this was something between the members of the night court, and I do not belong.   
‘’I really need to find a place for myself’’ I thought out loud as I sat in the courtyard overlooking Velaris. ‘’You really don’t’’ A voice sounded behind me. I jumped at the sudden sound. Mor was walking towards me, ‘’I didn’t mean to scare you’’. ‘’It’s nothing, I just jump easily’’ I said, ‘’it’s a defence mechanism I think’’. She nodded to the chair beside me, ‘’May I’’. ‘’Of course’’ I said, ‘’I love looking at the city, I didn’t think something this peaceful and beautiful still existed in the world.’’ ‘’Yeah we all would give our lives to protect it, it’s why Rhys’’ Her voice broke, I looked at her sympathetically. ‘’I know, I saw a lot of it’’ I said, trying to keep calm. I hadn’t really thought about Under the Mountain much, it was nothing different from the 450 or so years before. But it still was horrible, mor must have seen my reaction. ‘’You know what, we need to go shopping, and I will show you the city’’ Mor said a broad grin replacing her somewhat dejected look as she called out to Cassian. ‘’We need to get down to Velaris’’ Mor said as he walked up to us. ‘’I can only take one of you down at a time’’ Cassian answered, looking at her. ‘’Az, come here for a minute’’ He called out, and within minutes the Shadowsinger appeared. ‘’Az can you fly Briar down’’ Mor asked with a smirk on her face, Azriel just smiled softly at her before walking up to me.  
I stumbled back a bit, I can’t, someone a male touching. The males from under the mountain flashed before me, reaching out to me as Azriel was doing. My heart started to race, and I heard a faint Shit. ‘’Bri, shh it's us no ones going to hurt you’’ someone tried to shush me. I felt a slight movement, a little touch as if a small breeze snaked around my leg. Focussing on the contact, I started to calm down a bit. ‘’I’m so sorry, it's pathetic’’ I forced out once I was calm enough. Mor and Cassian were nowhere to be seen, I was alone with Azriel. He sat a metre away from me, somehow I had fallen on to the ground and missed it.  
‘’Hey, look at me’’ He said and as we locked gazes, ‘’Never, say it's pathetic or that you’re sorry, it is okay’’. I still felt ashamed and tried to look away, but I couldn’t. ‘’Come on, I will fly you down, Mor is waiting for you’’ He said extending a hand for me to take when I was ready. I nodded and took his hand hesitantly. I kept reminding me this is Azriel, He is safe I am safe. He looked at me, asking me whether it was okay to lift me up. I nodded before I could change my mind, I still jumped a bit as he lifted me. He looked at me again with worry, I shook my head, trying to convey that he didn’t hurt me. I guess he understood because the next this he did was launching into the air and flying down to the townhouse.   
As Azriel said, Mor was waiting for me down below, smiling sadly at me as we approached. Azriel touched down gently or at least softer than Cassian did back when he took me flying. That was wartime though, any doubts about the gentle touch down being normal vanished as I saw Mor's look of pure joy. I almost didn’t want to get out of his arms, the moment the thought crossed my mind I had to get out, it terrified me. Azriel set me down, looking down at me to see if I was okay. I barely reached his shoulder, but I gave him a tight smile showing I was okay. Azriel nodded and said ‘’have fun’’ before melting into the shadows to do his job. ‘’Are you sure you’re okay?’’ Mor asked, ‘’I’m fine, really its nothing’’ I said. ‘’It’s clearly not nothing, but if you ever want to talk about it I am here, Az, Cassian, all of us’’ She said as we started walking towards the Palace of thread and jewels. ‘’Thank you’’ I said, ‘’all of you have been the best’’. Mor beamed as she pulled me along for a full afternoon of shopping and eating at one of Mor’s favourite restaurants.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
The windswept around me lifting up the snow that laid on the mountain ground, sitting so high up, I should be able to see far and wide. Clouds had started to gather at my magic, creating a snowstorm in the valley below. I had made sure this part of the steppes was unpopulated as I let my powers go, creating a genuinely terrifying storm. The spark of powers had been growing steadily since I had started to really train them, slowly but surely the last remains of the fae bane left my system. It had taken me almost three months to even get a spark. But now a month after I winnowed into the dinner with Feyre, I had gotten half of it back. Last week the spark increased exponentially, and I was confident that I could get it all back before Hybern really attacked. I sensed something behind me, and I blocked a blow meant for the back of my head. As my concentration shifted to the person behind me, the storm worsened a bit dropping all the snow before disappearing.   
‘’Shit’’ I cursed, disappointed that I could not hold onto the storm. ‘’Bri, really you run off to train, and I find you here half-frozen’’ Cassian said, a slight grin on his face. He had a sword aimed to slice me in half, as I blocked it from below with one of my borrowed blades. He wasn’t really mad at me, just annoyed. I shrugged knowing that whatever I would say was going to annoy him more. ‘’it’s not that bad’’ I said as an involuntary shiver ran down my back. Cassian cocked his brow his grin widening as if to say, really now. ‘’Now what are you doing here, I told Rhysand I would be back’’ I asked him suspicious of why he was here. Cassian looked at me holding up his hand, ‘’Rhysand invites you to dinner with all of us’’ He looked at me to gauge my reaction. I stepped back, lowering the sword, shaking my head, I shouldn’t.  
‘’We all want you to join, especially Azriel and Feyre, you won’t be intruding on anything’’ he said. ‘’You really read me much too well’’ I said, Cassian just laughed knowing how much it used to annoy me. ‘’Come on let’s go back I will get you up to speed’’ he said reaching out a hand. ‘’Fine’’ I said moving into the air. ‘’After you left, Rhysand tested Feyre’s powers by going to the weaver, you should have seen her when they got back.’’ He began, and I grimaced knowing what the weaver was like having met her before with Amarantha. The cottage with a thatched roof made of hair and grease, it still made me queasy thinking about it. ‘’She shouted at him for that’’ ‘’Duh, wouldn’t you’’ I countered. He gave a laugh flapping his wings to catch up with me. ‘’Yesterday we got back from the human world, Rhysand decided that it would be best to start with their part as we wait for the summer courts reaction. We met Feyre’s sisters, Elain is lovely but engaged to a fae hating lord’s son and Nesta’’ He fell silent. I looked at him curiously Cassian doesn’t fall silent easily. ‘’Let’s say Nesta is hard-headed, stubborn, and so much more, I just can’t help but think how could they let Feyre go into those woods’’ he continued. I nodded, having heard Feyre’s story during our time Under the Mountain. ‘’We sent a letter to the human queens for them to meet at the family estate, now we wait. The only other thing which was really exciting was that the attor had shown up, Azriel had sensed it, but Rhysand decided to lure it to us. Feyre gave him shit for using her as bait, they really are equals’’ he said leaving me to catch up.   
I had faltered at the mention of the Attor, the disgusting face flashing in front of me. I had enough run-ins with him and his kind over the years, they used to be one of us, but they always allied with the evil in the world. I didn’t regard them as my own, but they were in a way. ‘’You don’t have to worry about him, Azriel took care of him in the court of nightmares’’ Cassian offered, trying to reassure me. I nodded silently as we resumed our flight to Velaris.   
Later that night, after Mor had dragged me off to get dressed, the seven of us were walking along the river. I still felt a little out of place amongst them, they were all members of the night court, but I wasn’t. I didn’t belong anywhere. The city was truly alive at night, all around us music sounded, the clanking of glasses or cutlery against plates, and the thrumming of the vendors and their patrons. The group entered a small two-story building, one of the Inner Circles favourite restaurants, yet I hesitated for a moment. Feyre shot me an encouraging look, she also felt a bit out of place but was finding her place more and more within the group. The owner, a slim female, kissed the Inner circle on their cheeks in greeting, well except for Amren. Not that I blame her, Amren radiated a terrifying ancient power, the owner bowed before her. She went to the kitchen, urging us to sit down on the table that they had set-up for us. We were half inside, half outside but the evening chill of the late winter and Sidra could not be felt. Not long after we had sat down, plates with food poured out and waiters poured our drinks. All of them conversed casually as we ate our food, Feyre and I, on the other hand, were the quiet observers. Even Azriel threw in remarks here and there. The owner went to stand behind Feyre to talk to Rhysand about the rumours they had heard. I flinched a bit when she mentioned the threat of Hybern but quickly hid it. I didn’t think anyone noticed, but I spotted Azriel looking at me. ‘’The food really makes me feel awake’’ Feyre complimented the cooking, which really was phenomenal. ‘’Then I will bring you a special dessert’’ the owner said, walking into the kitchen to get something for Amren as well. I zoned out for a bit just enjoying the night.   
‘’Briar, if you don’t mind me asking but what court do you belong to’’ Feyre asked me as we enjoyed our dessert. ‘’I don’t belong to any court’’ I said popping a bite of the cake into my mouth. ‘’What do you mean, doesn’t every fae lesser and high have a court?’’ she asked. Cassian coughed, knowing it was a somewhat sensitive subject for me, but I shook my head she had the right to know. ‘’Not really, most do in fact almost every species of fae lesser or otherwise have a court or a kingdom that they call home’’ I began, ‘’It’s a bit of a long story, my people have three types you could say. You remember the Naga Right?’’ She nodded, and I continued ‘’Well, Naga is a nomadic species travelling in groups up to 50 they might be born of the evils of the night, but they do not belong to the night court if they did they would have to listen to Rhysand. But as a migratory species, they have a lot more freedoms, unfortunately. They aren’t the only ones that prefer the freedom associated with a nomadic existence and not all species that do are evil.’’  
I stopped for a moment looking around the table, out of all of them only Cassian truly knew what my people were, and what I was. He nodded encouragingly. ‘’Those species are one side of my people, then you have those that just feel like outsiders. They are the half-breeds, bastard, or anyone with a speciality to them. Those faes often feel alone, and my ancestors found that it was better to band together. That all who feel lost or like outsiders can discover peace and family with others like them. And lastly, you have those responsible for nature, other processes or just the species that don’t belong to one court. None of us really belong anywhere’’ I shook my head not really wanting to speak about it anymore. Banishing the thoughts of not belonging anywhere from my mind. ‘’And where do you fit in?’’Amren asked bluntly.  
‘’A bit of all’’ I simply answered not wanting to reveal the rest. ‘’They are called the Unclaimed’’ Cassian responded for me, Azriel had not stopped looking at me since I started talking, Mor looked a bit shocked at the reveal of an Unclaimed at the table, and Rhysand just looked pleased with his cocky smile. ‘’Why are you all so shocked’’ Feyre asked confused. ‘’Because meeting an Unclaimed is rare, even more so now than before’’ Cassian once again answered. ‘’We aren’t really well-liked’’ I answered hoping they would stop. I was getting uncomfortable, it hurt to think about what had happened to my people over the years. I felt a shadow snake my ankle, Azriel looked at my the faint smile of the evening still on his face yet a saddest could be read in his eyes. Out of all of them, he could understand it the most. An uncomfortable silence fell onto the table, and I got the urge to leave; it was my fault after all. ‘’I want to go dancing’’ Mor proclaimed rubbing her full stomach. I say Feyre glance around not really wanting to.  
Azriel’s face was on Mor with his full attention. ‘’I’m in’’ he said. ‘’Of course, you are, don’t you have to be off at dawn’’ Cassian responded. Mor and Cassian both frowned, and I couldn’t help but mirror it, tomorrow he was leaving for the mortal lands to try and infiltrate the queen's palaces. ‘’We don’t have to’’ Mor said as we all walked outside. ‘’I want to’’ Azriel interrupted, and Mor asked Cassian ‘’Will you join us, or are you going to look at your muscles’’. ‘’I’m going, just drink though no dancing’’ he said smirking at her and looping his arm through hers. Amren had already disappeared towards the back of the restaurant. ‘’Wait, Bri you gotta come, Rita's is just down here’’ Cassian called to me. I nodded hesitantly knowing that there was no changing his mind and wanting to say goodbye to Azriel. I slowly walked up to the trio, ‘’are you sure’’ I asked them as I joined them. ‘’Of course, I promised you I would show you the city, and Rita’s is one of my favourite places’’ Mor said beaming at me. I just nodded following them silently as Mor and Cassian bicker. ‘’They are always like this, you might want to get used to it’’ Azriel said to me, ‘’How was training?’’ ‘’It went okay, at least I got some magic back, but no whisper of my old friends’’ I said. ‘’If you want I can have some spies listen for rumours’’ Azriel offered. ‘’No, I couldn’t ask that you need all of them to keep this city safe, for the upcoming war. I can’t’’ I sputtered objecting. ‘’I want to, I mean it they are already active anyway it’s nothing more than normal’’ he said. ‘’bu-‘’ ‘’No, I want to really, so no objections’’ He pressed. ‘’I- I don’t know what to say’’ I stammered, ‘’Thank you, so much.’’ Mor and Cassian were looking at us a smirk on their faces stopping in front of Rita’s. ‘’Allow me to show you one of the best spots’’ Mor said taking my hand leading me inside.   
Rita’s wasn’t huge, but it had an alive ambience. ‘’I’m going to get us a booth’’ Cassian yelled over the music, Azriel moved with him while Mor and I went to get drinks. ‘’Morrigan, your usual’’ A female bartender asked. Mor nodded and added ‘’Same for Cass and Az, and some wine for Briar here’’. The bartender nodded, moving to pour the drinks, as Mor was already looking around to see if she recognizes anyone. Once we had our drinks and the boys’ in hand, we went to our booth. Azriel nodded his thanks as I handed him his glass, sitting down next to him as Mor moved next to Cassian.  
‘’Mor’’ Someone called from the dancefloor, and her face lit up, jumping up to go dance with them. Leaving me with the two Illyrian warriors. Even though Cassian had said he wasn’t going to join the dancing, he did it anyway. As Azriel left to the restroom a male came up to me, he had a greyish skin, but little other tells on his species. ‘’Hello, beauty’’ he drawled sliding in next to me. I scooted further away, not wanting to be touched by this stranger. ‘’Oh don’t do that’’ he said reaching to grab my hand, ‘’come here please’’. He started to scoot closer and lay an arm across my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I began to pull away, anxiety rising as he put his other hand on my thigh. I felt a shadow snake up my arm, Azriel, my breathing becoming laboured, my mind spinning and my hands beginning to tremble, as the male kept touching my moving his right hand up and his left crossing my chest breathing in my scent. ‘’You smell heavenly’’ he complemented either oblivious to my panic and pulling or actively ignoring it. ‘’Hey’’ someone shouted pulling me out of the male’s arms.  
Shadows immediately enclosed me, as I heard the male yell out in pain. ‘’ Don’t ever touch someone without their okay’’ Cassian yelled as he punched the male, Azriel lifted my up and out of Rita’s noticing that I was not calming down. The cold air hit me, shocking me a bit but not enough to pull me out of the panic. I was now full-on hyperventilating, lost in my thoughts. ‘’Bri, please’’ a muffled voice sounded. I was faintly aware of the soothing touch of shadows. I slowly started to calm down again, my breathing evening out as exhaustion hit me. I was still in someone's arms, as I looked up in hazel eyes, Azriel. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ I said ashamed and frustrated with my own memories. He shook his head and asked ‘’Is it okay if I fly you home’’. Cassian was standing next to us, worry on his face, knuckles bloody. I nodded as I yawned it had taken all my energy. Azriel stood up, adjusting me in his arms. ‘’Good night Cass’’ I said before Azriel took off. I fell asleep sometime during the short flight to the house of the wind.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 *Flashback*  
A/N before reading I want to put in a warning, this is a flashback from her time as a prisoner of war. Do not worry I will have some more war memories, at least one maybe more lined later on. During her time in Hybern, she was tortured, and this will contain RAPE so be warned. I am in no way glorifying it, it is horrible, and I disagree with anything non-consensual; it is awful, and no one should go through it. Nonetheless, it is part of Briar's past.   
The following chapter is a dream Briar has, caused by the events of the last chapter. So if you skip you’re only missing the actual flashback, I will be mentioning the event next chapter but only in passing so skipping is okay.   
49.5 years ago.  
I woke up once again switching from the warm illusion to the harsh reality of my capture in the cold and wet cell. The twins, Brannagh and Dagdan loved to play with my mind, they enjoyed trying to break, but I wouldn’t give in, never. Not if it meant protecting my friends, my people. ‘’Rise and shine, love’’ Dagdan’s voice sounded through the cell. I tried to fight the urge to shrink back, could not and would not show it. ‘’Get her up’’ he ordered his personal guards who roughly yanked me up. I was bruised all over, possibly had a broken rib or two, and blood had dried on my face and clothes after the last time. I had no energy to walk on my own, so the two guards dragged me between them. As we moved through the bone-white halls, I had long ago lost hope that I would someday recognize the way. I wouldn’t be able to escape anyway, so keeping track of the course was of no use. At some point we had entered the halls of the noble, here most of the nobles had their guest rooms. No, no, please, not again. I wanted to plead, and I knew Dagdan had read my mind from his smirk. The king was seen at the end of the hall his smirk so large I knew it there and then. He had sold me again. ‘’Here push her in’’ Dagan said. I was pushed in the room, stumbling and falling onto the floor. No, No, Please, Don’t do this, Noo   
In front of me stood a male, his skin was sickly pale just like all people here on this island. He somewhat resembled the twins, like a distant relative would—no doubt most if not all nobles here were related somehow. He wasn’t a daemati or else he would have slipped into my mind already to make me get up and do it all for him. He had pulled me up only for me to be tied to the bed on all fours. ‘’Look at you, so pretty, spread so wide’’ He drawled, hitting my blue back with a cane. I held in my pained sounds, not wanting to give him any satisfaction. ‘’Now, now dear, I want to hear you’’ he hit me again this time my butt, ‘’You’ll sound magnificent’’. I heard him pull off his clothes, he now stood in front of me naked, his length hardening not yet at full attention. He had his belt in his hand, the tip laid in with some kind of metal, most likely brass or copper. ‘’Now, show me what you can do, the king did promise me pleasure and lots of it. Until I am satisfied of course’’. I started to shake at the mention of the king, he made me serve him once a year, he was the vilest of all. He hit my back with the belt when I did not immediately take him into my mouth.   
I cried out, no longer being able to handle it and he thrust into my mouth all the way. I gagged around him as he moved back. ‘’I said Show, Me, What, You, Can, Do’’ He ordered hitting me again. I complied sucking lightly as I liked the underside of his cock, he was moving in and out faster. I traced my teeth along the top vein as he shuddered in response. He was groaning loudly, ‘’Yeah’’ he called ‘’Fuck’’. He was getting closer, I increased the pressure around him, licking the tip every time I got knowing it would be over sooner that way, sucking harder and always keeping contact. He once again buried himself to the hilt into my mouth, hitting me several times as if I was a horse to be spurred on by a whip. ‘’You better take all of it’’ He commanded breathlessly right before he came with a cry. He released when he wasn’t all the way back, and I could not swallow it quick enough. A small trickle escaped, but he noticed nonetheless. His sickly pale face turned red as his rage grew. He pulled back and got his cane. My cries probably reached the king himself in the throne room as he beat my back until bleeding. The male relished in my screams of pain as I sobbed, not knowing when the end came. ‘’I told you to swallow all, you made my angry you let my precious seed flow onto my sheets’’ He said as if it would be soothing or an excuse for what he did. He was once again at attention, after releasing once more during the backlashing. This time he thrust into me, no lubricants or anything, just straight up. He fucked me raw several times during that night. All I felt was pain as he satisfied himself. Even as I was bleeding, when he pulled back my head so I couldn’t breathe or when I almost passed out, he kept going. When he finally let me down, he had his manservant throw me outside.  
My clothes had been shredded sometime during that long night as he kept using me for his own satisfaction. As I laid against the pale stone, my blood reddening it. I did not care for the cold seeping into my bones or the fact I was nude. That’s is when the Attor came, this particular one had sworn allegiance to Amarantha the red-headed commander who delighted in my pain as well. He stole me away that night, all the way to Prythian where Amarantha reigned Under the Mountain. I didn’t care, I just wanted it all to be over, and one day it would be. It was only another cell, a different location to undergo the same torture. I did not blackout until I was thrown onto the dirty floor of my new cell.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
I bolted up, ‘’No’’, gasping for air. It had been a while since I really had a memory dream about my time in Hybern. The advances of the male from last night had triggered a bad memory. I felt dirty, and all but dashed to the bathroom. I emptied my stomach, the terror I felt from memory still rushing through me. I had been so numb at the time, reacting the way they had wanted me to. Showing my pain but trying not to give them the satisfaction of breaking me, doing what I had to do to survive. Even when the males of sometimes females used me after buying the night off of the king, serving to stay alive.   
Dawn had started outside, and I could not sit still. I needed to move, needed to know that I was in control. Dressing in some fighting leathers, I ran to the training ring. It felt so good to have a weapon in my hand again, as I took a wooden bo staff. Adrenaline was still coursing through my body, realing with anxiety. I needed to get rid of all the energy before my mind consumed me, and I would be spiralling down in the darkness. I went to the back ring, faintly remembering that Feyre was going to be training with Cassian in about an hour.  
Setting up some wind hoses and tiny tornadoes to bounce around the ring. This way of training was one of my favourites for getting rid of energy. I started to dodge between them, keeping on my toes as I swivelled to the left only to be driven to a corner. Vaulting over them and swirling to the right. Never standing still, I kept avoiding them, trying to keep from being cornered before I started to swipe at them as I had warmed up. I was in the middle of the ring, eyes closed, I lifted at them as they approached, Striking right, blocking a blow to the back and swiping the ground as I turned around. Once all tornadoes had dissipated, I was breathing a bit harder. Instead of stopping there, I began running laps to work on my stamina. I had some wind hoses moving around my path again. These past weeks I had gotten most of my stamina back, and I didn’t necessarily need to work on my movements, but it helped me immensely. By mid-morning, I had sufficiently worked on my stamina and decided to shower and eat before my actual weapons training.   
Some time ago, Cassian and Feyre had started training, as he was pointing out how to punch correctly, I walked up to them getting a drink. I had taken en break since this mornings cardio, for a quick shower and some food. ‘’Feyre, try to keep your core tight, and your feet firmly under your shoulders’’ I offered. ‘’I was getting to that’’ Cassian huffed, as Feyre nodded gratefully for my tips. ‘’Cass, I know you’’ I said,’’ You always forget the feet, he is so big knocking him off his stance is so hard it is natural to him’’. ‘’Oh come on your feet are nowhere near firm, you twinkle toes’’ he teased, ‘’I could blow at you and still push you over’’. ‘’oh you want to try’’ I said cocking an eyebrow. Feyre looked at me almost pleading for the training to be over. I gave her a smile ‘’nope not going to work, sorry Feyre, but you need it’’. ‘’You’re on once we are done here’’ Cassian said, ‘’now back we’re working on your core, it’s no use to punch without a proper stance’’. I once again walked to the back ring and noticed that Rhysand and Azriel had walked into the training area. I gave them a small wave before turning to the weapons rack. ‘’Hey,’’ Azriel said as he stopped next to me. Azriel had gotten back around lunchtime, way sooner than all of us had thought. The queens had some sort of ward around their palace so infiltrating it was difficult. ‘’Hi,’’ I mumbled, taking a one-handed sword and a long dagger. ‘’Thank you for last night’’ I said, ‘’I’m really sorry if I ruined it’’. ‘’You did nothing wrong, the male was in the wrong, but he won't do it again, Cassian and Mor made sure of that’’ he answered. I looked at him a bit shocked, they had done something for me after… ‘’You may not believe it just yet, but we care for you, and what that male did was not okay under no circumstances’’ He said a glimmer of anger and hate in his eyes. I flinched slightly at it even if it wasn’t directed to me. He was so serious about it, making it hard not to believe him. ‘’I’m still grateful for you getting me out there, it brought back some bad memories’’ I said, the words leaving my mouth before I realised they were. I knew the entire inner circle was aware of the horrors that prisoners go through especially Azriel, and probably had some idea how much worse Hybern is due to the actions during the war. ‘’Want to watch me beat Rhysand, he is so out of shape’’ Azriel asked noticing my discomfort on the subject. I smiled at him, thankful for the change of subject. ‘’Only if you watch me beat Cassian, once he and feyre are done training’’ I countered. He chuckled and cocked his brow at me. ‘’What I have beaten him before, though he would never admit, I might want to run some drill though before starting’’ I said, he nodded and walked towards Rhysand two swords in hand. He gave on of the practice swords to Rhysand who had been waiting while the two of us talked. Rhysand gave me a cocky smirk as if he knew something I did not, similar to his cousin, who always smiled widely when she saw Azriel and me together.   
They started clashing, coming together to strick and block before jumping back and coming together again. Feyre and Cassian were still working on her core when I walked to the last ring also, running two quick laps to get the blood flowing before getting in the middle. I started doing my drills, sword in my right hand and dagger in my left. Block right, thurst up with left, swirling left and striking with the blade before coming down with the sword. Vaulting back block with both, swiping my leg thrusting my sword up in the imaginary back. Blocking with my dagger to the left. Block, thrust, swirl, strike right, left, secure the back. And so on, I hadn’t noticed that the others had stopped until I heard Feyre say ‘’It should have been me’’. My heart clenched for her, and how Tamlin had treated her. She gave up everything, lost her family for that guy. Rhysand was already next to her comforting her. I walked up to them as Rhysand apologized for not being able to do more. ‘’So am I’’ I said to her, getting a glass of water from the pitcher and handing it to her. I did not want to interrupt there moment any more, so I decided to watch Cassian and Azriel clash. Their fight was a bit more brutal than the battle between Azriel and Rhysand, which really showed how out of shape Rhys indeed was. ‘’I’m surprised there aren’t more mirrors in the house, since you love looking at yourself so much’’ Feyre countered to Rhysand as they were talking about the possibility of her having a spark of his powers. Cassian turned away to hide his laugh, as Azriel had a coughing fit, I just chuckled smiling at how she was getting so much better. ‘’Don’t laugh too hard Cass, you are the exact same with your muscles’’ I called to him. He mocked hurt, ‘’you hurt me comm’’ he started before I interrupted. ‘’Do not call me that’’. Azriel looked at me curiously obviously wanting to know what Cassian was going to call me. I just wasn’t ready for him to know my rank, mostly when I wasn’t sure what it was at the moment after being gone so long.   
Then soft darkness exploded into the courtyard, Cassian cussed, and Azriel fell silent. I stumbled a bit wanting to get back, but someone steadied me. It was soft darkness, embodying the entire night court, but it was darkness nonetheless. As it lessened, I saw that Azriel had steadied me, keeping me upright. We all but jumped back, and I almost blushed. You idiot, what if my thoughts began before I could remind myself they were safe. As Feyre left to bath Cassian walked up to me ‘’Come on you promised me a fight’’. I nodded as Azriel and Rhysand took up one ring, and we positioned ourselves in the other. ‘’Single swords only’’ Cassian ordered, and I discarded the dagger. We each took our stances, which varied widely. My posture was broader and a bit lighter compared to his firm stance.  
I knew in raw power he could overpower me, but I was more light-footed and quicker, which made us evenly matched. ‘’No magic’’ I said, he nodded already concentrating. He went to strike first, trying to unbalance me. He aimed for my right side, though I could easily block it. The power he put behind it was quite a lot, almost knocking me over as I steeled my core. I smirked at him pushing his sword back and ducking under his next swipe to the right side. Striking his right angle before twirling around, blocking his blow. Jumping back to adjust my stance, moving my sword to the left hand and jumping forward to swipe at his stomach from the left. He was able to block but only just not expecting my sword to come from the left. As he pushed me back, he trusted at me, which I stopped. He did start to move me around, even though I kept my stance, my feet slipped back, and I was not able to use my magic to put my feet in the ground. I ducked and kicked my leg to try and trip him. It didn’t work, and I scowled disappointed, I really wanted to make him drop. He went to strike again, but I countered with a thrust of my own. Both of us jumped back and started circling each other, daring the other to make the first move, as always he was making faces smirking and cocking his eyebrows daring me. In the end, I made a fake move to the right but once again striking from the left. We began to clash again, blocking and striking in tandem to each other, neither of us overpowering the other. I was faintly aware that at this point, Azriel and Rhysand had stopped their fight and were watching us from the sideline.   
I dodged his thrust once again and twirled around him, hitting the back of his knees. But before I could beat his back, he had turned around and blocked the blow jumping back up and aiming for my stomach. I jumped forward a bit to properly stop the impact as if it was to the side and kicked him in the stomach. I was not about to play dirty and kick him in the crotch area, but I could have and would have in real life or death situation. He stumbled back slightly, grinning as he thought he saw an opening in my defence. One I left open on purpose, I usually had a second sword or a long dagger so playing as if I had forgotten to defend this side wasn’t that hard. I fell for my trap as he tried to disarm me; however, I was able to grab onto his arm and pulling him down by the neck in a sort of corkscrew move. He knew his mistake the moment he saw my grin. He swiped to try and get me off, but I blocked it quickly. He was able to push me off, but I had gotten my hands on his sword, not using it against him as he charged at me with just his fists. Blocking a blow to my head and striking his side, made him stumble back a bit. I sheathed one sword as he kicked my side, pushing me to the left side but not all the way to the ground. I caught his next blow and blocked a kick before discarding the other sword and pulling him to the ground. In one swift motion, I had unsheathed my sword and pointed it at his neck. ‘’I win’’ I said getting off of him, looking at our audience. Azriel and Rhysand looked shocked, and Cassian began the laugh hard. Almost falling onto the ground at his brothers look, I chuckled at the sight of them.   
‘’How’’ Azriel asked, ‘’A lot of training and knowing this guys behaviour even when he is the cold-hearted general’’ I answered. ‘’No way, you beat Cass’’ Mor squealed running up to us from her place, no doubt catching the last part of the fight. I nodded, smiling a bit sheepishly. ‘’We are pretty evenly matched, the big brute just had to get cocky and abuse a non-existing weakness’’ I said simply after gulping down a glass of water. ‘’You cheated’’ Cassian accused with a grin on his face, ‘’Na uh, I did not’’ I said, ‘’I just purposely left an opening that is not cheating’’. Cassian pouted and looked at his friends, who just laughed and shook their heads. ‘’You have to teach me how you do that’’ Mor gushed, I nodded. ‘’You do all need a shower so go’’ she ordered, ‘’I am not having dinner with a bunch of smelly brutes’’.   
I nodded, placing the sword and dagger back, before walking off the pitch. It felt perfect fighting with Cassian, just fighting in general and having a weapon did me a lot of good. It then that it dawned on me, I had touched a male, a friend but still a male, and talked to them as if it was normal. This all for the first time since I got here, yes I trained alone for the most part, and still felt I was intruding being in the high lords home. But there was an improvement I had interacted with them without thinking about it. It terrified me to no end, thinking back on it, but it also brought a smile to my face.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
Azriel’s POV   
Its been a couple of days since Rhysand, Amren and Feyre had left to the summer court to search for the book of Breathings. At the moment Mor and I were sitting in of the dining room of the townhouse waiting Cassian and possibly Briar. I doubt that she would feel comfortable; it is just us four after what happened at Rita’s. I should have never left her or at least gotten Mor or Cassian to watch her. If I had that male would not have approached her, he wouldn’t have touched her that way. I could feel my anger rising, just thinking about it, what she must have gone through running through her head. It happens to all of us from time to time, Rhysand suffers most with it being so recent, he thinks he hides it well but not from my shadows. Briar, just thinking about her past, made my blood boil, something I did not really understand, but it did. She looked so much more vulnerable in that male's arms, her eyes closed tight trying to pull away. As I pulled her out, Cassian noticed who dragged Mor along to beat the guy up while I got her out of there. She barely reacted to me picking her up, it sparked some hope that she had warmed up more, but when I got her outside, she didn’t even respond to the cold air. It hurt to see her so panicked, so pained lost in her mind. It took my shadows and a lot of time before she calmed down enough. Cassian stood next to me, worried out of his mind for the girl he saw as a sister once. She was so exhausted she barely reacted to the flying and was asleep before we even crossed the Sidra. Even in her sleep, she didn’t look peaceful, calmer maybe but still a little scared. I had watched over her to make sure she really was okay before I finally tore myself away from her.   
But then again, the next day during training, all that fear and panic was nowhere to be seen. She even touched Cassian during the fight without any visible trouble, nor anything I could sense. Her techniques were different from anything Illyrians were taught but her movements efficient and powerful. It is clear that before her capture, she had been training for a long time, and I don’t even know the extent of her magical abilities. She’s close, my shadows whispered right before Cassian walked in with a hesitant Briar walking behind him. ‘’Briar, come sit with me’’ Mor called to her motioning the place next to her. We had sat up everything for breakfast together with the twins. ‘’Now that everyone is here can we start eating’’ Cassian said looking at the food as prey.  
I chuckled as Mor nodded to him. Briar had gotten a bit of yoghurt, fruit and granola before a loud crash sounded from the foyer. ‘’What the hell’’ Cassian yelled out as he spilt his drink. Rhysand and an almost drowned Feyre and Amren stood there, as Rhysand stepped towards the breakfast he said ‘’I’m also waiting on explanation’’. Amren just turned to Feyre asking how, as she explained that she gave some gold to a water wraith for the thithe of the spring court whose sisters ended up saving them, I shook my head. It was indeed a mortal thing to do, but it ended up being so vital in their survival. I saw Briar looking her interest peaking intently at the mention of the water wraiths. That’s when the two of them started laughing, as so many do after almost dying. I must admit they did look funny like drowned cats. As Feyre approached and put down the book, we all cursed feeling the strange dark power. Briar jumped back not wanting to be anywhere near it, I understood completely when it began to speak. That hateful oily voice, refusing to open and speaking in riddles. Feyre worked her magic on it some more, Rhysand looking at her with worry in his eyes as the book kept up his secrets. Until it finally stopped and opened, exhausted Feyre slumped in her chair as Cassian remarked never wanting to hear the voice again.   
‘’What language is it?’’ Mor asked as Amren grasped the book. She stayed silent for a while, so I asked again’’ What is it?’’. ‘’It’s the Holy Tongue’’ Amren said, barely believing it herself. As Rhysand explained, he heard a rumour, it dawned on me then. The book might help her get home, after centuries in exile all alone she might finally go home. ‘’Thank you’’ Amren said. I noticed Briar moving towards the windows looking out, trying to be invisible, not wanting to intrude. One of my shadows curled around her wrist, hoping to comfort her. Mor sighed, complaining she wanted the full story, not some vague details. ‘’Even if we nullify the cauldron there is still Jurian, it just does not add up how does he stay loyal to Hybern’’ I said. ‘’Wait, Jurian is with Hybern’’ Briar said, a shocked look on her face. I nodded solemnly. ‘’I’d considered it, Jurian was obsessive with everything he did and left a lot unfinished’’ ‘’If he thinks Miryam is alive’’ Mor said paling slightly. ‘’I would bet on that he thinks she is gone, and Hybern has the ability to resurrect his former lover’’ Rhys continues. ‘’He might even want to get revenge on Drakon, for winning her heart’’ Cassian offered. Briar shook her head in disbelieve, ‘’he always did what was best for the humans, why would he do this’’ She asked. We all shook our heads not really knowing what to say. ‘’We will discuss this all later, there are some things long overdue’’ Rhysand said nodding to the two females.   
‘’Are you okay’’ I asked Briar as I approached her by the window. She nodded, looking out of the window. ‘’I just feel like I'm intruding’’ She said, ‘’it’s sometimes hard to wrap my head around being here’’. ‘’I understand, but you’re not intruding you may not be a night court member, but we trust you, I trust you’’ I started, ‘’I know how you feel, I never belonged with the Illyrians and even after so many years it can still be hard to feel I belong.’’ She looked at me, worry and pain in her eyes. ‘’I -I didn’t know’’ she stammered. ‘’You couldn’t have’’ I said. I didn’t know why I told it to her, but it felt right.   
The following days were uneventful, we all did our jobs. I did make an effort to train early just like Briar, we were often running our own drills right before dawn. With Cassian joining in a little later, to train Feyre at seven. This morning Rhysand walked onto the courtyard, in no way dressed for training. ‘’The queens have finally deigned to write back to us, we will be going to the estate tomorrow’’ He said, ‘’Briar I would like you to be there as well, the story of the unclaimed is a well-known one just like Mor’s title even among humans’’. She nodded, I could swear I felt some hesitance but only momentarily. ‘’Az I left some questions from them on your desk, be sure to send the answers soon, and Cass I want you to make sure the safety precautions are taken’’ Rhysand said delegating the tasks. We nodded and went to do our job, as Rhysand asked to stay behind to talk to Briar. I left, wanting to leave a shadow with Briar to make sure she was okay.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
Briar’s POV  
There we stood in the sitting room of Feyre’s families estate. All of us dressed fit for meeting the queens. Even though Cassian, Azriel and I wore clothes suitable for combat, them in their usual leathers and I in a ‘dress’. The dress was a dark blue with whitish-yellow accents, the longsleeved top with a high neck had some reinforced panels and the removable highlow skirt revealing combat legging. It was so close to my people’s clothes, it shocked me a bit when Rhysand gave it to me yesterday.   
Flashback to the conversation in the courtyard  
‘’Briar, can we talk for a moment’’ Rhysand asked as Cassian and Azriel walked off the field. I noted the glance Azriel gave me, a blush threatened to rise to my cheeks. The last few days, we had been training together in the mornings talking about mundane stuff, and I had gotten quite a bit closer to him. He seemed to really understand my apprehension to everything here and let me keep my distance. Cassian didn’t look back, but even we had gotten a bit closer, yes he won’t ever understand my space or the fact I felt as if I was intruding, but he respected it. He knew I could take care of myself and trusted Rhysand to not hurt me. I nodded, and we walked to a bench at the edge of the courtyard.  
‘’How have you been doing?’’ Rhysand asked, ‘’I’m fine, it’s sometimes hard to wrap my head around being here’’. ‘’I’m sorry I have not really been helping you’’ he apologised, but I waved it away. ‘’No need, you needed your own space, your mate needed you, and you’re the high lord for cauldron's sake, I am just some other Unclaimed, and I needed the time’’. ‘’I’m Unclaimed after all’’ I said hoping the sadness would stay out of my voice. ‘’You will always be welcome here, even without swearing allegiance to us’’ Rhysand said. I nodded, not believing him, it was just tough after so long of not having a home. ‘’I wanted to talk about tomorrow, I know that the war is much fresher for you than for us will you be okay?’’ ‘’I should be, or rather I will be.’’ He nodded at my answer, somewhat hesitant to ask something. ‘’What is it you want to ask for real’’ I said. ‘’I hope it won’t be necessary but if we need to can we reveal your rank in the Unclaimed armies’’ Rhysand asked. It surprised me a bit knowing he usually needed the element of surprise or something else for his schemes. ‘’Under one condition, I get to do it.’’ He nodded at the request, ‘’What rank did you end up with?’’ he asked. I smirked at him giving him his own medicine, ‘’You’ll just have to wait and see’’.   
The queens winnowing in shook me from my thoughts. ‘’Well met’’ Rhysand said, while we surveyed the queens. Each of them representing the people of their respective kingdom, though varying in age all of them looked spectacular. Azriel and Cassian stood at the far wall opposite to Rhysand and Feyre, as I was standing near the window. As Rhysand stepped forward, the queens braced themselves as their guards rested a hand on their hilts. The sword style hadn’t changed even after so long, and their ancestors fighting amongst us. ‘’Thank you for accepting our invitation, but where is the sixth queen’’ Rhysand asked. Mor, Rhysand and Feyre were going to talk, while Cassian, Azriel and I served as ‘guards’ or rather distractions. ‘’The sixth queen is sick, she was unable to make the journey’’ the eldest began, ‘’I assume this is your emissary’’. Feyre nodded saying ‘’Yes, I am Feyre’’. ‘’And you are the high lord who has been sending us letters, the last one being a fascinating one indeed’’ the queen nodded to Rhysand. He nodded and introduced Mor as The Morrigan, which got their attention especially the beautiful golden and black-clad queens. ‘’Please, sit’’ Mor said motioning to the table set-up with ample room for the guards.   
As they sat, the golden said ‘’I assume these are our hosts’’. Feyre clarified that it was her sisters. I tuned out the conversation until ‘’This territory is but a slip of land compared to the vastness of the continent, to defend it would be a waste of resources’’ the golden queen spoke. I was appaled by her statement, their ancestors would be rolling in their graves if they knew this. ‘’Surely the loss of even one innocent life would be abhorrent’’ Rhysand said. This time the eldest spoke, ‘’Yes the loss of innocent life is a horror, it always is, But this is war, and in war, lives are lost. We will sacrifice this territory if we must, to save the majority’’. ‘’There are good people here’’ Feyre said her voice a bit raw.  
‘’Then let the high fae of Pryhtian defend them’’ the golden queen parried. It was by this point that Nesta hissed horrified ‘’We have servants with families, children. You would leave us in the hands of the fae’’. ‘’It was no easy choice’’ the eldest defended calling Nesta girl. ‘’It’s the choice of cowards’’ Nesta snapped, Feyre stepped in before it could get any worse inquiring about the hate the humans had for the fae. I could feel my anger rising, I did not want to listen to these supposed queens any longer. Cassian's eyes were on me knowing of the humans I fought beside. ‘’Shouldn’t they though, defend us against the threat of their own making’’ The golden said. A snort sounded from her, ‘’shouldn’t fae blood be spilt for their crimes over the years’’. Rhysand gave me a pointed look as if to say not yet, as I was about to explode on them. How dare they, at least double the fae lives were lost in that war. Lost in my thoughts, I barely registered the rest of the conversation. Every snide comment and refusal to give up the book fuelling my anger. Not even what happened Under the Mountain was enough to sway them.’’ That’s enough’’ Mor snapped as the queens said that they would weather the storm.  
I stalked closer, standing next to her as she said it wasn’t a coincidence that another mortal had been made at the very moment a war could start. As she continued telling the tale of her experiences during the war, her voice cracked as she said ‘’You laugh at peace, a peace which we could have between our people’’. ‘’There is a place where fae and humans live together it is possible’’ she said, but before she could reveal more, I cut in. ‘’Just like the Morrigan beside me, I fought in the war’’ I began as Rhysand nodded to me grateful for the interception.   
‘’You do not recognize me, but you know my tale, I am General Asteria of the Unclaimed, commander of the disasters. I spent seven years at the front lines, and the humans I met and commanded were the bravest. They did what was right, what they had to do to save their families for a better future and here you are just throwing that away. Knowing that they were up against the worst of the worst, yet they still went into battle together with us. I may not have known the queens well, but they cared for each and every life, even the fae as we fought to keep them save to free them. They marched in to save their people from slavery, which will return if we do not act if we do not work together. If your ancestors knew what you are doing today, they would be rolling in their graves, you are a disgrace. And if you even start to think that no fae blood was spilt know this, for every human life lost or saved at least two fae lives where lost. I lost over half my forces getting your lands and people safe. The war cost me greatly; my innocence, family, friends, men, I even lost my own freedom to save the Highlord who stands before you today for a better tomorrow.’’ The shock was visible on their faces, as the history books say that I had been lost during the last battles. Even the Inner Circle looked at me, shocked. I had gone down in history as Commander Asteria, not general, even Cassian did not know I had gotten the promotion till today.  
I walked outside not wanting to look at their faces, only returning after the queens had winnowed away, saying that they would think about it. Cassian had walked out a bit later to inform me we would be going, I nodded lost in thought. The flight back was silent, and even once we were in the sitting room, we were quiet for a moment. ‘’It went well I take it’’ Amren said. I tuned out most of the conversation again, feeling a bit out of place as I sat on the windowsill. ‘’Sent word to your father, were going to the court of nightmares’’ Rhysand said to Mor. We needed to show proof that we could be trusted, the veritas was probably the only way. ‘’Briar, I want you to come as well’’ Rhysand said, ‘’Your presence might hold some sway of Keir’’. I nodded, remembering him and his darkbringers from the war. ‘’Okay, if no one is going to ask, I have to know’’ Cassian said, ‘’how the heck are you a general’’.   
I looked at him and then looked down ashamed I had not told him yet. Once again, a small shadow wrapped around my ankle up to my wrist in comfort. ‘’How indeed’’ Mor said. ‘’I was named general shortly before the end of the war, our previous general had fallen in a battle against the king. He was too reckless, I think he was only named general as his father was before him, but he almost survived the entire war. I got the news he had fallen a couple months before but wasn’t named officially until those final weeks. I got the command for a rescue mission shortly after being named general. I was caught, so only the Unclaimed knew of my position.’’ I said merely not wanting to reveal who I was rescuing that day. ‘’It’s not like any of the courts and kingdoms really cared for the Unclaimed, not even who led them’’ I said and started to walk away. Some looked at me with shock, though Azriel's eyes betrayed the pain he felt with my statement. ‘’I will be there tomorrow, wearing the same mask as I did during the war’’ I stated turning around in the doorpost. ‘’Shit’’ Cassian cursed knowing what I meant.   
Azriel’s POV. His thoughts on her reveal  
She was a general, not a commander or any other ranking officer, but a general. I couldn’t really believe it, after seeing her so scared and hurt especially in the beginning. I had listened intently when she scolded the queens, the hurt in her eyes mentioning her men and the people she fought next to. I knew she had seen battle, but all seven years on the frontlines, it shocked me. There is more to the story though my shadows whispered to me as such. Being on the front took a toll on everyone, I spent some time there by the side of the high lord in vital battles, Cassian and Rhysand spent more time there, and it showed in those first years. My heart clenched for her, what she had seen, and done, it must have been horrible. And now to learn that she was a general during those final, most brutal and bloody battles before she got captured. I let the shadow go with her as she left the room. My shadows had told me of the shame she felt, as she kept her distance, not wanting to interfere. It truly hurt me to see her like that, even without knowing the full story. ‘’Shit’’ Cassian had cursed, he was the only one of us that had seen her command her forces from close-by. I left to command my spies and to get ready for our visit to the Hewn City.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
The next day we had winnowed to the Steppes right near the mountain palace. Feyre was flying with Rhysand, who was tense, knowing the mask he was going to dawn today. Azriel and Cassian flanked them as I flew behind them using my wind. Something flew past Rhysand almost hitting me, as he veered. Cassian and Azriel have their shields up in an instant, reflecting the arrows, they were made of ash, and I cursed. We shot to the ground as the ash arrows continued to rain upon us. The three Illyrians landed hard, snow flying up due to the impact. I touched down mere seconds after. Rhysand ordered Cassian to take Feyre to the mountain palace, while Azriel and I would stay with him to hunt. ‘’No’’ Feyre objected, ‘’Take me with you, I can track just as well as any of you, and I have seen ash arrows before and if they are made by a different court I could feel it to’’. Azriel and Cassian had kept her mouth shut while Feyre reasoned with Rhysand. He had just crossed his arms and tucked in his wings. ‘’So you and Cassian take to the skies, while Briar, Az and I search the ground’’ she said, basically ordering us around. She truly is his mate, his perfect match. Even though his wrath was almost palpable, Rhysand remained calm ordering Cassian to prepare more patrols and eyes on the Hybern coast, and Azriel to warn his spies, getting them out, and putting new ones in place. ‘’Briar, inform your people that this is to be kept quiet’’ Rhysand said, and I nodded. ‘’There aren’t that many in here, but I will speak to the Dryad of this forest and mountain’’ I said. ‘’We’ve got an hour, make it count’’ Rhysand said spearing into the sky.   
I flew through the forest, looking for any more ash arrows or the tracks of the archers. While Azriel kept close to Feyre as we decided upon. One of Azriel's shadows had informed me that Mor had found them wanting an explanation of what was happening. After an hour without any tracks, not even the wind or Azriel’s shadows knowing anything. We had to gather in front of the Court of Nightmares. Feyre had changed quickly into the gossamer fabric ‘dress’ similar to what she had worn Under the Mountain. ‘’See you in ten minutes’’ Mor said willing her face into her mask, as she left Feyre into the mountain. Leaving me with the three Illyrians. I had also changed into my armour, similar to the scaly armour of the Illyrians. However, mine had larger panels and was dark blue in colour once again with the whitish-yellow lightning accents and a matching cloak. This armour had more embellishment, especially on the shoulders making it into an intimidating get-up. I also dropped the glamour I had kept on the scar of my face, it was pretty much the only glamour I always had on even when I had the faebane in my system. I had gotten it early on in the war, so only Cassian really knew about it, but it seemed he had forgotten by the look on his face. The scar itself wasn’t big or anything, it was a slightly raised line going from the end of my right brow to my jaw. ‘’It’s time’’ Rhysand said, all of us shifted to our persona’s. The masks we used to keep the people and places we cared about safe.   
Azriel and Cassian walked through the halls in front of Rhysand, as I walked all the way back. I would be entering behind them after the court was allowed to rise from their kneeling. Rhysand was the elegant extremely powerful high lord he played Under the Mountain, while Azriel and Cassian were the brutal and mighty Illyrian warriors. Rhysand had let the damper on his powers go, the mountain almost vibrating with every step he took. As they walked in first the Shadowsinger and General and then followed by Rhysand. I could practically feel the fear in the room, the cruelty emanating from the entire court was something I could taste in the air. I until I heard Rhysands order ‘’Rise’’ and I walked in as he said ‘’Go play’’. Gasps were heard amongst the crowd.  
‘’Keir’’ Rhysand summoned Mor’s father who looked at the two Illyrians cringing at Azriel and truthteller his blade. I let lightning crack along my armour, allowing some of the dampers go. Even though I could never show up Rhysand in pure power, this display was more than enough for most inhabitants of the court of Nightmares to scramble away from me. Keir visibly paled as he looked upon me, his mouth almost falling open. ‘’Report’’ Rhysand ordered Keir. I stopped slightly behind him, bowing to Rhysand, who acknowledged me with a nod of his head. My presence alone unnerved Keir more than usual, he knew I was behind him but could not look upon me. I kept my gaze unforgiving and cruel, I was a ruthless leader of natural disasters. I smirked as Keir stiffened when he saw me, Rhysand had ordered him to get Feyre some wine. ‘’Keir, be a dear and get me some to’’ I drawled as he scrambled off. Azriel had disappeared to find what we came here for. Not really wanting to look upon Feyre and Rhysand putting on a show I nodded to a place in front of the dais. Rhysand confirmed by a slight nod, I stalked forward to lean against the platform, keeping my gaze steeled, whenever someone dared to look at me my lightning would flare, and I would smirk at them as if to dare them to do something. I had taken out a small dagger, using it to clean my nails.   
After a while Azriel returned, giving Rhysand a subtle nod. Mor had gotten off the dais again and sauntered over to him, running a hand over his shoulders and chest circling around him to look at his face. As he slung his arm around her waist, squeezing lightly confirming he had gotten the orb for her. She gave him a dazzling smile, flirtingly as she moved away through the crowd. Just seeing Azriel look so dazed and lovingly in her direction sent a pang of hurt through me. It surprised me so much I almost lost my mask. He was just well maybe a friend, just like all of the Inner Circle. Keir sauntered over with the wine, at Rhysands command of course. As I took a sip, I looked over to Cassian, who was snarling at anyone coming to close from his place leaning against the pillar. ‘’No, milord I would never dare harm you’’ Keir said, I cocked a brow at this saying really Keir. I made sure Feyre’s path to Cassian was free, but as she walked, Keir had the nerve to insult her. Night exploded. ‘’Apologize’’ Rhysand said holding Keir's mind. I did not want to look at Rhysand basically tortured Keir, breaking his hand in multiple places before letting him go.   
Feyre and Cassian had already left the Night court to get her dressed in proper clothes, before Mor and I followed silently. Azriel followed us with Rhysand in tow not far behind. It was only until after we were outside and a longs ways away from the city, that I let my mask drop. Throwing up the little food I had eaten that morning. I felt a shadow rubbing circles on my back, ‘’are you okay?’’ Azriel asked. I dropped down on my butt, leaning against a tree. ‘’I think so, it’s just seeing Keir like that’’ my words stopped in my throat. I knew he deserved it, hell I would do it myself if ordered but seeing his mind being held like mine was once. Azriel nodded silently. ‘’You guys coming were winnowing back’’ Cassian called to the two of us. Azriel offered me a hand, and I took it almost without hesitation.   
The following days before Starfall, I trained and tried to track down the disasters.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 *bonus*  
I was still nowhere in my search for the others, it frustrated me to no end. I did not know who was alive or where they were. Most of all, I did not know what horrors they had faced in those final weeks of the war. I had given them an order, and they had complied, but still, I feared for my old friends. After a lot of nagging Mor had gotten me to go along to shop for dresses yesterday, for Starfall. I had heard tales about it from Cassian and the other Illyrians during the war when this night came they would be silent. It was always strange to have them and other night court fae in the camps during those long night. I had not seen it before though, I had once promised Cassian to come to see it after the war, but I was never able to. This was a fact he delighted in reminding me off with this massive smirk on his face. So here I stood on the patio, crowded with the local fae. Mor and Azriel had walked in shortly before me and had already gotten drinks. The exciting tension was rising in the room as the big event was almost starting. Cassian tried to hug me right after he had flown in with Feyre, but I ducked under his arms not comfortable with someone touching me other than in a fight. A bit of hurt flashed through his eyes, and I flashed an apologetic smile ‘’Sorry, I just’’ I began. Cassian shook his head, ‘’it’s okay, I’m just thrilled you're finally here’’. I nodded, ‘’I’m grateful to actually see it, after all the stories that were told in the war camps’’. Azriel flashed me a look, trying his hardest not to look at Mor who looked spectacular in her pure white dress, as did Feyre in her dress which looked like littered with stars. The two were quietly talking to each other a little ways away from me. ‘’Cassian’’ someone yelled, and we looked over to the male already talking to Azriel. The male looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it, probably a soldier or noble from back then. ‘’Go, have fun’’ I urged Cassian to join his friends leaving me alone. Rhysand had joined the other girls by then as Feyre asked if there wasn’t a big speech. ‘’No, this night is not about me, my presence is appreciated, but it’s about that’’ Rhysand said pointing to the first star travelling across the sky. As the joyful dancing began, I walked to the side of the patio and sat on the balustrade. Watching as the stars started to pass by faster and closer, I could probably touch them If I reached my hand out.   
I kept to my place on the railing for most of the night just watching the stars in amazement. The revelry kept going, as Cassian had said, it went until dawn. Even with the fantastic sight of the stars, I probably felt more out of place. Seeing the entire court of dreams together celebrating. Yes, the unclaimed didn’t really come together in large groups a lot. Our smaller groups and tribes were the same, though, to each other, we were family, friends. One people just like the court before me. ‘’Bri, come join us’’ Cassian yelled in my ear, scaring me as I almost fell off the railing. ‘’Whoa’’ Mor said as she caught my arm before I could fall down, ‘’Cass really you had to scare the poor girl’’. Cassian looked a bit sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. ‘’sorry they are a bit drunk’’ Azriel said walking up to us. The other two yelled out at him for being called drunk, ‘’Bri, if you're not on the dance floor soon I am dragging your ass to it’’ Cassian said as he and Mor went to get more drinks. ‘’Again sorry about them’’ Azriel said, ‘’May I’’. He motioned to a spot in front of me. ‘’Sure’’ I said leaning back a bit to lean against the wall.   
‘’Are you okay?’’ Azriel asked. I nodded, ‘’it’s nothing, the stars are truly magnificent. I have never seen anything like it’’. I tried to change the subject, not wanting to talk about my thoughts, not wanting to ruin the moment. ‘’There is nothing like it any other court or lands’’ He said, ‘’you really shouldn’t be sitting here alone on a night like this, come on you should join us’’. ‘’I don’t know’’ I said, hesitant to join them. Azriel stood, I could see in his eyes that he knew something was up and wanted to know, but he didn’t. ‘’We would love it, or should I sent Cassian to come and get you’’ he threatened with a smile on his face. ‘’Fine’’ I said taking his hand to join the rest of the Inner Circle save for Amren.   
Cassian's POV  
I was waiting for Feyre to fly her up to the House of the Wind. Hearing her coming down the stair and whistled at her looks teasingly. ‘’I should have let Nuala and Cerridwen dress me’’. ‘’You don’t look bad yourself’’ She countered. I nodded in thanks and asked if she was ready. ‘’With all those gems you might be to heavy for me to carry, I might drop you, I hope you have been practising your magic in case you have to winnow.’’ I grinned at her, as she said ‘’Funny’’. Feyre knew I would not drop her at all, not just fearing Rhysands wrath but she was like a little sister. As I soared up to the house of the wind, the last lights in Velaris winked out in anticipation of the stars. I would be the first Starfall that all of us were together again after Amarantha. To me, it felt similar to the first time after the war only without the loss of many soldiers. I landed on the crowded patio, spotting Mor talking to one of her friends from Rita’s. Rhysand was still nowhere to be found, and Azriel was somewhere in the crowd. I got Feyre a drink and spotted Briar. She was wearing a beautiful dress, a high mock neck, no sleeves and a high low skirt which only went to just below the knees; it was a very light grey, of simple make but beautiful nonetheless. I went to try and hug her, but I didn’t realise my mistake before it was too late as she ducked under my arms. ‘’Sorry, I just’’ Briar began. I shook my head, ‘’it’s okay, I’m just thrilled you're finally here’’. It hurt me to see her still scared of people touching her. She nodded, ‘’I’m grateful to actually see it, after all the stories that were told in the war camps’’. The other night court soldiers and I had told Briar so much about the beauty of Starfall and the legends, I was so happy she, at last, could share it with us. I was sad, almost heart brokenly so when she disappeared, never able to witness it. ‘’Cassian’’ Azriel called me over to him and a mutual friend of ours, Spence. I didn’t want to leave her, knowing she would probably stay alone but Briar urged me to go. And as the stars began to fall moments later, I was filled with joy dancing with Mor and Azriel as we had done for over 500 years.   
It took me a while to notice Briar, she hadn’t joined the revelry but had chosen to sit on the railing watching the stars fly. I felt a pang of guilt, she looked so alone, and looking to Azriel he confirmed it. His shadows whispering to him, as his face fell a bit. As we had been dancing and drinking, she had been sitting there all alone lost in thought. I dragged Mor over who also had guilt in her eyes, to get Briar to come dance with us. ‘’Bri, come join us’’ I yelled a bit too excited, scaring Briar who almost fell off the railing. ‘’Whoa’’ Mor said as she caught Briar’s arm before she could fall down, ‘’Cass really you had to scare the poor girl’’. As mor scolded me I scratched my neck, maybe my approach wasn’t the best. ‘’Sorry they are a bit drunk’’ Azriel said walking up to us.  
‘’Hey’’ Mor and I yelled out at him ‘’We are not drunk’’. Though our slurred words betrayed the intoxicated state, we were in. ‘’Bri, if you're not on the dance floor soon I am dragging your ass to it’’ I said as Mor and I went to get more drinks. Giving Azriel and Briar some much needed time alone. Something was up between those two, Az was more conflicted than ever, he still cared for Mor that was obvious, but the love had dulled a bit. ‘’Again sorry about them’’ Azriel said before we were out of earshot, ‘’May I’’. He motioned to a spot in front of Briar. Mor and I saw him sit down and started grinning like mad. ‘’Yes’’ Mor squealed seeing them together, ‘What are we looking at’’ Rhysand said walking up to us with Feyre. ‘’Az and Bri’’ I said pointing to them, grinning. We had all noticed the subtle change in Azriel, and Briar was definitely more comfortable with him over us. But that wasn’t saying much as the difference was minimal. Feyre and Mor were fangirling, as Rhys and I were just grinning happily for them. Seeing our brother together with her even just platonic. After a while, the two of them joined us dancing, and I noticed a small shadow snaked either around Briar's wrist or ankle at all times.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20  
A/N After this chapter, I will be doing at least one flashback, probably two centred around the war. I will be posting flashbacks centred around her time in Hybern and Under the Mountain later on.   
Today we would be going to an Illyrian camp, Windhaven. Cassian, Rhysand and Azriel had grown-up here and learned to fight here. I was going along as extra protection, as Rhysand had asked. All of us had gathered in the foyer of the townhouse, for Mor to winnow us to the camp. We arrived at the entrance of the camp, Rhysand and Cassian walking a few steps in front of Mor and Feyre, and Azriel and I flanking them keeping our distance a bit. I had never seen an Illyrian camp, but even the descriptions did not do it justice. Built at the apex of a mountain the camp was bare, rocky and muddy before us, the tents of the slums breaking up the sight.  
Further away from us more permanent stone houses stood for the wealthier families and beyond them the training areas. The training area gives me a sense of nostalgia, these were more similar to our movable training area’s. The weapon racks left out for the elements, where we would just take them in our travels and rings drawn with chalk just like the ones I grew up training in. Even the sounds coming from the males in the circles were familiar, all ages were represented, from the newest recruits to well-established warriors. No shouts of pain nor complaints came, just the clashing of weapons. ‘’I hate this place’’ Mor muttered, ‘’it should have burned a long time ago’’. As we walked further into the camp, lord Devlon approached to old bastard hadn’t changed in those 500 years. Nor had the five warriors that accompanied him, I had worked with them before, so I stayed hidden for a while. In contrast to Cassian and Azriel, these Illyrians wore only one smaller siphon, and I saw the look of surprise on Feyre’s face.   
‘’Another inspection, your Dog’’ Devlon began, ‘’was here just a week ago, the girls are training’’. In this simple sentence, he managed to get my blood boil, how dare he call Cassian that, the girls aren’t even in the ring. ‘’I do not see them in the ring’’ Cassian said arms crossed, ‘’they have to finish the chores first’’ Devlon countered. Mor snarled, and lord Devlon turned to her and Feyre, still not noticing me. ‘’Hello, lord Devlon’’ Mor said winking at the Illyrian. He dismissed her turning back to Rhysand and Cassian growled in warning. ‘’It is always pleasant to see you lord Devlon, but there are two priorities, first go get the girls, as Cassian ordered they are to train before chores not after so go and get them’’. Rhysand began asserting his dominance, ‘’Second, we will be staying for a while, so get my mothers old house, no need for a housekeeper’’.  
‘’My top warriors are occupying it’’ Lord Devlon objected, ‘’Then have it cleared out for us, and have the warriors clean it while they are at it’’ Rhysand said without room for objections. Devlon then noticed Feyre, sniffing the air marking her as made, ‘’Another one like that creature you drag up here, was she, not the only one’’ he spits out. ‘’Amren, sends her regards, as for this one’’ Rhysand drawled, ‘’She is mine, and if you touch her you will lose your hand. And then you will lose your head, And after Feyre darling is done with you I will grind your bones to dust’’. As Devlon did not know where to look, his eyes landed on me in my armour and visibly paled. The warriors flanking him flared their wings slightly assessing me, it took them a moment before realizing who I was. The Inner Circle showed no reaction to the Illyrians as I stalked forward. ‘’Hello, Devlon did you miss me’’ I said my tone low and dangerous, cocking an eyebrow challenging him. ‘’But how’’ Devlon forced out, ‘’you did not return, your captains mourned’’. ‘’And you did not give me the reinforcements I needed for the rescue opp’’ I said, ‘’just one experienced flyer would have been enough. And as for my captains, they were following orders something I cannot say for all your Illyrians’’. We had a staredown, daring the other to look away first or throw another insult. I kept my head high, never yielding to this lord.   
‘’We’ll be leaving’’ Rhysand said to Mor, Cassian and I, ‘’try and stay out of trouble Devlon hates us the least I don’t want to look for another camp’’. He then proceeded to order Cassian to look at the girls training. I noticed Azriel had already left for the human lands, he would come to stay with us once he returned.   
‘’Az really hates this place, he will probably find any excuse not to come here’’ Mor said as Rhysand and Feyre disappeared into the distance. ‘’I can imagine, the entire camp just exudes coldness, almost cruelly so’’ I said, ‘’I’m going to the training ring if you want to join even just to watch’’. ‘’I first need some warmer clothes, I will be right there’’ Mor said as she entered the house. Cassian had already walked to the training ring to observe the training. ‘’Out of my way,’’ I said coldly to some males who were in my path to the ring. They were still relatively young, probably under a century old. ‘’I said move’’ I ordered as they did not move, letting lightning cackle along with my armour. This surprised them and moved out of the way, damn Illyrians they have no respect for females what so ever. As I walked up to the ring, I saw Cassian standing at the edge. One of the warriors that had accompanied Devlon assured in a group of girls of varying ages. They looked terrified, their traditions did not allow them to train only to do chores, clipped and married, it is horrible. ‘’You looked just like that, the first week at the house’’ Cass said in a low voice, some hurt in it. A lot had changed since then, I had definitely gained back weight in the form of muscle mass, but my mind was still broken underneath the mask. I knew the Inner Circle must see through it at times, but it would not help me to act on my feelings war was imminent. ‘’Then let’s change it, show them what a female can do if properly trained’’ I said, ‘’fight me, I want to shut up those bastards and wipe the smirks off their faces’’. He nodded, and walked up to the girls, ‘’I know you must be scared, but my friend general Asteria and I will demonstrate what a trained female can do. Some of you might get to that level one day but know this your safety and ability to defend yourself is our top priority in these lessons’’. He motioned to me as he said my name and the girls gawked a bit before covering it up.   
I had walked to the weapons rack and taken out a practice sword for myself and Cassian, getting some daggers as well. I threw it to him as he walked up to me, stepping inside the ring. ‘’Magic or not magic’’ I asked, ‘’Minimal magic, blasts allowed no huge ass storms, flying is allowed only shortly’’ Cassian answered. I smirked at him, releasing a bit of the damper letting the current run through me. The wave that went away from me got the attention of everyone around the rings, those training and watching. Cassian had already poured his killing magic into the siphons. We started to circle each other, and as he lunged, I jumped over him using the wind.  
Whirling around to try and hit his back but he had activated his red shield. I jumped back as he swung out, his wings tucked in tight. I smirked at him lunged at him and switching my sword to my left hand, this time he saw it coming and blocked on time. I ducked out of the way of his fist. We clashed again, and I tried to run some electricity through his sword, but he shielded his hands. As he pushed back, I jumped, blocking him with a formidable wall of wind. ‘’Two can play that game’’ I called to him taunting. This time he charged and I stopped sending a stiff wind into his side to push him away. We continued to simply clash for a good while, both of us barely breaking a sweat, yet we refrained from more magic.   
Getting bored with the simple clashing, I jumped in the air attacking from above, while he countered with a powerful blast of his own. Luckily I am as nimble in the air as on land, so I just turned sideways to grab onto his shoulder bringing him down with me. He pushed me back, jumping up on his feet wings flaring. He Lunged at me with speed, I barely blocked the blow in time, using stiff wind in combination with water to destabilize him slightly. I swiped at his feet before we both jumped back. I had hit his ankle, and his last hit hurt my shoulder due to the hard impact. We were still going to, clashing and then jumping back. I kept switching my blade from my right to my left hand and back, it may not surprise Cassian as much any more, but it helped to make mock moves and then striking from the other side. I was starting to build momentum, hitting faster and faster. Cassian was keeping up, but only as his shields protected him from strikes, he wasn’t quick enough to catch. He sends a massive blast at me, which I had to block with a shield of stiff wind and ice. It threw me back, losing my momentum, and almost my balance. He shot forward using his wings to thurst his sword, I leaned to the right, catching his arm. I jumped up and flew both of us up a watch where I proceeded to vault over and throw him to the ground. Before Cassian could hit the ground, he opened his wings and flew up at me to hit me on the left leg. I turned away from his hit, and we circled each other in the air. I flew at him though he blocked the blow quickly, I punched him in the stomach with my free hand. He answered the impact on his stomach with one to my head. I fell to the ground slightly disorientated. He landed hard behind me, I turned around low to the ground sweeping my leg against his ankles. He lost his footing a bit, as I took advantage to bombard his face with hail bits. Now slightly blinded and regaining his foot, I landed a swift kick to the back of his knees. Letting Cassian fall to his knees in front of me before he jumped up hard sending a series of blasts after me. One his me in the side almost knowing me over if it weren’t for the wind I was using to keep me upright. At some point during our clashing, we had been disarmed and were fighting with the weapons we could magically create. After that we kept clashing until I finally got a hold of his arm again and threw him over my shoulder, locking his arms underneath my legs and conjuring a dagger of ice to hold to his throat.   
‘’Fine, I yield’’ Cassian said after struggling to get up, he probably could have easily picked me up if it wasn’t for the mud rings I had put on his wrists. Besides, it wasn’t the point we had to show the girls the importance of training, we were evenly matched and could have gone for much longer. Our matches over the past to weeks were won equally by both of us. I got off him and offered a hand to pull him up. The rest of the day we spent teaching the girls. And in between classes, both of us were challenged by Illyrians. I was challenged because I was a female and they thought they could beat me, but even without the use of magic, I won most fights within minutes, often giving them some time to show me what they got. Cassian, on the other hand, was challenged because I had beaten him, and these males wanted to prove themselves better than a female or at least better than their general. None of them won, each and every warrior lost before the ten-minute mark if they even got to the five minutes. 

‘’These warriors are the worst’’ I grumbled sitting down for dinner. Rhysand and Feyre had also returned, after training her magic away from the camp. I was quiet throughout most of the dinner conversations, ‘’I will take the couch’’ I said as we went over the sleeping arrangements. Cassian tried to object, but I cut him off ‘’It is hardly the worst place I slept, it is even warm so’’. ‘’Fine’’ he grumbled knowing I would just fight him on it if he gave up his bed, he needed the space for his wings. ‘’Feyre and I will be training away from camp again tomorrow, make sure the girls are training and message me when Azriel returns’’ Rhysand said, ‘’will you be able to handle Devlon and the girls training?’’. Cassian nodded, and Mor beamed, ‘’ with Briar definitely she serves as an excellent inspiration to the girls’’. ‘’Thank you’’ I said to Mor, ‘’so do you’’. 

The next day went mostly the same as the previous, but fewer males seemed keen on challenging me. In fact, the majority seemed to avoid me, after all, I showed yesterday. So I spent most of my time training the girls. Showing them the weak spots on a males body, how to hit those spots from different positions, and most importantly, how to get out of their death grips. It wasn’t the training males got, as their training was focussed on warfare, the girls especially those close to their first bleeding, needed the ability to defend themselves. A few girls showed a lot of promise, with exact hits that I took them apart from the rest, showing them how to throw daggers and shoot. At the same time, Cassian was working with the others on punching. Some of the males were glaring at us the whole time, but I glared right back at them or sometimes tripping them creating bumps on the ground. The males that challenged me were all young and reckless, none of the males that had survived the war did. Though I had spoken to a few of them during the lunch hour, they had remembered me from the battles and wanted to know what happened. I kept my answers vague as always, none of these needed to understand what had caused my disappearance before the Inner Circle knew. At the end of the day, Mor and I had spared without magic to show the girls tips and tricks. Our fight was brief and more instructional than a real battle, but some of the younger ones loved to see it. Rhysand and Feyre did not return that night, stuck due to the weather, and we would see them in a few days. Mor and Cassian weren’t distraught, knowing that both of them could take care of themselves. And the next few days just went on, reminding me of my childhood, even if the camp was more coldhearted. 

Mor, Cassian and I were sitting at the dinner table enjoying a simple breakfast of oats and fruit. Cassian did grumble about the lack of varied and meats, but we were at a camp. Across the yard, Rhysand and Feyre appeared. I froze as I saw all the blood on Rhysand and the look on his face said it all. Something terrible had happened, Mor and Cassian rushed outside. Rhysand was trying to get up, trying to get to Feyre who looked at him coldly and hollow. I ran out to Rhysand, as Cassian went to Rhysands side after seeing that Feyre wasn’t harmed. ‘’Take me somewhere, far away from here’’ Feyre begged Mor, Rhysand moaned her name pleading for her to stay. In a blink Mor was gone, ‘’let’s get him inside’’ I said to Cassian who was still looking at the place where the girls had stood.   
We had laid him on his bed, as he moaned in pain, still calling for Feyre. ‘’Arrow wounds’’ I confirmed looking at them, they were slowly bleeding, but by the looks of his pale skin, he had lost quite a bit of blood. ‘’Get a healer, whatever Feyre did, it saved his life, but the wounds need binding’’ I commanded Cassian. I had seen these wounds before, ash arrows, his power wasn’t healing him so probably faebane as well. ‘’Cass hurry, ash arrows and faebane were used.’’ He didn’t hesitate after that, I knew he was hurting, seeing his brother like that, but it did not excuse the fact that he stood there frozen. A few minutes later, he had run into the room with one of the healers, who I instructed to start dressing the wounds. I had already gotten water, which I heated myself, and started cleaning the wounds. ‘’Rhysand, you better stop moving, or by the mother, I will make sure you do’’ I threatened the high lord who was trying to get up and go after Feyre. Cassian stood pale-faced on the side of the room, worry on his face. As the healer finished up dressing the wounds I walked over to Cassian, ‘’Rhysand will survive, don’t worry about that’’. He nodded his face stark his lips pulled tight. ‘’He will be out for a while’’ the healer said, instructing us on how much he had to rest. I ushered Cassian out of the room, but I let him sulk in the living room with Mor who had returned. The healer instructed her as well and then left to somewhere in the camp.   
I stepped outside and went to see Lord Devlon, the others were not to be disturbed by anyone until told otherwise. He tried to argue with me, almost to the point where I was going to pull rank even though it meant little here without war. At the end of a heated thirty-minute discussion, he yielded, agreeing to leave the house alone letting us come to him for the talks. Luckily only a few females had seen what had happened, as most of the males were in the training ring. I continued to instruct the females on my own, taking over some of Cassian’s tasks for the day. The males did not really like it, but they knew better than to challenge my objections after the fights that had occurred these past days. This went on for two days until Cassian decided to join me again, leaving Mor to care for Rhysand who was getting better. He had told us what had happened, and I did not blame Feyre, I can understand why Rhysand kept the bond hidden, but he should have told her sooner. She had been with the Night court for quite a while already, so she had the right to know. The fact that Hyberns soldiers had infiltrated the night court unsettled us, and Cassian had ordered more and stricter surveillance. Even calling to get the legions to start getting ready for flight, being on standby until the battles began. It wouldn’t be long now.   
I walked into the house exhausted by a day of ordering around males who did not listen and instructing the young girls. I felt filthy barely having showered the entire time we were here, not having the energy most days. The fighting kept my mind and body occupied, that I barely had the time to dwell on the past. Even though everything about being here screamed familiarity, the war, my childhood, even my time as a prisoner. Every time I entered the house, I felt out of place, I wasn’t family or even in the Inner Circle. I did not belong with them as they cared for their Highlord. ‘’Briar, come sit’’ Mor called as they were setting up a simple dinner. I nodded and sat down opposite of her next to Cassian.  
‘’Bri’’ Cassian began, ‘’thank you’’. ‘’There is no need to thank me’’ I said, ‘’I am simply doing what is right’’. ‘’Still, you kept Devlon and his captains away, trained the girls, ordered around the warriors’’ Cassian tried to argue, Rhysand looked at me with a bit of surprise. ‘’It’s the least I could do, plus it isn’t like I don’t know what I am doing’’ I said, ‘’so no thank you’s’’ I left no room for arguing starting to eat. ‘’Is there a spring nearby?’’ I asked. ‘’There should be one a short flight down into the woods’’ Rhysand answered. I nodded and said ‘’I will be going there after dinner’’. ‘’The spring will be ice cold’’ Cassian objected, ‘’you will get sick’’. ‘’No, I won’t’’ I said, ‘’remember’’. I cocked my eyebrow at him so that he would remember the winters during the war. The rest of the dinner we talked a bit, just simple things. As I walked out of the house, the cold air hit me, but I kept going, it had been ages since I had bathed in springs there was little water cleaner than that.   
I didn’t take me too long to find one, it was only a short flight, and I would winnow back to the house. I dropped my glamour, revealing the scars which I had kept hidden from the Inner Circle. I knew Rhysand had seen them Under the Mountain, and most of the Inner Circle probably did when he had first taken me to Velaris, but I still did it. When I lowered myself into the water of the pool, I let out a sigh of relief. I had heated the area around me, which gradually moved away. I sat there relaxing as the hot water soothed my muscles, as I soaked. I heard a crunch behind me.  
I stood up and turned around, swirling the water in front of me. A shadow moved closer to me, as Azriel stepped out of the bushes, his hands in the air eyes closed. ‘’It’s just me’’ he said, I moved back in the water and turned my back to him. ‘’It’s okay you can watch’’ I called to him. ‘’I’m really sorry’’ he said, ‘’Cassian told me you were out here alone, I came to check on you’’. ‘’ I’m okay’’ I said pulling my knees to my chest before I realised that he could see my back Shit. I turned around sitting against the edge of the pool, he couldn’t see anything of me with my knees in front of me. I placed my glamour on my skin once again. ‘’Why, did you do that?’’ Azriel asked, ‘’the glamour’’. I looked at him a bit shocked at the concern in his voice. He blushed a bit as I looked at him, he had clearly not meant to ask it out loud. ‘’It’s okay if you do not want to tell me’’ he said quickly. I shook my head, ‘’it’s okay, I – I’’ I stuttered not really knowing what to say. ‘’I just think no one would like to look at them, they are horrific’’ I said quickly before adding ‘’They also cover up what ones was my sign as lesser fae’’. He looked at me shocked, my ears were indeed the only other visible sign that I was lesser fae. Azriel had sat down against a tree. ‘’What happened?’’’he asked. ‘’They carved it out, and my back well you probably recognize lash strikes’’ I said, the words falling out of my mouth.   
‘’What kind of mark did you have’’ He asked, ‘’you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to’’. He quickly adding knowing it could be a sensitive topic for me. I shook my head, signalling it was okay. ‘’How much do you know of the Unclaimed, specifically the nature fae?’’ ‘’Not much really, I only ever met a few, most of them ethereal sprites, wraiths and spirits’’. I nodded knowing that the more powerful fae like my lineage didn’t really show their marks. ‘’Most of the spirits, wraiths, sprites and others who embody nature really look like it or are even made up of what they represent. Take Dryads, for example, they are similar to the summer fae with barks for skin yet their hair is made up of the forest they inhabit, or the water spirit they are made of pure water given a corporeal form.’’  
‘’Then you have the others like me, we have markings like your tattoo’s representing our powers, or in my case those I favour.’’ My voice started to break by the end of the sentence, but I carried on. ‘’Once upon a time my skin was decorated with water, wind and lightning. See this long scar running from the shoulder to the elbow, or the one on my face, they cut those marks out poisoning the blades with faebane so that they would not heal.’’ It was then that I broke down sinking down into the water, letting it cocoon around me. Azriel had listened patiently, sending some shadows to comfort me until I had calmed down enough for him to get me out and into my clothes. Without him looking, of course, his cheeks were painted red as he was blushing a lot. He then held me until I had calmed down fully. He looked at me with pain, concert and guilt, he was probably thinking of what it would be like to lose his wings. The one thing that made him an Illyrian, this was what female Illyrians went through as they were clipped. It felt right to be in his arms, I had just told him of losing my mark, and I felt okay. It was so late when I realised this, I had been crying in Azriel’s arms for quite a while and did not want to go back to the others, not wanting them or the other Illyrians to see me like this. ‘’Is it okay to take you home, to Velaris’’ Azriel asked, ‘’I will send a message to Rhys and Cass.’’ I nodded not wanting to see the others in this state, Azriel had felt it somehow. He winnowed us to the House of the Wind.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21  
The day after meeting Cassian (chapter 3)  
I woke up at daybreak, after only having slept a couple of hours. I had sat at each and every fire of my troupes, even joining Cassian at some of his. ‘’Commodore Asteria’’ A soft voice asked outside my tent. ‘’Come in’’ I called, Alli walked in, she was one of our healers. ‘’Every one survived the night, right now some of the mortals are making the lists’’ she informed me. ‘’I will go give them ours, make sure no one else dies, those that are too wounded to stay here are to be transported west-ward with you and the other healers’’ I commanded. She nodded, knowing that we usually travelled without healers only having them come up here when we stayed in a place long enough. Most war camps had healers on standby at all times, and I would not risk the limited amount of healers we had. Besides, they were of better use further away from the enemies. Where those too wounded to be kept on the frontlines were sent. I got up and started to get ready, rebraiding my hair and training clothes without the heavier plating.   
As I walked out of the tent, Blake walked up to me, a solemn look on his face. I nodded to him, it was hard for all of us, we had lost our first high ranking soldier yesterday. Lisa, our groups, had met once years ago, I remember playing with her as kids, and now she was gone. Liam joined us on the way to breakfast, simple grog and milk, it was all we ate nowadays waiting on the next supplies. Sometime during breakfast, the other two captains joined us, our spitfire Emmaline, and the more lighthearted Earl. Together with the grounded Liam and, the ever-changing Blake, they formed my four captains. All five of us held the responsibility of our troupes during the battles with me as commodore in high command. ‘’Bri, why is that Illyrian looking at you?’’ Earl asked, pointing behind me. I turned and saw Cassian looking at me, I waved at him. ‘’We met yesterday, he is a decent fighter, he covered me for my final electric attack’’ I explained, ‘’It sat at a few of their fires after you guys went to rest’’. They all looked at me strangely, I usually never associated with the other troupes unless necessary. ‘’ don’t Emma’’ I said as she bounced up to talk to him. ‘’Hey, you’’ she shouted, ‘’You better not talk up my commodore’’. Cassian held up his hands, as Emmaline was bombarding him not to distract me. I sighed getting up, the others giving me a sorry look, they knew I would not do anything like that during war or any other time for that matter.   
‘’Emmaline Salda’’ I said electricity crackling, ‘’Calm down’’. She looked at me a bit ashamed, opening her mouth like a fish before I said, ‘’I know, go you and the others have the day off mourn with your troupe’’. She nodded gratefully, eyes already full of tears before running off to the other captains. ‘’Sorry, about her, she is a spitfire and after yesterday’’ I said my voice cracking a little, ‘’Lisa was one of her females’’. Cassian nodded understanding what I was getting at. ‘’They mean well’’ I said. ‘’Thank you for sitting with us’’ one of the Illyrians said. I nodded to them, ‘’My pleasure, everyone should be heard after such a battle. How many have you fought in these past months?’’ I asked. ‘’Only smaller ones in Prythian, this was the first major one for most our legion’’ another answered. ‘’Well welcome then to the frontline, let’s hope you guys don’t spend too much time here’’ I said, ‘’Why?’’ The same Illyrian asked. ‘’The battles are more brutal down here, you will lose most comrades at these lines’’ I explained short but cold. ‘’Commodore Asteria, Loyens requires all commanding officers to come to the war tent’’ A human messenger told me as he ran up. I nodded and thanked him. ‘’Wel that’s my cue, may we meet on the battlefield’’ I said standing up. ‘’I will walk with you’’ Cassian said.   
‘’So commodore, how are you doing’’ he asked,’’ as well as can be expected after yesterday, we will have to walk past my healer's tents to get the lists’’ I answered him. ‘’How many did you lose?’’ ‘’About twenty mostly lower-tiered footsoldiers Lisa was the only one with an actual rank, it's not much but every life counts and is my responsibility. How many on your side?’’ ‘’Only two, we don’t even have that many wounded either’’ ‘’I’m glad to hear that’’. ‘’Why would you be glad, you lost so many, we were too late’’ Cassian answered a bit angry. ‘’Because any life could make a difference, these guys don’t care for my troupes it’s a wonder that they even ask for our lists. Your Illyrians are valued much more, and every life saved right now could mean the difference later on’’ I argued back to him. ‘’What do you mean, your lives aren’t valued?’’ he asked taken back by the ferocity of my words. I knew that my tone wasn’t that of my own but rather the commanding officer I played most days. ‘’Haven’t you noticed that there is no distinctive colour on any of my men's armour, it is a mosh-posh of all types and colours. We are Unclaimed, nobody’s who are just used as shields for the weary, weak and inexperienced warriors’’ I said with a bite in my words, ‘’Joey were is our list’’. Our head healer gave it to me, ‘’no new additions, Dion isn’t in a life-threatening position anymore he is the last’’. I nodded, ‘’you are relocating tomorrow I will give you the coordinates later today’’. I steeled my face, Joey and the other healers hated it when I sent them away from the front, but it was best, they needed to be kept alive as best as possible. ‘’No arguing and that’s an order’’ I said as he started to open his mouth.  
‘’Fine’’ he said obviously wanting to object. I nodded and wished them luck as I started to walk towards the war tent. ‘’What was that all about’’ Cassian asked. ‘’relocation of our wounded and healers to a safe spot’’ I said. ‘’Asteria. Why are your healers relocating’’ Loyens shouted at me. I put my cold commodore face on, ‘’because they need to be safe at all times and as your healers and people don’t care about us and would rather put in healers instead of your warriors. I am keeping them safe so that my wounded men can at least get treatment. Maybe even safe some of your men in the process’’ I said. Loyens face was red with anger, I knew he didn’t like having fewer healers on hand, but I always got my healers back before the end of a big battle. ‘’Cancel the order’’ he commanded. ‘’No, and there is no use in arguing this. Here is my list, more died than was necessary thanks to your orders’’ I said. He huffed and told to get in the tent, we would be discussing where to go next after our wounded had healed. Cassian looked at me with newfound respect or at least something like that. I moved into the tent, once again, I did not have a lot to say on where we were going, but I tried to even though Loyens was making a wrong move losing the high ground.   
Later that afternoon, Cassian had found me again, we talked about the Illyrian training methods. We even sparred lightly with a few of the other captains joining in. ‘’How many captains do you have?’’ Cassian asked. ‘’I have four directly underneath me, you saw them this morning, and then there are several who serve as co-captains underneath them. They can take up the lead during battles as we are often to spread out for my captains to keep leading everyone. It is a bit of a weird structure, and we are unsure about what to call it’’ I explained briefly. ‘’As long as it works, we just have to listen to our warlord, maybe the general or Highlord if they are at the battle’’ Cassian explained. I nodded, Illyrian customs are somewhat similar to those I grew up with but different nonetheless. We continued to talk about anything and everything, Cassian spoke the most. He told of Rhysand, the high lord's son, Azriel his brother and spymaster, how that had hated each other before banding together and becoming brothers. He also told me of the Morrigan and lastly Amren an ancient being inhabiting a fae body. His eyes lit up, telling me about their dreams and hopes for the future. I, in turn, told him tidbits about my culture and my captains. By the end of the afternoon, we had become fast friends.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING, this has descriptions of non consentional rape, and is shortish

Chapter 22 *flashback*

‘’Bri, you made it’’ Cassian said running up to me beaming. ‘’Just as promised, it took a bit longer but here I am’’ I said smiling. He went to hug me, but I stepped back. Why did I do that, it’s Cassian, I thought. He put his arms around me nonetheless, but I barely felt them. ‘’Come one, I want you to meet the others’’ he said pulling me along with him into some big house. We walked in, and the place looked like one of the big manors which mortal lords inhabited. Only small touches like the fae lights made it apparent that fae lived here. Cassian kept dragging me to who knows where. The place gave me a weird vibe, there were little to no personal touches, we move so quickly past any painting that were there that I couldn’t see it. Even as we walked into the room to see his family, Rhysand I recognized a bit, he wasn’t covered in blood anymore. Next to Rhysand, another Illyrian stood, and a woman probably his cousin.   
The scene changed almost too quickly, I was in a crowded room laughing with someone, Cassian maybe or some other Illyrian. I couldn’t see the faces of everyone around me, I knew what night it was, it was Starfall. But it felt strange, wrong almost. I couldn’t focus enough on any face, other than Cass, who was walking to me beaming. A woman in red next to him, but again I could not focus on her face or body for that matter. The lights went out, and I felt it cold, ice-cold hands trailing down my body, darkness surrounding me. The joyful ambience was gone replaced by misery. ‘’You didn’t think all that was real now did you’’ a harsh voice asked me, ‘’brother, of course, she noticed you added no distinctive features’’ another voice just as cold said. ‘’She only knew the one, that Illyrian’’ the first voice argued. As cold hands continued to rave my body, ‘’Lark, you can stop now your time is up’’ the first voice commanded. The hand left my body but were soon replaces by others. My mind was still dark, I didn’t know whether I had gone blind or was keeping my eyes closed. The hands slowly but surely crept to my private area. No, They can’t. I began to try to move away, but I couldn’t move any of my limbs. ‘’Look sister, she is trying to get away’’ The male said, ‘’open your eyes’’ the female said.   
It was only after the command of the female that I was able to open my eyes. The twins were holding my mind, I couldn’t move or do anything other than watch as one of the vile guards had his way with me. The twins, Brennagh and Dagdan, they were only just kids born a few years before the war. As the niece and nephew of the king, there father and mother had fallen during the war. I remember fighting against their father in his final battle. Pain flashed through my mind, one of the other Daemati had put that in as Amarantha commanded. If I wasn’t going to give them the information they wanted, I would not think about it at all. This meant I would not be able to process any of it, keeping everything cropped up inside. The two Daemati loved to practice on me. For the past six months of my capture, they had been spinning illusions in my mind.   
‘’Let’s go sister’’ Dagdan said with a wicked smile, as they left the locked the door with the guard. Panic engulfed my mind, the past months I had been beaten, slashed, whipped, and even starved but never did they go further. Not once in these past months did the vile males got more than just touching me. Yet here I was, laying on the cold stone cot with some male touching me. As he began to rip away the torn garment, all I could think was no, this couldn’t be happening. The garments gave away without any resistance, exposing my pale skin. I still had some marks left, even after most had been cut or burned off my skin. My stomach was sunken I exposing my ribs and hipbones, after the months of malnourishment and weeks of starving. I only had my undergarments left, but these would soon also be removed. He began kissing, sloping up and down my body. It was utterly disgusting, the feeling along giving me goosebumps in a wrong way. I didn’t register all that he was saying, but I doubt I wanted to, as the things I caught were not worthy of repeating. Sooner rather than later, the last garments were removed, and he trusted his fingers in. No prep, nothing. I wanted to scream in pain, but the hold on my mind did not allow it.   
I could feel his nails, they were too long and felt sharp. I knew I would be bleeding down there, and the male noticed. Instead of stopping, he loved it and began to lick it up. My body involuntary reacting to the touch, as his nose nudged the clit. The male was overjoyed with the reaction thinking he was doing something right. His free hand moving to my breasts, ‘teasing’ them. His touch never warmed not as he kept moving in me, squeezing too hard and everything. He didn’t relent, even as his touch left me for a moment, only for him to thurst in. This was the first time, he noticed and roared in delight. His pace was brutal, and the only thing that kept me slick was the blood, I was raw, without prep and his speed it got worse and worse. Until he finished, several times in fact. Keeping up for half the day or night, I couldn’t remember the times in this dark dungeon.  
When the male finally left, the hold on my mind was loosened as I curled up in a ball. I sobbed, for the first time in half a year, I actually cried. Up until now, I had kept it in, never giving them the satisfaction of breaking me, of hearing me cry. I only ever cried out in pain by the end of their torture methods, because if I didn’t, they would keep going until I did. I learned that the hard way. It as there on that stone cot, winter unrelenting outside by the sound of the wind, after losing my flower that I realised I wasn’t going to get out. This is what broke me, but I would never let them know that. As sleep claimed me, I awoke in another illusion—one of the few happy moments during the war, sparring with Cass.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Azriel’s POV  
I had left to others in the Illyrian camp a few days ago, spending some time in the mortal realm waiting for the queens to reply. The rest of the time, I was coordinating my spies, hoping to get a full layout of Hyberns castle, and information on all movements of the queens. So far, I could not get into the queen's palaces, and it frustrated me to no end. How could I do my job, how could I protect my family if I couldn’t even do this? ‘Rhysand is hurt’ One shadow whispered, and another said Feyre is at the cabin. I sprung into action, sending the finished messages to my spies. Getting my things to go to Windhaven when a message came.  
Azriel,  
If I am correct by now, your shadows must have informed you of Rhysand’s injuries. His life isn’t in danger anymore, Feyre did something to make sure of that. Cassian and I don’t know what she did, but it saved his life. He is resting right now, all we can do is wait. Briar has taken over the camp, oh Az you should see her. She made Devlon leave us alone while Rhys is healing, she is even training the girls making the male warriors leave them alone. Cassian is sulking, but okay, we are just waiting until he wakes up so he can tell what happens. Please finish your tasks before coming to see us, as much as it pains me to say it. We need you on point. Come see us when you finished the job.  
Mor.  
Dammit Mor, really. I huffed sitting back down brooding a bit. I just, I understand, but I can’t sit by while my brother got hurt. I made up my mind, sending more letters to spies that might know what happened. My tasks occupied me for a couple of days, but I kept thinking about what Mor said about Briar. Cass had once told us we should see her go up against Devlon, but getting him to agree to stay away that’s something else. Even we could barely get him to agree, let alone training the girls.  
A few days later, I had finished the tasks I had come back here to do. I had gotten a few more messages from Mor and Cassian explaining what had happened. Telling me not to beat myself up about it, but these things were exactly what I was supposed to know. Hybern and Spring had infiltrated us, this was not right. I replaced the spies with new ones that I was sure could be trusted. I dreaded going to Windhaven, the steppes held no fond memories for me, I never wanted to go back but I would for Rhysand. By the time I arrived, it was night time, and I shadow travelled right in the Rhysand’s mothers house. Mor, Cassian and a slightly bruised Rhysand were sitting in the front room drinking.  
‘’Az, it’s good to see you’’ Rhys said. I cocked an eyebrow, showing no emotion. ‘’Don’t be like that’’ Rhys said, ‘’you would have died and what then’’ I said. Rhysand looked a bit guilty, he knew what we felt, it would be the same for him when we got seriously injured. I had sent out my shadows looking for Briar, she wasn’t in the house. The others had noticed my shadows lessening around me as they looked. ‘’She’s near the stream, she wanted to bath in a mountain spring’’ Cassian said. ‘’You let her go alone’’ I said cold anger rising. ‘’She can handle herself, Bri already proved herself against the best warriors’’ Cassian answered casually, grinning slightly. Damn him. ‘’I found a lead for her’’ I said. Cassian's eyes widened, all three of them smiling. Shit, I hadn’t told them, that I had offered to make my spies keep an eye out for her people. ‘’Take her back to Velaris, she is free to go look for them. We will contact her when the queens sent us a message’’ Rhys said. I nodded, winnowing to the stream. I saw her there in the water; unfortunately, I could not really appreciate the view before I cracked a twig.  
Briar stood up and turned around, swirling the water in front of her obscuring her. I moved a shadow moved closer to her, stepping out of the bushes, hands in the air eyes closed. ‘’It’s just me’’ I said. I heard her move and my shadows said she had gotten back into the water knees back to me. ‘’It’s okay you can watch’’ she called. ‘’I’m really sorry’’ I said, ‘’Cassian told me you were out here alone, I came to check on you’’. ‘’ I’m okay’’ she said pulling her knees to her chest.  
With her back turned to me, I could see the scars, some burn marks, some lashes, others from knives. She seemed to realise it as well as, she turned around sitting against the edge of the pool, I couldn’t see anything due to her knees, but I still kept my eyes on her face. She replaced glamour on my skin once again, my shadows told me she felt ashamed, scared even. ‘’Why, did you do that?’’ I asked, ‘’the glamour’’. She looked at me a bit shocked. She probably heard my concern, and I blushed as she looked at him. I wanted to take back my words, scars aren’t something you just ask someone about. ‘’It’s okay if you do not want to tell me’’ I said quickly, a bit to fast. She shook her head, ‘’it’s okay, I – I’’ Briar said stuttering.  
‘’I just think no one would like to look at them, they are horrific’’ She said quickly before adding ‘’They also cover up what ones was my sign as lesser fae’’. I looked at her with shock, and anger, to have your marks taken away. I couldn’t bear to lose my tattoos or wings. Yes her ears were indeed the only other visible sign that Briar was a lesser fae. I had sat down against a tree, wanting to say she should never have to cover them up. ‘’What happened?’’ I asked. ‘’They carved it out, and my back well you probably recognize lash strikes’’ Briar said. I had to mask my anger, it as slowly getting to the point of boiling over.  
‘’What kind of mark did you have’’ I asked, ‘’you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to’’. I quickly added, it must be sensitive for her to cover it up. She shook her head, signalling it was okay. ‘’How much do you know of the Unclaimed, specifically the nature fae?’’ ‘’Not much really, I only ever met a few, most of them ethereal sprites, wraiths and spirits’’. It was true I only met them during the war on the battlefields, or when they crossed our border which didn’t happen al that much. Briar nodded. ‘’Most of the spirits, wraiths, sprites and others who embody nature really look like it or are even made up of what they represent. Take Dryads, for example, they are similar to the summer fae with barks for skin yet their hair is made up of the forest they inhabit, or the water spirit they are made of pure water given a corporeal form.’’  
‘’Then you have the others like me, we have markings like your tattoo’s representing our powers, or in my case those I favour.’’ Her voice started to break by the end of the sentence, and I wanted to hold her. ‘’Once upon a time my skin was decorated with water, wind and lightning. See this long scar running from the shoulder to the elbow, or the one on my face, they cut those marks out poisoning the blades with faebane so that they would not heal.’’ It was then that briar broke down sinking down into the water, letting it cocoon around her. I sent out a few shadows to comfort her and cover her while I got her out of the water. Once she had calmed down enough for I put her in her clothes. Without looking, of course, using my shadows instructions, but my cheeks were painted red, blushing quite a lot. I held her, covering her with my wings until she had calmed down fully. She looked so fragile in that state, I barely knew what she had gone through during the war, but the pain, concern and guilt were visible on my face just for her. It just pained me to think about it, so similar to the hurt I saw in my mother and all-female Illyrians as they were clipped. Cassian, Rhys and I had lost parts of our wings, and even that was mentally draining. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose it all.  
‘’Is it okay to take you home, to Velaris’’ I asked her, ‘’I will send a message to Rhys and Cass.’’ Briar nodded her face said it all she did not want to see the others in this state. I winnowed us to the House of the Wind, carrying Briar to her room. Setting her on her bed, she looked exhausted. ‘’Briar, you shouldn’t be ashamed of letting your scars show, be proud of what you withstood’’ I said to her, ‘’I understand’’’. I stood up not really wanting to look at her, I feared if I did, I would break. ‘’Thank you, Azriel’’ She mumbled already half asleep.  
’Briar, she is having a nightmare’ A shadow woke me up, and I heard her moving around mumbling. ‘’Briar, wake up’’ I said approaching her, she bolted up. Her eyes unseeing, her breathing erratic. ‘’Shh,’’ I began shushing her, as she threw herself in my arms. It shocked me so much that it took me a moment to hug her. I rubbed soothing circles on her back, feeling the scars through her shirt. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ she mumbled, ‘’I shouldn’t have thrown myself at you’’. ‘’Hey, look at me, it’s okay’’ I said. She looked at me, tears in her eyes. ‘’If you want to talk about it I’m here’’ I said. She nodded and went to lay back down, pulling me to sit next to her. ‘’Are you sure’’ I asked, ‘’I - I know you’re still not comfortable with males’’. ‘’I’m sure, I - I trust you’’ she said, ‘’I don’t really know where to start.’’  
‘’I guess I was dreaming about the… the’’ Briars eyes began to water, her voice low and thick. ‘’Shh, take all the time you need, I am not expecting anything’’ I told her. ‘’It was the twins, they spun illusions in my mind, how am I supposed to know what is real, what if this is another cruel illusion and I am still in that cell. What if they made up all of these memories’’ Briar explained. ‘’It’s real, listen to my heartbeat, if this was an illusion would you be able to hear it’’ I said, Briar shook her head. ‘’Keep listening’’ I said, as Briar’s eyes began to droop. She was calming down slowly the exhaustion caught up to her. I sat there just looking at her, thinking about all that I knew about her. All that she had gone through and I promised myself that she would never have to again as long as I could help it. I had left her to do some work as dawn rolled around.  
‘’Thank you, for last night’’ Briar said walking into the foyer, it was already late morning, but she had needed the sleep. ‘’It’s nothing’’ I said, ‘’I was wondering what your captains were like and how you met?’’ ‘’I met most of them when we were kids, our groups meeting at times so we could play together and when we were older training. Honestly, each of them represented their element or part of nature so well, from personality to looks’’ she said, remembering her old friends. ‘’Well I have some news’’ I said. She looked up at me shocked, ‘’What kind of news’’ She asked not wanting to get over-excited. ‘’One of my spies in Montesere heard something about a tribe moving through their lands, it seems to be a group of dryads’’ I said. Her eyes went wide, ‘’are you sure’’. ‘’It is a rumour, but they are often shrouded in truth, I thought you would want to know. Maybe they have information’’ I said, careful to not get her hopes up too much. ‘’I have to go’’ She said, ‘’But I shouldn’t.’’ ‘’I already talked to Rhysand, we will contact you once the queens respond you won’t miss anything. You are free to go find them’’ I said. Her eyes watered, and she had a massive smile on her face ‘’How could I ever thank you all.’’ ‘’You don’t have to do anything. You are already fighting with us in the war, and that is more than enough’’ I said, leaving no room for arguing knowing she would take each opportunity for it. She still nodded doubtfully, before saying she would be going tomorrow.  
When it got time for her to go, it hurt me, I didn’t want to let her go out on her own. My spies already knew that they would have to keep their ears open on rumours about her but still. Even when Cassian and Mor returned, I had trouble hiding the sadness I felt about her leaving. It took a couple more days before Rhysand and Feyre returned, only because the queens would be returning to Feyres families estate. Briar was something else, even as we bowed to Feyre proclaiming we would serve and protect our High lord's mate, she was at the back of my mind. ‘’I will let Briar know’’ I said. ‘’How do you know where she is’’ Cassian asked grinning at me. ‘’Because I knew where I sent her, and my spies are keeping an eye out for her’’ I said, this sent Mor and Feyre into a fit of giggles. Rhys and Cassian were smiling. I looked at them annoyed, or as annoyed as I could look without showing to much. ‘’Oh quite teasing the poor guy’’ Amren said, and I gave her a small grateful nod. ‘’Where is she actually?’’ Mor asked, ‘’Montesere’’ I answered her, shadows thickening as I thought about her, alone in a different territory. I was worried for her, something pulled me to her, her mystery. Briar is different, in a way similar to Mor by her independence.  
‘’The meeting is tomorrow, could she even make it back on time?’’ Feyre asked, Rhysand probably informed her how far away it was. ‘’If she winnowed she could make it, but it would drain her. Tell Briar that she doesn’t have to come, we will catch her up to speed. We will need all the men we can get, her troupes could win us the war’’ Rhysand said. I was a bit annoyed with how he said it as if their lives didn’t matter as much, as if they weren’t. ‘’Az, it is important that she finds her people’’ Rhysand said noticing my look and interrupting my thoughts. The others stiffened a bit knowing not to start about this with him, especially after the mating bond only just being realised. I knew to him every life mattered, but after all, she had told us about her people and all I had heard over the years hearing him say it just hit wrong. Feyre and Rhysand were looking at each other with the others, including myself looking everywhere but them. One sniff of the air and look at Rhys and Feyre was all it took for the four of us to scramble out of the townhouse. I went to my apartment to send a letter to Briar.  
Briar,  
I hope you are safe. The queens have replied, tomorrow they will be in the Archerons manner at 11 am. We hope you can make it, but if you can’t, it is okay. I already talked to Rhysand, he said to take your time. Let me know when you can get back.  
Azriel  
There was so much more he wanted to add, telling her about the past few days but he had to keep it short. Within an hour of sending it, a letter appeared.  
Azriel,  
I am fine, I found the dryad tribe and will tell you about it when I get back. I hope you are well? Once again thank you for getting me the rumours. However, I can’t make it to the meeting with the queens, not that they would like that anyway. I hope to get back in a day or two, I will send a message once I am over the ocean. Good luck with the queens tomorrow.  
Briar.  
Disappointment washed over me, she wouldn’t be back for another few days. But not having her with us to the meeting might help us. I then began to plan tomorrows trip, making it as safe as possible for my High lord and his mate. My shadows still not calming down, as they kept swirling around me erratically, which made it to the rest of the inner circle obvious something was wrong.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
Briar’s POV.   
I woke up on a hay cot by sunlight streaming into the tent. ‘’Miss Briar, it’s time to get up’’ a small child came to wake me. The girl had vines for hair and light greenish skin. ‘’Thank you, sweetie’’ I said. She was the youngest daughter of an old commodore, who had found his mate in a dryad from Xian about 100 years ago. ‘’Jaque, Angelique, thank you so much for the past few days’’ I said walked up to the Commodore and his mate, who were having breakfast. For the first time since I had been freed, my hair was braided Vallahan style and my glamour down in front of anyone safe Azriel. ‘’Briar, it was a pleasure’’ Angelique said. ‘’Do you have to go’’ Loli asked. ‘’Unfortunately, I do, but you will see me again’’ I said getting down to her level. For the past four days, I had been staying in the small dryad camp. Only Jaque really fought in the past war, gaining the title of commodore in the final year. The other who had fought were simple foot soldiers, but they had al recognized me, they all knew my real rank. When I first walked into the camp, all soldier had bowed their head in respect, with the children confused. ‘’Here, first breakfast, you can then talk with the messengers’’ Angelique said handing me a bowl of oats, some berries and honey mixed in. I nodded my thanks and ate my fill. Once I was finished some other kids ran up to me, I had shown them a few fighting moves safe for the younger ones. It was primary self-defence, but it was vital in the coming times.   
‘’We are ready for you General Asteria’’ one of the soldiers, Jake, said as I walked up to the table. Around it sat five old soldiers and three of their sons who were old enough to choose. ‘’I once again want to express my gratitude for accepting me in your tribe and my rank. I am not forcing you to fight or anything, it is your own choice, and I will respect that. I will not pull rank just because you wish to stay with your families. Those of you that do want to fight, we first have to get messages to as many tribes as possible. Telling them war is coming to Prythian, and Hybern will get to the continent if it is to fall. Tell them I am back and to wait for the signal, my power will serve as such. We will not be worrying about ranks, we hope this war will be short. Is it clear?’’ I asked.   
Most nodded, looking at the message written down in front of them. ‘’So once we get the sign we have to get to Prythian, but where?’’ One of the younger ones asked. ‘’My best guess is that it will be spring court on this side of the continent, but it might also be in the mortal lands, so make sure that they take precautions for it. Jace, Alex, you two are In charge of getting a message to head officers of the Nymphs and elementals. I know I said we weren’t bothering with ranks, but they are needed as secondary commanders’’. The two nodded, they all bowed their head signalling it was all clear. ‘’General, you can go back to Prythian now, we will take it from here’’ Jaque said. ‘’Thank you, may we meet again’’ I said, swinging my bag onto my back. I walked out of the camp, winnowing far enough not to raise suspicion before I started to fly using the wind. Today the wind’s direction was perfect, so I only had to keep my upward force which almost halved my energy usage. I send a message to Azriel I would be arriving later today. The flying with the wind took me too long, at this pace I would not reach Velaris until tomorrow evening. So instead I decided to travel at lightning speed, the wind helping it go faster. At this pace, I would arrive just before dinner, which Azriel had informed me would be in the House of the Wind. 

I touched down on the patio, exhausted and reasonably drained, falling to my knees after straining my magic all day. It was 10 am when I left, but with the time difference it was, 2 am in Velaris. ‘’Bri’’ Cassian yelled out running up to me. ‘’Hi, Cass’’ I breathed. He hugged me, and I stiffened on response. His face pales, and he jumped back, noticing his mistake. I was still breathing hard, from the exertion and my thoughts all day. ‘’Bri, I’m so sorry’’ Cassian said, walking up to me slowly this time. ‘’It’s okay, Cass’’ I said, ‘’come on let’s get you inside’’ Cassian said holding out his hand to pull me up. Azriel had walked forward as well, and I stumbled into him as Cassian pulled me up. ‘’So you let him touch you and not me’’ Cassian said, ‘’Shut it, Cass, if you could actually pull her up properly it wouldn’t have happened’’ Azriel said. I took a few steps before my knees gave out. ‘’Whoa, Bri’’ Cassian called as I once again fell to the ground. A shadow snaked around the leg, ‘’Bri, can I lift you to take you inside’’ Azriel asked kneeling a bit in front of me.  
I hesitated, and he saw ‘’Shh, Briar it’s us, you’re safe’’. I needed a few more moments to calm down before I was able to nod at Azriel. Cassian had walked into the dining room, keeping open the door for us. I froze as Azriel picked me up, feeling the same cold hands roving my body. ‘’Shh, it’s me, you’re safe’’ Azriel whispered to me shushing me trying to keep me calm. He said me down at my usual place at the table. ‘’thank you’’ I whispered. He smiled softly at me, sitting down across from me.  
Cassian, once again next to me, started to fill me in on everything that had happened since I left. ‘’I’m really happy for you two’’ I said to Feyre and Rhysand who nodded in thanks, remaining quiet most probably talking in their mind. ‘’Only two of the queens came this time, the old one and the golden queen. I thought Nesta was going to bite the head off of one of the old queen. They were worse than last time, the queens, won’t evacuate or even come to the aid the humans beyond the wall’’ Cassian explained. ‘’I honestly didn’t expect anything more, what did they say about the proof?’’ I asked, Mor had put a plate of food in front of me, and I thanked her. ‘’The old one said they would think about it, but you will never guess what the golden did.’’ He said, waiting for my reply before continuing, ‘’ She snuck it out of the palace, hiding it within her skirts. She left it for us to find, moved by what you and Rhysand said about a better world.’’ I looked at him, shocked by the revelation. ‘’It’s true’’ Mor said, ‘’Now tell us what happened on your end’’.   
I nodded swallowing my last bit before starting, ‘’I went after the rumour Azriel told me about. I found a small tribe of dryads of all different species. One of the commodores from 500 years ago was the leader. Jaque I don’t know if you ever met him, he spent most of the war just beyond the wall in the mortal lands, though he fought for my uncle here at the night court, and he was there when our General fell.’’ The other shook their head. ‘’It doesn’t really matter, anyway when I arrived they immediately recognised me. Most of them knew of my deeds in the war. Jaque and those who had fought even remembered me being general’’ I said my voice breaking, thinking back to the moment I walked into camp and all of them showed respect. Cassian looked at me worried, he knew something was up. The others noticed, glancing at one another as I continued. ‘’I didn’t expect it, small as the tribe was they had several kids and young fae running around. Some only a few years old. I taught them some moves, necessary self-defence for the older kids, and for the younger ones how to play fight properly.’’ I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. It brought back my childhood, and all the time I spent with the other group's kids. ‘’Did they knew anything’’ Cassian asked almost hesitantly after I remained quiet for a few minutes. ‘’They only had information on one of them. She’s gone Cass, my spitfire, she’s g-g-gon-ne’’ My voice broke as I almost slid out of the chair wanting to hide. Cassian and Azriel were by my side, almost instantaneous. Azriel carefully took me into his arms, but I barely registered it. Cassian had taken my hands in his, leaving me to bow my head sobbing.   
‘’Cass, who does she mean?’’ Feyre asked, she, Rhysand and more had also walked closer. Having vanished the table to give as enough space. ‘’One of her captains, Emmaline, a fire nymph. Even when she got to the Commander rank, she kept the same captains near her even if the commodores changed and more were added. She always had the same group near her.’’ He explained, ‘’You know the first time we met, Emmaline threatened to tear off my balls and cock, if I didn’t leave Briar alone. She thought there was more between us, she would have literally spit fire at me if it weren’t for her losing one of her ranking officers the day before.‘’  
I heard the conversation but barely registered it, I was overwhelmed with the grief I felt. Emma died on the battlefield, she wanted it that way, it was still way too soon. As my sobs began to die down, I felt the shadows first, then his arms around me, pulling me against his chest but not trapping me. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ I whispered knowing they would all hear it. ‘’Az, move her to the couch in the foyer’’ Feyre said softly. I felt my self being picked up, but I couldn’t fight it. Even as Azriel sat us down, I didn’t move out of his arms, I had calmed down enough to see that Cassian and Mor were sitting across from us wine in hand and Feyre was sitting on Rhysands lap. ‘’Did you hear anything else about any of them?’’ Cassian asked.  
‘’No, the possibility of them being alive is minimal. But I did send out a message to all corners of the continent, for all groups. Once they get it, they will know a war is coming’’ I said. ‘’When can we expect them’’ Mor asked. ‘’Not any time soon, I told them I would give them the sign to come,’’ I said. ‘’What kind of sign?’’ Rhysand asked. ‘’that’s for me to know and for you to find out when the time comes’’ I said, ‘’Or when you need to know in case I cannot do it’’. ‘’Briar, I was wondering, how is it that you are still the general after being fone so long?” Feyre asked, the one question on everyone's mind. I had calmed down almost entirely and knew I could not keep it from them forever.   
‘’Well, it’s a bit complicated I think’’ I started, ‘’I told you most of us are migratory species, all species are lesser fae. The only high fae I ever met in the camps were half-breeds or those that felt like they didn’t belong’’. I wanted to add like me, but I wasn’t a high fae nor should they know that. Rhysand nodded, making me continue. ‘’As we don’t have a ruling high fae, most of the tribes have lord like the Illyrians. But in times of war, we are united as one people, instead of the different lord ruling their tribes we get the general, the commanders and so on. Only a few bloodlines except for some highly powerful fae can even be nominated as heir to a rank. Similar to the High lord’s succession, the power can shift to the one best suited, then even if a commander names his son, it could get to someone else. The shift often does go to the named heir, it is how I got the rank. My uncle had called me his heir, and after fighting alongside our general. And almost seven years at the front the previous general did as well. The power will not shift to anyone else until I die or leave the position.’’ I finished. Azriel had patiently listened the entire time, taking in all information I offered while rubbing circles on my arms to keep me calm. ‘’You mentioned the bloodlines, how important are they?’’ Azriel asked. ‘’Just as important as to us Illyrians’’ Cassian answered for me, ‘’The only real difference is in half-breeds, those are accepted’’.   
‘’I actually had two more questions, you said once that my mate would not be here if it weren’t for you, and what kind of half-breed are you?’’ Feyre asked. As the word came out of her mouth, my breathing and heart quickened. Azriel noticed and began to shush me, increasing the shadows around me. I pulled away breathing out ‘’I can’t’’ before my knees gave out. The exhaustion of the day, the half draining my magic and the stress from the questions catching up to me. My vision turned dark around the edges as I heard Feyre say she was sorry. I was faintly aware of saying it was okay, but I couldn’t answer the question yet. Azriel picked my up eventually, again and carried me out of the room.


	25. Bonus

Chapter 25  
Cassian’s POV  
‘’Did they know anything’’ I asked hesitantly after she remained quiet for a few minutes. ‘’They only had information on one of them. She’s gone Cass, my spitfire, she’s g-g-gon-ne’’ Her voice broke as she almost slid out of the chair wanting to hide. Azriel and I were by her side, almost instantaneous. Emma, she’s gone Azriel carefully took Bri into his arms, she didn’t even move or react in any way. Not even when I had taken her hands in mine. She was sobbing, Az and I looked at each other, feeling her pain. Az seemed to physically touch it other than just imagining it.  
‘’Cass, who does she mean?’’ Feyre asked, she, Rhysand and Mor had also walked closer. Having vanished the table to give as enough space. ‘’One of her captains, Emmaline, a fire nymph. Even when she got to the Commander rank, she kept the same captains near her even if the commodores changed and more were added. She always had the same group near her.’’ I explained in a calm voice much calmer than I felt, ‘’You know the first time we met, Emmaline threatened to tear off my balls and cock, if I didn’t leave Briar alone. She thought there was more between us, she would have literally spit fire at me if it weren’t for her losing one of her ranking officers the day before.‘’ My voice almost broke getting a bit thicker than usual. Slowly but surely Briar began to calm down, and I let her hands fall in her lap after rubbing circles on her palms to calm her down. ‘’Did you hear anything else about any of them?’’ I asked Briar who just revealed, Emmaline had died. I remembered her still. The impression she left that first time we met I would never forget.   
‘’No, the possibility of them being alive is minimal. But I did send out a message to all corners of the continent, for all groups. Once they get it, they will know a war is coming’’ Briar said, looking down sadly. ‘’When can we expect them’’ Mor asked. ‘’Not any time soon, I told them I would give them the sign to come,’’ Briar said. ‘’What kind of sign?’’ Rhysand asked. ‘’that’s for me to know and for you to find out when the time comes’’ Briar said, ‘’Or when you need to know in case I cannot do it’’. ‘’Briar, I was wondering, how is it that you are still the general after being fone so long?” Feyre asked, the one question on everyone's mind. She had calmed down enough for her to answer it.   
‘’Well, it’s a bit complicated I think’’ Briar started, ‘’I told you most of us are migratory species, all species are lesser fae. The only high fae I ever met in the camps were half-breeds or those that felt like they didn’t belong’’. Rhysand nodded, making her continue. ‘’As we don’t have a ruling high fae, most of the tribes have lord like the Illyrians. But in times of war, we are united as one people, instead of the different lord ruling their tribes we get the general, the commanders and so on. Only a few bloodlines except for some highly powerful fae can even be nominated as heir to a rank. Similar to the High lord’s succession, the power can shift to the one best suited, then even if a commander names his son, it could get to someone else. The shift often does go to the named heir, it is how I got the rank. My uncle had called me his heir, and after fighting alongside our general. And almost seven years at the front the previous general did as well. The power will not shift to anyone else until I die or leave the position.’’ She finished. Azriel had patiently listened the entire time, taking in all information while rubbing circles on her arms, the action hadn’t escaped any of us. ‘’You mentioned the bloodlines, how important are they?’’ Azriel asked. ‘’Just as important as to us Illyrians’’ I answered plainly, ‘’The only real difference is in half-breeds, those are accepted’’. The other difference was how far they were with training females, but it seemed kind of obvious.   
‘’I actually had two more questions, you said once that my mate would not be here if it weren’t for you, and what kind of half-breed are you?’’ Feyre asked. As the word came out of her mouth, Briars breathing and heart rate quickened. Azriel noticed before any of us and began to shush her, increasing the shadows around the both of them. Azriel was almost wholly engulfed, whereas, for Briar, the shadows halfway covered her. She pulled out of his arms stumbling away into the circle of us breathing out ‘’I can’t’’ before collapsing. Azriel shot forward before she could hit her head on the ground. Feyre said she was sorry, looking guilty as Rhysand comforted her. Briar whispered that it was okay, but she couldn’t answer the question yet. This time, however, she did was too exhausted to continue, even after she had calmed down enough again. I was quietly speaking to Mor, Rhysand and Feyre were communicating through their bond as Azriel picked Briar up carrying her out of the room.   
Once they were gone, Mor squealed. ‘’Did you guys see that’’ Mor exclaimed. We all nodded, ‘’could they be?’’ Feyre asked. ‘’Who knows, if they are it hasn’t clicked into place yet’’ Rhysand said. ‘’Cass did you know Emmaline well or any of the other captains’’ Mor asked a bit uncertain about the names and ranks. ‘’I only ever met them when we were staying at the same war camp, I think we met a handful of times. But Emma isn’t someone you could ever forget, spitfire is the best description you could give her.’’ I said fondly, remembering those few moments we had shared. They nodded, and I excused myself to go check on Briar.   
When I got to Briar's room, I saw Az kneeling next to her bed, holding her hands. ‘’Az’’ I whispered, and he looked up startled. Azriel never startles. ‘’She’s as sleep’’ he whispered back moving away from her slowly. As if he didn’t want to leave her, I noticed a shadow curling around her arm. She was in an oversized shirt, face cleaned of tears, and even her hair was combed. Az had taken care of her, he only ever did it for Mor when she had drunk too much, and even then it only happened once in a century. He walked out of the room to me. ‘’How’s she doing’’ I asked worried for my friend who was like a little sister. ‘’She’s exhausted, her magic is also low’’ Azriel answered looking a bit pained. ‘’How is she dealing with’’ I asked before he interrupted. ‘’Not as well as she lets on, she’s more broken than she looks’’ he said, sadness filling his voice. It hurt me to hear it, I wanted to help. Azriel interrupted my thoughts ‘’Briar will come to us when she is ready, right?’’ He seemed desperate to know it, I have never seen this look on his face, so much worry for my friend. I nodded, not trusting my voice, concern filling me as well. Azriel nodded at me, walking back inside to sit back down next to her.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26  
Briar’s POV  
I woke up slowly, the light fell into my eyes through the split in between the curtains. The light was way more intense than it should be, I always woke up at dawn. I shot up, what time was it? My head spun, and I had to fall back. Once the spinning had subsided, I got up slowly this time. The sun was burning my eyes, it was already late morning maybe even afternoon. ‘’Shit’’ I cursed, I had missed a whole morning of training. I quickly dressed in black leggings and a long-sleeved fitted tunic which fell just below my butt. As I was pulling back my hair in a mohawk braid, I saw a note on my bedside table.   
Briar,   
I thought you wouldn’t remember last night, I took you back to your room after you told us about your time with the tribe. Don’t worry, I didn’t look or anything while I helped you.   
Azriel.   
He was right, though, I did not remember how I got out of the foyer. I made a note to thank him later, but first I needed food. As I manoeuvred through the House of the Wind to the kitchen, I noticed a small shadow following me, Azriel. ‘’Briar, finally’’ Feyre said, ‘’Those two have not left me alone’’. Cassian held his arms up calling out that they are just planning. ‘’Sure you are Cass, Illyrian babies’’ I said, it was then my stomach growled. Cassian burst out laughing, and even Azriel smiled. ‘’Oh, shut it, you guys didn’t fly for over twelve hours yesterday’’ I said. Cassian cocked an eyebrow, ‘’You flew from Monteserre to here in one day’’. ‘’Due, Cass I am a natural disaster remember’’. This got a reaction out of Feyre and Azriel who had been looking at our exchange. ‘’I’m going to get some food’’ I said walking towards the dining room. ‘’ Cassian and I are going into town after lunch would you like to join us?’’ Feyre asked. ‘’I have to train, maybe next time’’ I said, knowing that if I went, I would have to answer a lot of questions. She nodded, understanding that I didn’t want to answer anything right now.   
Azriel walked after me into the dining room, where Nuala and Cerridwen had stalled out some lunch items. I took two egg sandwiches and an apple. ‘’You know that isn’t enough food right, you already missed breakfast’’ Azriel said piling more food onto his plate. ‘’Well we can’t all be Illyrians who just burn through everything’’ I said. ‘’It is still not enough’’ Azriel said, I sent him a pointed look. ‘’I wanted to thank you for yesterday and the note, I’m sorry for my reaction’’ I said. ‘’It’s okay, we all understand, I understand it can be hard to talk about’’ He said, ‘’Just know that we are here for you, just call, and I will sit and listen’’. We sat in comfortable silence after that. At some point, Azriel had left on his patrol. Cassian and Feyre had gone down to the townhouse to get changed for the city. I had changed my outfit for training leathers, stepping into the ring. Before I got to the actual training screams erupted from bellow.   
I didn’t waste a minute running to the patio and jumping off. I put a shield of electricity over the city, helping Azriel's and Cassians shields. The two Illyrians were on the other side of the Sidra, and Amren was on my side on the ground. The attor and its ilk were slamming into our shield, which broke on impact: shit, Faebane. I began sending out bolts of lighting, walls of stiff wind and keeping my part of the protection up to over the city. I dodged attacks from all sides, an Attor flew right at me trying to strike me down. I avoided the hit, punching him with lightning crackling at my fist.  
I was building up my magic more and more, as I killed as many Attors as I could. Hoping that as little ilk as possible could get past me, the air around me was electrified almost to the point of bursting into electricity. ‘’Bri, Don’t’’ Cassian yelled, he had seen me do this before. I put up a rigid wall of wind around my half of the city, boxing in all creatures in the air. As the screeched to the brethren, I let those who came to their aid pass into the box. But no one would come out, not now. I kept moving striking more and more of the creatures but gaining more than a few injuries myself. Rhysand was closer now, I just needed to hold on a few more minutes. The build-up magic almost reached a point of unbearable, after depleting it so much yesterday I was only at about 25 per cent of my power, but it would do enough damage. Another ilk came up to me from behind trying to slash my back, I turned and set him on fire. Shit, I thought, fire isn’t something I usually used. Night burst on the other side of the city, I was too preoccupied with him and the shock of using fire that I overlooked an Attor behind me. He hit my back deep, I almost lost my concentration falling down a bit. Rhysands power moved closer to my side of the Sidra, ‘’Okay, enough of this playing’’ I said, Cassian was flying yelling for me to stop as he saw me move higher into the sky having more lightning cackle as I got ready to discharge the build-up tension. As I let the magic go lighting shot through the box, striking every one of the ilks who had entered this side of the Sidra. The electricity burned most to a crisp whereas others were immobilized not being able to breathe, some losing their wings and others trying to get as far away as possible. Just like the last time I did this, I was also struck, it would not kill me, burn me, not even paralyse. But at the power level, I was it would drain me completely, after yesterday and keeping up the shield above the city, the rigid wall around my box and all the magical attacks I used as I did not have any actual weapons on me. When the final ilks fell down dead, the hard wall of the air fell as well as my vision started to darken around the edges. The wind keeping me up faltering bit by bit, the bloodloss and drainage getting to me.   
Azriel’s POV.   
I got back from patrol just when the alarm around Velaris sounded. Cassian had already thrown up a red shield around the city. I joined him, throwing up a shield myself. We worked in unison shooting red and blue arrows, slashing at the ilk, and shooting shields blocking them. We killed as many as we could before they could hide the ground. At some point Cassian yelled something, ‘’Bri, Don’t’’. Briar had joined the fight around the same time I had, throwing up a shield of lightning up over Velaris, using magic attacks herself. I looked over to her, Shit, she’s only wearing training leathers, no weapons. I wanted to go to her side, I had full armour on just like Cassian, ‘’Az, cover me’’ Cassian yelled over to me, ‘’Bri, is planning something dangerous’’. I nodded, covering him as he flew to her before being bounced off a stiff wind barrier.  
Rhysand was almost here, he told us as much through the mind link. As night exploded misting all the ilk on our side as Rhysand moved through trying to find his mate. I looked over to Briar to see an Attor strick her back, deep. , ‘’Okay, enough of this playing’’ Briar said, flying upwards. ‘’Bri doesn’t do it’’ Cassian yelled at her trying to get through her wall, ‘’Bri stop’’. ‘’Cass, what is she doing’’ I asked flying up to him the moment she releases the lightning. ‘’That’’ He said. The lightning crackled through the air giving her a dangerous yet beautiful glow, she looked magnificent. The electricity had obliterated all enemies in the box she had created. It was starting to die down, she had been him herself by the lightning, but it was moving erratically along her body. She looked powerful, more so than the mask of a general she wore when we went to the hewn city, it was then it clicked.  
I almost forgot to beat my wings sucking in a breath. Briar started to falter in the air, her wind slowly giving out. I shot forward, but before I got to her, she fell out of the sky. Mate echoed through my head. We touched down near Rhysand, Feyre and Cassian, Amren was walking up to us. Briar was bleeding, slightly more than Amran, Cassian and I. ‘’I’m going to help the wounded’’ Feyre said. Rhysand nodded, giving Cassian and I the task of getting rid of the bodies, and starting repairs. I still held Briar in my arms, not wanting to put her down.  
‘’I can help with the wards’’ Briar said weakly, ‘’I have some power left’’. ‘’Bri don’t, you’re too hurt’’ I said feeling the pain she was in. ‘’No, I’m helping no matter what’’ She said, ‘’I will not be sidelined’’. ‘’Don’t even try Az, it’s no use’’ Cassian said. Rhysand reached over wanting to heal her, but I pulled us away growling quietly. Briar was too exhausted to notice, but the others did give me strange looks. Feyre stepped forward this time, staunching the blood flowing from her wounds. ‘’Azriel, please put me down, we need to do our jobs’’ Briar asked. I sighed not wanting to let her go but did it anyway knowing she would be safe with Rhys and Amren.   
Late in the evening, we all sat in the sitting room of the townhouse. Amren was leaning against me, exhausted and bloodied. I gave her a few worried looks, a bit uneasy about being touched by a female other than my mate right now. Feyre and Mor both were muddied and tired, they had worked to help heal the wounded, count the dead. Both Cassian and I were exhausted, our wounds healing slowly, but our syphons were utterly drained. ‘’Velaris is secure’’ Rhysand said walking into the room, ‘’Bri is in your room Az’’. I nodded my thanks. ‘’Velaris may be secure but for how long’’ Cassian asked, ‘’Hybern nows about this place. Who knows to who else the wyrn queens have sold the information to, how long until they come looking or Hybern returns with the cauldron.’’ We all knew the answer, we go to Hybern. ‘’If we all go to Hybern, who will defend Velaris’’ Feyre asked. After a moment Amren said, ‘’I’ll stay’’. Cassian wanted to object, but Rhysand nodded in agreement. Amren was the only one of us who would be able to hold the city until help arrived. ‘’So what now’’ Mor asked. ‘’We sleep, we eat’’ Amren said. ‘’we retaliate’’ I spoke with my voice raw, ‘’I will speak with Briar tomorrow, about filling in the gaps of the palace’’. Rhysand nodded, and we all left to our rooms to rest. Briar was sleeping on my bed, her wounds had healed a little more, but no magical energy came from her. I lay down on my couch, wanting to keep an eye on her but not get close without consent. She was the last thing I saw as I fell asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27  
Cassian’s POV  
I woke up late, which was to be expected after yesterday. Right before I went to sleep, I looked out of my window, seeing so few lights made my heart clench. It was precisely what all of us, especially Rhys, had fought to prevent. And seeing Briar once again building up so much magical energy, it scared me, it made me think back to a significant battle.   
Flashback, 4.5 years into the war.   
We were all flying solemnly through the air, once again, my legion was called in as reinforcements. This time was different from most of the others, all courts were asked to send as many reinforcements as they could. We landed somewhere halfway inland on the continent, in what was to be the edge of the mortal territories and the fae. Montesere and Xian’s lands were to the north and northwestern sides of the camp, the Black sands on the eastern side. The territory which the loyalists still inhabited was so large, we were by no means close to ending this war. What we saw when we moved in was disheartening, so many troupes were going to try and break this part of the front. As we landed, we were immediately sent to the other night court troupes, Keir and part of the darkbringers were here as was our High Lord if the tent was any indication. Which meant that Azriel was here somewhere, maybe Mor and Rhys as well. I had identified legions of the summer, winter and day courts already, and the entire camp surrounded by Unclaimed tents. It was the usual set-up the tents further out would be raided first, so the Unclaimed got those.   
After we set up, our part of the camp, our warlord went to speak with the night courts general to get the strategy. ‘’Cassian, I thought I had seen you fly in’’ Blake called, walking up to us. ‘’Captain Blake, how long has it been’’ I said, patting him on the back. ‘’Couple months maybe even half a year where have you been stationed’’ Blake asked. ‘’We actually spent most of our time in Prythian these past months, Hybern was trying to invade but thanks to your general we were able to hold them off’’ I said. I did not need to ask where he had been spending the past months, the Unclaimed rarely left the front, whether it was on the continent or the others stationed to protect Prythian. He didn’t look very different since the last time we had seen each other, only his eyes showed the exhaustion he felt. ‘’You should come to our part we have dinner. Bri is going to be excited to see you’’ Blake offered, I shook my head. ‘’I can’t I noticed some tents and my brothers and Mor might be here’’ I said, ‘’How is she doing, last I saw her she was injured pretty badly going up against that commander’’. ‘’You know her, Bri is though we had another battle soon after you guys left southward she wasn’t healed yet, she fought and nearly killed herself doing so. Not even a week ago Clythia broke her left arm, and she is still fighting tomorrow’’ Blake said, shaking his head. I knew they all cared deeply for each other, none of the others would, just like my brothers and me. ‘’She’s not going to change is she’’ I asked, Blake, shook his head telling me he would leave me to it. I walked around the camp, not catching a glimpse of my family, only recognising a few who had fought in their legions. I decided to sleep before it got too late.   
The next day I was in the air with the other Illyrians, Peregryns and Seraphim, waiting for the commands. The High Lords present at the battle, along with the human commander and Commander Asteria were hanging back, they would join the fighting after the wards had fallen. I couldn’t see them, but their power was almost tangible. I had caught a glimpse of Rhysand in action at the far end on the Black Sands side, whereas I was on the Montesere side. Azriel was also somewhere down bellow near our High lord, and Mor well I hadn’t seen her, but I had seen her mortal friends so she could be here somewhere. ‘’Shields’’ Was bellowed along the lines. I didn’t have any time for any distracting thoughts, as the wards were bombarded. The Archers below readying their bows and lines of shields were formed.  
The wards of the Loyalists fell first, as they charged towards us. They had brought little flying legions, only some ilk and Attors. Soon after the fighting started, our flying units touched down, strengthening the lines which were slowly breaking. From the corner of my eye, I saw various fae wielding their powers, in particular the Unclaimed. I fought and fought, gaining minor wounds myself, but hacking down fae after fae. As all-around me, fae and mortal alike were falling down, killed by the loyalists we were trying to fall back. The stream of loyalist fae was almost never-ending, and we fought long and hard until most of us had no magical energy left. It is then I saw her, Bri, she was flying low and quick to the middle of the loyalists. A storm was brewing on their side of the battlefield. One that I had seen Bri make several times before, but this felt different. As I slashed another soldier down, I saw her release her magical energy. Electricity, ice and wind flew around the battlefield, striking down as many soldiers as she could. In one wave, almost half of the leftover soldiers were gone, leaving a large quantity of them hurt. Before she could get back behind our lines, a spear hit her in the back, causing her to fall down. ‘’No, Bri’’ I yelled fighting with renewed energy trying to get to her until the loyalist finally retreated. I started looking through the bodies for survivors with the others who still could.   
‘’Briar’’ I heard voices yell looking for her as well, ‘’Come on Bri’’. I looked over to them. ‘’Cassian have you seen her’’ Emmaline called running up to me. The usual fire in her eyes dimmed, their commander was missing, and they seemed frantic to find her. ‘’Over here’’, a Cyprus dryad called. I ran after the captains, there she was laying on the muddy ground, her eyes closed. The spear which had hit her laid a few feet away, she had fought until she collapsed. Her breathing was shallow, just like her heartbeat. ‘’Get her to the camp now’’ Blake said, ‘’It will take to long’’ Emma countered. ‘’Give her to me, I fly faster than any of you can run’’ I said kneeling next to her. Briar looked so fragile it scared me, I knew the high lord had taken our best healers with him so I would bring her to them. Blake looked at the others who nodded before giving me the okay to take her. I flew as quick as I could, laying her down in Madja’s tent telling her Briar was the commander of the Unclaimed. She nodded saying she would do her best. I spent the rest of the night looking for my family without luck, which meant they were still alive for now.   
I shook off the memory walking into the dining room, where some food was stalled out. Azriel joined me soon after, looking a bit pale. ‘’How’s Briar doing’’ I asked him. ‘’She’s still sleeping, but her wounds have healed, and she isn’t too pale anymore’’ He said. I nodded, knowing her magic would be fully returned again by tomorrow, which was good. ‘’She’s done it before you know’’ I said to him, ‘’I still see her falling from the sky on that battlefield’’. Azriel nodded now understanding why I was so concerned yesterday telling her to stop. ‘’What happened?’’ He asked, ‘’Remember the big battle on the borders of Monteserre, Xian and the Blank sands, about four and a half years into the war?’’ I asked. He nodded, ‘’we were all there, even the high lord and I’’. ‘’Do you remember how bad we were losing, I didn’t see it from my position, so I was told later. Bri decided to do something extensive, she discharged so much magic at once the last of what she had. It won us the battle, but she was stricken out of the sky by a spear’’ I said. ‘’She did’’ Azriel started before I nodded confirming his thoughts. We moved to begin helping with the repairs, with the others coming soon after, only Briar remained asleep regaining her magical energy.   
Amren had summoned us all saying she had cracked the code and was currently telling us what she had found. ‘’To nullify the cauldron’s power, you must hold the cauldron and recite these words’’ she said handing Feyre the note. ‘’Are you certain this will work?’’ Rhysand asked her, looking at the two halves. ‘’I am trying not to be insulted, Rhysand’’ Amren hissed at him. Mor went to stand in between the two of them, asking ‘’What will happen if we but both halves together?’’ ‘’ Don’t put them together’’ Amren said simply, Rhysand shot her a look of confusion. ‘’If you do the blast will be felt in every corner of the earth.  
Then you don’t have just the King of Hybern attracted to its power but ancient creatures who have been asleep for a long time, and should remain so’’ Amren explained. ‘’Then we move in now’’ I said, ‘’Since you can’t winnow us in without them tracking us, Mor and Az will winnow all of us in, Feyre will destroy the cauldron, and we get out. We’ll be there and gone before the king notices us’’. ‘” We don’t even know where it is’’ Feyre stated. ‘’We actually do’’ I said, and Azriel cut in, ‘’’We have narrowed it down to the lower levels’’. He continued, ‘’Every inch of his castle and the surrounding lands are heavily guarded, but it is not impossible to get through. We’ve arranged for the timing, it is possible to get a small group in, quick and quiet. We’ll be gone before they notice.’’ ‘’They will recognize Rhys the minute he steps in’’ Mor said. ‘’We’ve thought about that as well’’ I said. ‘’It is why you and Rhys will winnow us to the coast, and he stays to distract them while the rest of us will infiltrate the palace. As for the spell, it is a risk we’ll have to take’’. It went quiet for a moment as Rhys looked at Feyre, ‘’It is a solid plan’’ Azriel said his face full of vengeance, ‘’The king doesn’t know our scents. We will wreck the cauldron and vanish before he notices. It is a far graver insult than the bloodier direct route we had been considering, we beat him yesterday for a reason. This way, we will leave a few reminders of why we won the last war.’’ I nodded grimly knowing none of us liked the plan.   
‘’So, you are asking me to stay outside, while my mate goes into his stronghold’’ Rhys said far too calmly. I positioned myself in between the two. ‘’Yes’’ Azriel continues, ‘’If Feyre can’t nullify the cauldron quickly or easily enough, we will steal it and sent it back in pieces. Either way, Feyre contacts you through your bond when we are done. You and Mor will winnow us out, that way they can't track you.’’ ‘’If you want to go, we go’’ Rhysand said to Feyre giving her a choice. ‘’Let’s go to Hybern’’ Feyre said.  
‘’I could help navigate Hyberns halls and narrow down the location of the Cauldron even further’’ Briar piped up, she was sitting on the couch silently until now. ‘’We couldn’t ask that of you, to go back there’’ Rhysand said. ‘’I won’t sit back and do nothing’’ Briar said. Rhysand nodded grateful, having another person to guard his mate. ‘’You have done so much for me, I want to do something back, I just have one condition’’ She said, her voice raw and breaking, terror visible on her face as she thought about the castle. ‘’What condition’’ I asked, concerned about what she was going to say next. She stood up and cleared her throat, looking directly at Rhysand, ‘’That if we are caught, you make sure that they can’t get to me. Break my mind, kill me anything; it doesn’t matter how. Just make sure I don’t’’ ‘’No’’ I interrupted her, you’ll get out we all will’’. But Rhysand nodded to her and said ‘’consider it done’’. ‘’Rhys you can’t be serious’’ Mor all but yelled, Azriel's shadows going crazy and I just like them was fuming. ‘’I am very serious, and you should try to understand. Just make sure it doesn’t happen’’ He said. After that all of us went separate ways, Briar had already slipped out before Azriel or I could corner her.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28  
Briar’s POV  
I hadn’t slept that night, I was going back, back to the place where I was kept prisoner for so long. The memories swirled around my head, none of them pleasant. Azriel had visited early that morning to speak through the layout of the castle. But other than that I had been staring out onto the city. Someone knocked on my door, but I didn’t really hear it sounded so distant. ‘’Bri, you ready?’’ Mor asked, walking into my room to see me sitting on my balcony. She stepped closer, and I flinched finally realising she was there. ‘’Sorry, Mor’’ I whispered. ‘’No need, are you okay?’’ She asked. ‘’As best as I can be’’ I shrugged. ‘’you really don’t have to come you know, we aren’t going to think anything different of you’’ She said. ‘’I’ll be fine, it’s just I never thought I would be going back’’ I sighed standing up, ‘’I will be down in a few’’. She nodded solemnly before walking out. I dressed in my armour modelled after old armour that Cassian remembered. Reinforced leather leggings and top scaled like the Illyrians, in addition to an armour skirt reaching my knees, and extra padding wherever necessary. I took my knives, retractable Bo staff, twin swords and the reinforced bow and arrows, sliding them in their respective sheets.   
I was once again armoured to the teeth, but I still felt as if I was going to my death. I barely registered anything going on around me, none of the goodbyes and promises being spoken. I was winnowing with Mor and Rhysand so that I could get her in quickly as soon as we dropped Rhysand off. We would be waiting by the sea door for Feyre, Cassian and Azriel. The moment they landed, Azriel and I slipped into the hallway, killing the guards with our ash blades. I nodded at Azriel to get the others as I continued down the hall, clearing it as the others joined me. I walked in front of the group until we reached the lower levels, leading them to the point efficiently.  
The walls were still the same bone-white colouring, so cold, the entire castle gave me the creeps. I had voluntarily gone back, for the right reasons, I was putting myself here. In this place, I hated, I felt terror with each step I took. It was at that point that Feyre began leading the way, honing in onto the power of the Cauldron. ‘’There, it is down there’’ She said as we reached another stairwell. So close to the one down where I used to be kept. A small tendril of shadow snaked around my ankle. Cassian went down; first, one of his Illyrian blades drawn, whistling low to signal the coast is clear. Mor and Feyre were already starting the descent, but I hesitated. The tendril tugged as if saying, come on. Azriel nodded at me, his face cold and distant, almost grim.   
At the end of the stairs, a room opened up, closed off any other entrances. Dread flooded me if we were caught. I didn’t let me finish the sentence as I took in the Cauldron on top of a small platform at the centre of the room. The Cauldron was ripe with contradiction, it was presence and absence; Darkness and wherever the darkness came from. ‘’Hurry’’ Mor whispered to Feyre, ‘’We have a few minutes’’. As the four of them moved forward, I took my position near the stairs keeping an eye on it. Azriel held out its arm saying ‘’Listen’’.  
There wasn’t really a sound, it was as if blood thrummed through the room as if we were listening to a pulse of some kind. Feyre stepped forward onto the dais, all of us tensing as she touched the lip of the bathtub sized Cauldron. Feyre seemed to be entranced, I don’t know what she must be feeling touching the Cauldron like that. It was strange to see her like that, none of us liked it as she reached for the paper with the spell. But she also took half of the book out, ‘’Feyre’’ Mor whispered in warning trying to get her out of the trance. But she kept moving slowly, still in the magic, again Mor whispered. No, I almost shouted as she put both halves together, Mor also lunged for her cursing. A ripple went out, ears popping from the pressure, I almost fell over with the shockwave. ‘’We can’t risk it’’ Mor hissed at Cassian wanting to winnow Feyre out. ‘’Give her a minute’’ Cassian hissed back.   
‘’Guys’’ I called out low as someone descended down the steps. Cassian pulled me back a bit closer to the dais. Mor had moved slightly behind us, with Azriel shaking Feyre who was almost unresponsive. We unsheathed our weapons, as the male descended. ‘’Stupid fool’’ he said to Feyre, ‘’Jurian’’ She breathed. I gasped recognising the commander I had once fought together with. ‘’Fought your way up the ranks I see’’ he said to Cassian snickering. Cassian was snarling at him, as Rhysand had winnowed in. ‘’Looking good Jurian’’ Rhysand drawled, ‘’for a corpse that is’’. ‘’Last time I saw you, you were warming Amarantha’s sheets’’ Jurian fired back. I stepped forward as Rhysand stopped next to Cassian.  
‘’So, you remember’’ Rhysand mused, ‘’Interesting’’. Jurian moved his attention to Mor. ‘’Where is Miryam’’ he asked. ‘’She’s dead’’ Mor lied, ‘’She and Drakon drowned in the Erythrian sea’’. ‘’Liar’’ he sneered ‘’You were always such a liar Morrigan’’. Azriel growled, defending the female he had liked for over 500 years, but Jurian ignored him. ‘’Where did you take Miryam’’ Jurian demanded. ‘’I took her away from you’’ Mor breathed, ‘’I took her to prince Drakon, he and Miryam were married and mated the night you murdered Clythia, she never thought about you again’’.  
I did my best not to react to the mention of that night, the night which started it all. His face contorted in wrath. I felt Cassian come up next to me, as Mor and Azriel also stood closer together. It was clear we were going to winnow out, taking the Cauldron with us. I tried and tried but I couldn’t, I tried not to curse as Rhys said ‘’New trick’’. I felt my magic draining again. Pure terror came over me, no, we were trapped. ‘’I was sent here as a distraction while he worked on the spell’’ Jurian said smirking, ‘’you won’t leave this castle unless he allows it, or in pieces. Cassian, Azriel and I crouched into a fighting stance, I was fighting down my terror, this was not the place. I sneaked a look at Rhysand, he nodded, acknowledging the agreement we had. I was loosing power with every second that passed.   
‘’Then there is that’’ Jurian said, ‘’ didn’t you remember? Perhaps you forgot, it was a good thing I was there, for every waking moment, Rhysand. She took his book to take you powers. He made sure that a particular book was returned to him. She didn’t know how to use half of the nastier spells. DO you know what it is like to not breathe, eat, sleep or even feel for 500 years? To always be awake as she tortured everyone, I particularly remember your sessions Asteria’’. ‘’It couldn’t be that bad’’ Rhysand drawled, ‘’if you're now working for her master’’. ‘’Your suffering will be long and throrough’’ Jurian shot back. Then there he stood, the vile king of Hybern himself, my blood turned to ice, I could not breathe, think or even move. I was frozen in my terror, I didn’t hear or register what was happening. All I could do was stare at the king, I was frozen.  
Until Jurian shot an ash bolt at Azriel, and guards winnowed at me trapping me. It wasn’t until Mor’s scream and Cassian growl that I was shaken out of my shock. The guards had cut my tendons, making it impossible to walk their grips like iron, almost like the faebane collar which was slipped around my throat. I was trying to fight the guards, and as my eyes fell on Azriel something clicked. He was bleeding slumped between Rhys and Cassian. I tried to call out, they hurt him, Jurian had shot him with an ash arrow. No, no, no. I felt tears streaming down my face, Rhysand shook his head at me signalling for me to stop. The guards dragged me along as the others were lead to the throne room at quite the distance from the guards and me. Where I was handed to a nobleman right in the shadows. The male almost immediately started to slice at me, all shallow but there. Before he began to unclothed me. All the while I was looking at him, My mate.


	29. Chapter 29

Warning mention of torture/rape, not descriptive only slightly but they are mentioned.

Azriel POV.

The look Briar shot Rhysand broke my heart, their agreement. The cold rage and dread that came over me when they struck the bargain shot through me again. The four of us had taken up fighting positions in front of our High lord and his mate. I couldn't take my eyes of Briar, who stood slightly in front of all of us. Briar had frozen when the king had walked down, I could feel the terror rolling off her. I looked at her worried, she never really told us how she got captured, or even what kind of fae she was. The mysteries surrounding her were compelling but seeing her here now I realised the mistake we made. I had seen her terror, felt it even when we spoke about the layout of this place. I had questioned her on her powers, and how she got captured in the first place. Just like Feyre and Amren had done on several occasions in the past. But all she answered was that she would tell us if we got out alive. Or rather is she got out alive.

The same fear returning with every minute we were here, exponentially so now that the king had returned. Before I could register it coming, guards winnowed in at Briar's sides, and sharp pain hit my chest. Mors' scream shook me out of my shock, an ash bolt had buried itself into my chest. Jurian had fired it at me while I was so focussed on my mate. I hung limply between Rhysand and Cassian, the ash bolt sticking all the way through me. The king had claimed it was coated in bloodbane, making us follow behind him slowly. The guards had already taken Briar away, to the mother knows where. I spotted her the moment we were led into the throne room, even without my shadows I saw her. I couldn't do anything as some male was cutting her up, removing her clothing. She didn't make a sound or even move a muscle. ''Now that I have upheld my end of the bargain'' the king said, ''I expect you to hold up yours''. Rhysand went rigid, and Cassian snarled, I tried to lift my head to see what was happening but I couldn't. The poison in my system and the bolt in my chest were draining me, I couldn't even hold Briar's gaze.

''No'' Feyre breathed, the scents of Tamlin and Lucien hit me. ''No'' she said again. ''What was the price'' Rhysand said. ''You have my word'' Tamlin said. Feyre stepped a bit forward, ''What have you done'' she breathed. ''We made a bargain, I give you over, and he agrees to let my forces into Prythian through his territory. And then using it as a base as we remove that ridiculous wall'' The king said almost triumphant. ''Your insane'' Cassian hissed, still holding me up. ''Feyre'' Tamlin commanded her. But she didn't move from her position.

''You'' The king said, ''Are a complicated female to get a hold of. Of course, we also agreed that you'll work for me once you've been returned home to your husband, but is it husband-to-be or husband? I can't remember''. ''Tamlin'' Lucien muttered, ''I'm taking you home'' Tamlin said. ''There's that other bit too. The other things I wanted'' the king continued, '' well, one thing Jurian wanted. Two birds in one stone, really. The high lord of the night court dead, and to see who his friends were. It drove him crazy that you never revealed it during those 50 years. So now you know Jurian, and you can do whatever you please with them.'' We all went taut, moving subtly to our weapons. ''The last thing I really wanted was to have my toy back. I think the night court had enjoyed her for long enough, don't you believe Arlon'' The king called to the corner. I growled at the sight when I finally got the energy to lock gazes with Briar again. The male had cut her up thoroughly but shallow, a torture technique to keep fae alive as long as possible, and now he was… he has his way with her. My blood was already pooling at my feet, one wrong move and the poison would reach my heart. But I wanted to, I had to save her, if not. I couldn't think about what Rhys would do if we had to leave her. Cassian pulled on me harder, making sure I wouldn't move towards her. Briar saw, her eyes pleading, not to make it stop but for me not to do anything. She wanted me to keep out of it, to make sure I survived. I wouldn't look away, I don't care how much energy it costs if this is the last time I am seeing her then I won't look away from her, my mate.

I barely noticed the fighting going on between Feyre and Tamlin, blinding rage went through my body. The look Jurian gave Mor while holding his sword made my anger visible on my face. ''I'll go with you'' Feyre said, ''if you let them go''. Tamlin said something to her before lunging to grab her. Feyre winnowed back to us out of his reach, and Tamlin stumbled into Rhysands fist who had let go of me for a moment. Mor quickly replaced Rhysand, whispering to calm down. ''I don't believe it, your bride has left you to find her mate. The mother sure has a twisted sense of humour. Tell me, girl, how did you unravel my spell'' The king asked. ''I'm sorry'' Feyre said sincerely. Tamlin didn't believe it and hissed at Rhysand ''You, what did you do to her''. Then soldiers started to file in, Mor, Cassian and I focussed on them. Scanning their armour, features and weapons, calculating what the best way would be for us to escape. I shot a look at Briar who mouthed, ''Leave me''. I shook, exhaustion and rage taking over, I couldn't feel her, our bond silenced by the spell.

''I'm not going with you'' Feyre spat at Tamlin, ''Even if I did, you're a spineless stupid fool for selling us out to him. Do you even know what he plans to do with the Cauldron''? ''Oh I am going to do many things with it'' The kind said, ''Starting now. As Feyre unleashed herself, I couldn't help but curse. I was feeling weaker by the minute. ''oh, look at that a child of all seven courts. ''The king said, ''So alike yet not-alike at the same time. What were you planning to do with the Cauldron and the book? Destroy it? Use the Cauldron? You could do so many things with them.'' Our silence said enough, as the king continued ''You will tell me soon enough''. ''I didn't make a bargain with you'' Feyre spat. ''You didn't, but your master did'' The king said. Our rage must have been palpable in the room, this old horrible way of thinking. Feyre threatened the king and Tamlin, but the king just looked slightly amused. As the doors opened and four queens walked in, the king said it would be in her best interest to behave. Feyre's sisters were bound, still in their nightgowns, being dragged by the guards.

Sweet Elain was sobbing, while Nesta had clearly put up a fight still struggling against the restraints. Even when she took us in when she saw what Briar was going through. ''You made a big mistake going after the book'' The king said, ''I was content to let it be, that was until your forces started snooping about. It was then that I thought, who better to be my liaison to the human realm than my newly reborn friend, Jurian. He had just finished the long recovery process and longed to see his former home. He was more than happy to make a visit—the brave and cunning Jurian who suffered so badly at the end of the war, now my ally.'' The rest was all a blur, my hearing and sight started to give out. Even as he commented on my attempts to infiltrate his and the mortal queen's courts, I couldn't do anything not even snarl back. ''I'm done with her'' Arlon said throwing Briar in the middle of the room. The Attor and his cronies jumped into her before any of us could pull her to us. ''Leave her'' The king said, no latter did the monster holding her throw her down a few meters before us. She was bleeding hard, cuts all over her body none of them profound. They were in the places where it would cause the most pain, or bleed the hardest without killing. I observed her mangled body, she hadn't made any sound during any of the torturous cuts the male-created nor his sexual assault. When I got to her neck I froze, a collar, they put a collar on her. She locked eyes with me, mouthing something, tears streaming down her face. ''Don't'' she mouthed, ''Live'' and "I know''. She kept doing it over and over again, even when her pool of blood mixed with mine.

''Show us. Demonstrate that it can be done, that it is safe'' The eldest queen said, shaking me from my mate. ''why do you think I had asked my dear friend Ianthe to see who Feyre would like to spend her eternity with. Oh, I asked them; first, they found it too much to betray two innocent women, but Ianthe had no problem with it. Consider it my wedding gift to you two.'' The king said. ''I think she was waiting until you got back to tell you'' he continued, ''But why do you think she thought I could break the bargain. Why she had so many musings about it.'' A shock went through the room, Ianthe, the high-priestess, had sold out Feyre's sisters. I fought against Mor and Cassian, who just held me tighter.

I had to get to Briar, she would be caught up in it as well, I needed to helpt Elain and Nesta. As the king rambled on further explaining Ianthe's part in it, and even the role Elain and Nesta would play. ''I suggest you brace yourself'' The king said. Cassian twisted his wings flaring, protecting Mor and me from further damage. Rhysand shielded Feyre with his. Cassian screamed in pain as his wings were shredded. Mine got hit by the aftermath but not nearly as bad as his. Mor didn't get hit as she is behind both of us. As the light subsided, I saw Briar standing, a formidable stone foundation lay in pieced before us. She dropped down, her back and legs shredded similar to Cassians wings. All of us were on the floor, even as Feyre hurled her knife at Tamlin. The soldiers cut of Feyre from Rhysand and Briar from me. Mor was on her knees next to Cassian, before she launched herself at the king. But before she could land a hit, she froze, and her knife clattered to the floor. ''What a powerful queen you are'' The king said, ''what a prize''. I snarled at him, at his disgusting view of females, '' don't touch her''. Mor was next to me in a heartbeat, fear in her eyes. But it was only when Feyre was grabbed, and Rhys tried to grab her that the king moved the poison closer to my heart. Making it harder to breathe as I cried out, the pain became too much. I was weakening by the minute, the poison doing its job no matter how much blood I lost it remained. I couldn't even find the strength to look at Briar, I didn't register any what was going on; it was all a painful blur. I only found the strength to look at Feyre after the king had released the poison. She pleaded us to take her home, even though Tamlin thought it was directed at him. She looked at each of us as if saying goodbye, asking us to take care of her sisters through Rhysand. I found Briar right before Mor and Rhysand winnowed us away, she was sobbing almost pleading for Rhysand to do what he promised, but it would take too much energy. She then starting mouthing to me ''go'' and ''I know'', the last thing I saw before we winnowed was ''I accept''.

a/n I hope you guys are still enjoying it all, I feel like i am losing the details now that i am following the books story line, so i will be going back once the entire storie is finished to edit etc. Also who has any guesses to what her powers really are/parentage, and how she got captured. I know of course, but I would love to see you guys' guesses to what I am planning.

The next couple of chapters will once again have torture/rape scenes, possibly flashbacks of her inprisonment etc. Also if you guys want more Azriel and Cassian POV.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30   
Again warning, mention of torture etc. This counts for several chapters   
Azriel’s POV  
As we slammed into the ground of the townhouse, Amren was next to us immediately. Her hands-on mine and Cassians wounds. She tried to heal us, but it was only enough to stench the bleeding a bit. ‘’Where is she’’ Amren demanded, ‘’Get the book out of here’’ Rhysand ordered. Their voices distant the darkness was closing in. I groaned out ‘’Bri’’ I needed my mate. Amren demanded again, “Where is she’’. As Mor winnowed into the room, her hands on my chest, the wound gaping, as Amren did the same to Cassians back. Both of us in pain, bleeding out more and more, even us Illyrians would only survive for so long. ‘’Where is she’’ Amren demanded, and finally, Rhys responded, but I didn’t hear the response. Darkness finally claimed me, the pain numbed down. I spent was felt like an eternity floating in the nothingness that came with it. ‘’Az come on wake up’’ someone said muffled by the fog of my mind. I was slowly regaining back control over my body, I squeezed my hand. ‘’Guys’’ the same voice called. I slowly woke up, hearing some people enter the room. The bed underneath me felt familiar, but it wasn’t mine, I think. ‘’What happened’’ I croaked out, before opening my eyes. Mor was directly next to me, a worried look on her face, Amren and Rhysand stood at the end of my bed. I tried to sit up, and Rhysand and Mor shot forward as I groaned out at the sharp pain in my chest. They helped me up so I could lean against the backboard of the bed. Mor reached over a glass of water, all of them looking glum staying silent. It then dawned on me, Cassian where was he.  
I looked around, ‘’wheres Cassian?’’. ‘’He’s over here’’ Amren said pointing to the sheet hung from a rail, before pulling it to the side. He was laying on his stomach, his wings bound by lots of bandages. I pulled my own wings in tighter at the sight of his, feeling the phantom pain from just losing a little part of a wing. The look of his wings flashed before my eyes, they had been shredded by … ‘’His wings will heal maybe even fully, Madja had to reconstruct most of them, but he was lucky’’ Mor said, ‘’It would have been so much worse if it weren’t for Bri. She used the last bit of magic she had to make the stone wall, not even the faebane was able to block it’’. I shot forward, eyes wide, Briar where was she I couldn’t feel her. I began to panic almost scrambling to leave, even when sharp pains took my breath away. ‘’Az, calm down’’ Mor said, trying to pull me back. Another realisation hit me, we had left her. What if Rhys shattered her mind. She’s gone. My mate is gone, she’s not here. I can’t feel her, she’s   
‘’’Briar isn’t dead’’ Rhys said his voice hollow. They have her alive, mind intact. The panic I was feeling did not get less; instead, the statement made it worse. ‘’They have her alive’’ I asked, almost losing my composure. She was back at the place which had haunted her, they had free reign to torture her, it's my fault. ‘’Don’t think that’’ Rhysand said, reading my thoughts. ‘’They are torturing her, she could be dead’’ I exploded, the rage that I had felt in those moments at the palace, and at the thoughts of them torturing her coming out. Cassian stirred at that. ‘’Hybern has my mate, I don’t feel her’’ I all but yelled, losing my composure allowing a single tear to roll down my cheek. They didn’t look all that shocked at the mating part, but my outburst was definitely something. ‘’You don’t think I don’t know how it feels, I left Feyre with them’’ Rhysand roared back, ‘’She begged me to take her sisters and flee, she sacrificed herself for us’’.  
‘’Feyre won’t be tortured on a daily. It’s horrible that she is back there but she will and can come back, you should know what Hybern is capable of. Bri’’ My voice broke I couldn’t finish the sentence. I felt horrible for saying the things I said, we had seen how Feyre was when she first got to us, but she is powerful she can handle it. Rhysand went still at that. ‘’I’m sorry’’ I croaked out. Mor jumped in between us before it got worse. ‘’Rhysand out, we already went over this I will explain’’ She said deadly calm. I couldn’t really think my mate was in their hands. ‘’Az’’ Mor asked shaking me from my thoughts. I looked at her a bit dazed, Cassian had also joined us sitting up. ‘’Is Bri really your mate’’ Cassian asked still a bit groggy from the medicine. I nodded ‘’ does she know’’ Mor asked carefully. Once again, I nodded, ‘’I don’t know how long she has known’’.  
‘’When did it click?’’ Mor asked. ‘’At the end of the attack on Velaris,’’ I said, voice hollow and raw. I thought back at the moment it had all made sense, the pull towards her, the feelings I had sensed coming from her. ‘’Bri knew’’ Mor said, ‘’she begged Rhysand to just go, to save you. She knew that if Rhys shattered her mind, we wouldn’t be able to escape. Our high lady and Briar both knew they both sacrificed themselves for us, for you guys their mates.’’ High lady, Feyre was a high lady. It confused me for a second before anger took hold once again.  
‘’ Don’t bother we have already given him crap for that one’’ Cassian said, referring to Rhysand. I shook my head, it was difficult to wrap my mind around it their sacrifice. ‘’Az, I promise you we will get her out’’ Cassian said, anger in his eyes. ‘’I can’t feel her anymore’’ I answered, the message clear, what if she was already dead. ‘’She’s still alive we have to believe that’’ Cassian said, ‘’I won’t leave her again, she has to be alive Bri has survived once before she will do it again’’. Cassian was determined, one look at him showed that perfectly. I shook my head, trying to ban the thoughts of what she must be going through. ‘’I will leave you guys to rest, and Az Bri wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She knew the consequences and still wanted you to survive, to live more than the consequences’’. With that, Mor walked out of the room after Rhysand and Amren. I still felt guilty the attack on Velaris, and our capture Hybern, but even more so about my words to Rhysand.

Briar’s POV  
I was relieved when they finally winnowed away, I could finally let go of the tether of consciousness. My entire body was in pain, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t had before, but after these months, it felt like the first time. I wanted to pass out so badly, to give in to the oblivion. I had used my last bit of magic to shield the Inner Circle, even with the collar on I had one final burst left before the faebane nullified it completely. My back was shredded, cuts were all along the rest of my body, no clothes remained, and I was bleeding between my legs. I vaguely heard Feyre try to demand Tamlin to take me with them, but he kept refusing. The king ordered them to take me away, at some point while I was being dragged away, I passed out.   
When I woke up, I was in the same torture chamber that I called home for 450 years. I emptied my stomach in the same spot, feeling the familiar weakness seep into my bones. I could barely move without sharp pain shooting through me. I had no idea how long I had been unconscious, I doubt it had been very long, a few days at most. Looking at my wounds, they weren’t healed, only scabbed over thanks to the faebane. The door banged open, two guards standing there in front of the king, he gave them the signal. No, please don’t I tried to get away knowing what was going to happen next. The guards pulled me up and locked me onto the chair. I locked myself into my mind again while the torturer began pulling out my nails and breaking my fingers. At some point, I passed out to once again wake up in that room. But this time my nails were intact, and only one finger was bent the wrong way. The walls weren’t as degraded, the pale stone more vibrant, not as dull as the first time I woke up.   
‘’Well look who finally woke up’’ a familiar voice drawled, a younger version of the torturer walked up. ‘’It’s been a few days since our last session, the king even let the healers take you’’ he said, walking up with a spiked bat, ‘’I can’t rough you up to badly, Arlon has you tonight. Maybe just the back, or’’. He was thinking out loud before motioning one of the guards to move me onto my stomach. The moment I was chained again, the male began beating my back, shredding it to ribbons at the same time. I wanted to scream, sob or anything but I kept quiet, I would not give them the satisfaction. I didn’t know how many slashed he made, but when he finally stopped, I was close to blacking out again. He let healers into the room to patch my back before I was whisked away to Arlon’s room.   
I don’t remember getting to the room, or at least not as clear as I should. When I woke up I couldn’t move, my back in ribbons. Cuts and bruises all over my body, my stomach growled. How long had it been since I ate last, the hollow feeling in it told me a week maybe more? Laughter hit my ears, cackling mad laughter as the door swung open. The twins stood there, they looked the same as they had always done since maturing. ‘’Lock her in Brother’’ Brennagh ordered Dagdan. My body went rigid, I was as stiff as a plank. Locked inside my own body, as they spun illusions in my mind. Spiders crawling over me, even into my ears and mouth. Poisonous snaked biting, anacondas squeezing and even mixing up the small illusions with real pain. I didn’t know where the illusions pain ended and where the actual pain began. They visited me every day, made me eat moulded bread while thinking it was the best I had ever tasted. These small illusions were only the beginning, as they started to make me drown on air, feel like I was falling down before splatting on the ground and freezing alive for days on end. Locking my mind and body in each scenarios, every time it was worse than the time before.   
I don’t know when they stopped, or when they started again. I had nothing to hold onto, other than hoping my captains, my friends survived. I emptied my stomach; was lying in a pool of it, blood, vomit and other fluids. I couldn’t move, I think an infection had set in. Another torturer walked into the room, another session. He ripped open my back, all the old scars. As well as, cutting through tendons, beating the right nerves. I couldn’t breathe properly, I barely ate, and only got a minimal amount of water. His sessions weren’t the worst, though. It was only when the twins showed up that I lost my grip on reality. They loved to lock me into false realities, memories of the past 500 years of torture.  
I didn’t know what time it as, whether I was in the past or the present. I was once again locked in some chair, in some bone-white room. I didn’t know the time or the place that I was until the door opened. Shadows exploded into the room, the towering figure of an Illyrian doomed on the threshold. Azriel walked up to me, truthteller in his hands.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31  
The same warning still applies as the last chapter.  
‘’Liar’’ He hissed slamming truthteller into my thigh. I wanted to scream to say anything to him. That whatever he thought I had done, it wasn’t right. He kept taking me apart, slicing at those painful spots. None of the cuts were deep enough to kill on their own, but together they would if not stopped in time. A scratch here, a slap there, Azriel only stopped to hiss in my ear. Calling me a liar, a traitor and even rejecting our bond. I couldn’t do anything or say anything, I had locked myself in my mind as I used to do after the first 300 years of torture. He cut out the scars where my marks used to be before turning to my face. Truthteller raised to strike, as I bolted up or tried to at least with a silent scream in my throat.  
My arms were bound above my head, I tugged on the restraints but couldn’t get lost. I was still strung up on a pole meant for lashings. ‘’Don’t you just love my niece and nephew?’’ The king called from his throne. I was in the throne room, I was to be the spectacle for the filled space. ‘’They can really do wonders with the mind, where did they take you this time. Or should I say when? You know, I heard from the Attor that you could scream so deliciously when you were with Amarantha.’’ He taunted me, nodding to someone in the shadows. ‘’Turn her around Dagdan, I don’t want to look at that face’’ The king ordered, the male came and turned me around ripping off the last shreds of my coverings. I heard someone approach as a familiar voice drawled ‘’Miss me’’. No, please no, Blake.  
The twins cackled somewhere in the crowd, they knew I had recognized the voice. He couldn’t be here, please tell me its an illusion. I was calling out NO in my head, my thoughts racing. How was Blake here, he should be far away from this horrible place? ‘’Get a move on’’ The king ordered getting bored shaking me from my thoughts before the first strike hit my back. With each lash, he told me I was a traitor to my people, that I had left them to be hunted down. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and something in my mind kept telling me to scream, to respond to his hisses. ‘’You left us to be slaughtered, you traitor’’ Blake almost screamed at me. I was full-on sobbing by that point, I had lost count of how many lashes he had dosed out.  
The pain overwhelming, my back had been shredded to ribbons several times before, the scars healed to cause the same amount of pain every time. When Blake finally stepped away, the king began taunting me. ‘’You know he’s right, we hunted down every last one of your tribes.’’ He circled the dais, prowling as if he was some predator and I the prey. ‘’This is the reality so know this to be accurate, Emmaline, your beloved captain, died at Brennagh’s hands. Each of my commanders killed one of your higher ranking soldiers each and every one of them hunted until the very last of them, your captains were brave until the end. Once we were finished with your soldiers, we chased every tribe, every troupe and every group the Unclaimed are all but extinct now, all because you left them.’’ No, it can’t be right I couldn’t make sense of the flurry of thoughts that followed as it dawned on me how little of us were still left. Sure, I had met with a few small groups, but I just thought they were scattered and maybe hiding, never this. ‘’Drag her out, I am tired of her’’ the king ordered, eyes gleaming with the pleasure he found in revealing this information to me.   
When I woke up, it felt as if I was back in my old camp standing in the middle of it all. People crowded all around me. My captains all grown up, my childhood friends, parents and even the Inner circle. All circling me, yelling at me that I was a traitor, a liar, that I had left them. They were gone because of me. Feyre was back in spring because of me, I should have known. I begged them to stop that I tried, I was captured I never left because I wanted to. I didn’t betray anyone, begging them to believe me. It wasn’t until Azriel stepped forward saying ‘’I don’t want to be your mate, I deserve so much better than you. I will prefer to be alone than with you, I reject the bond. You’re worthless’’. He kept going, repeating the words over and over again. Even as the darkness set in, they kept echoing through my head.   
The twins had realized that the illusions with Azriel had the most considerable impact, even as I tried to keep it hidden. They even stared to tag team Cassian and Azriel disguising the torturers in my mind, fusing the actual real pain with mental torture. ‘’You know we leave soon, uncle has us going to inspect the wall. We should leave her with something to remember us by, right brother’’ Brennagh said, as she and Dagdan circled me slowly. I had been chained to a chair, two of their favourite tortures had moved into the room as well. ‘’Who should we chose today, We already had the captains take turns yesterday.’’ Brannagh thought out loud before they communicated through their minds. As the tortures moved from the shadows, the silhouettes of Cassian and Azriel loomed over me. I had to keep reminding myself it wasn’t real, but what if it was. As Azriel made slow and calculated cuts, whereas Cassian made deliberate bruises all over my body, spelling out traitor, liar and whore. Whispering in my ear, that I was a traitor before his booming voice rumbled through the room, laughing at me. Even Azriel snickered, his cold, quiet demeanour making it even worse he agreed with Cassian rather than defending me, his mate. When I finally blacked out, I was sure to have a few broken bones, bruised ribs and words all over me. The twin's laughter never leaving my head, they ordered Azriel and Cassian to leave some ash in me as they left my cell.  
I once again woke up, was it all a dream—some illusion Amarantha had made Rhysand spin in my head again. Was it all some big joke, Velaris, the Inner Circle, the past months? Did anything happen really, Clare Beddor’s screams ripped through the throne room. I was strung up above the place. My blood for the recent slashes to my legs dripping down into the crowd. Currently, they were torturing Clare, burning her flesh, large long angry red welts adorned most of her skin. I was forced to watch, Amarantha had ordered Rhysand to hold my mind, not allowing me to look away, to see what would happen if I made any movement to rebel to break out. Not that I could escape anyway, with the wounds ever-present, or the weakness due to the lack of food. As Clare passed out, I was allowed to hang my head eyes closed, darkness soon claimed me as well.   
‘’Not so brave now huh, now that you know they are all gone because of you’’ The king taunted as he had me hauled out of the room. I was groggy still shaking off the darkness that came with all the physical and mental torture. Pain an always present constant, just like my hollow stomach. How long has it been since I was captured, when had I eaten last. He walked in front of us, ‘’You know Brannagh and Dagdan miss you, they left for the spring court yesterday. They asked me if you could be moved with them.’’ We walked through the halls to the familiar wing of the nobles, ‘’I might just send you to them tomorrow, I have tired of you’’ he said pointing to the door in front of us. The guards opened the door, hauling me into the noble's room. At the edge of the bed a wooden cross, they strapped me on spreading me like a seastar. ‘’She’s yours for tonight, do return her in one piece’’ The king drawled not really meaning it. A male somewhere in between a high fae and attor stepped out, exuding darkness and malice.  
Licking his lips at the sight of me, the armour I had worn that night long gone, even my underwear had been replaced by some Hybern made ones. He stood there stroking himself, before wasting no time to rip of the remaining fabric. He trusted in me in one fell sweep, locking myself in my mind was the only way to keep me from yelling out in pain. His hands touched all over, reopening scabbed over cuts and making more bruises as he kept trusting in. Whispering what he thought were turn-ons, all that he had wanted to do to me after seeing me up on the dais a few days ago. How much he had paid the king for a night with me. He sat a brutal pace, and once again, even after so many parallel sessions, I was left bleeding. It was the only lubricant, it kept me from further harm. I wanted to sob, make him stop but I couldn’t. He kept going until he had cum several times in me before he turned around the cross and fucking my mouth nearly choking me to death as I couldn’t breathe.  
When he was wholly spent, he left the cross upside down while he laid back on his bed, enjoying the view of my naked body. Blood rushed to my head, and I passed out soon after. My last thought being, Finally. I was whisked once again in a flurry of memories. I was being tortured under the mountain by Rhysand and his Illusions, though Brannagh and Dagdan’s illusions took the crown. The Inner Circle tortured me, just like my past torturers had done. The same things were whispered in my ear as those torturers once did. So many horrible memories, I couldn’t distinguish between reality and illusion. Or even what was an accurate memory and which ones were changed.   
The next time I woke up I was somewhere warmer, new almost, I didn’t see those bone-white walls or feel stones almost freezingly cold. ‘’Bri’’ Someone whispered, but I was too weak to move my head. I couldn’t even recognize the voice in the haze. ‘’Bri, please wink once if you can hear me’’ the voice pleaded. I tried to blink, and I heard a gasp of relief my sight still blurry and dark around the edges. ‘’You’re in spring, Bri, I promise I will get you out’’ the voice said as my head lolled to the side. I was in a stone cellar, two eyes behind a grate in an iron door. ‘’Please, hold on a bit longer’’ the voice pleaded as my eyes closed and darkness claimed me once again.


	32. Chapter 32 (not yet finished)

Chapter 32  
‘’Bri, are you awake’’ a voice whispered, shaking me from my haze. I had been stuck in de past again, I was under the mountain. I groaned in response, not having the energy to get open my eyes, or even give an actual answer. ‘’Please, Briar open your eyes’’ The voice pleaded, ‘’It’s the summer solstice, I came to warn you about the twins, they will be coming down here soon. The others are okay, Cassians wings are fine, Azriel is still alive.’’ Their names sparked a terror in me, and involuntarily I shrunk further into myself, groaning in pain. The bruises and scabbed over cuts pulling. Steps were heard in the distance, the twins. ‘’Shit Briar I need to go, I promise I will get you out, soon we will be going to inspect the wall, I will have the twins take you with us. I am getting you out I promise’’ the voice called. ‘’NO’’ I croaked out, ‘’Leave me’’. I heard the female gasp at what I was saying before she left quickly. I was left in the darkness for just a few minutes when the door swung open. ‘’Oh, look brother she’s awake, you know we are getting bored with these faeries, all so peace-loving no one to punish or torture’’ Brannagh said.

She took hold of my mind once again as Dagdan, and a guard pulled me up. Moving my arms and locking my wrists in strung up shackles. I couldn’t stand, so the moment they let me go, my legs gave out, and I was dangling in the room. White-hot pain raced up my back, Brannagh had begun her assault. She loved this, creating fake pain, it felt so real that I couldn’t distinguish with the fake burns she started and those afflicted by the hot rod in Dagdans hands. Dagdan made burn rings along my wrists, ankles and joints before he began swiping the rod along my back. The scabs opening up from the last whipping, no doubt burning in the scars. ‘’Traitor’’ Rhysands voice whispered in my mind, ‘’It’s your fault Velaris was attacked, not mine’’ Azriel hissed. ‘’I shouldn’t have pulled you off that field’’ Cassian’s hissed. It was all in my head, but they kept repeating the cruel comments, the things that I had believed and had started to heal from. The inner circle’s, and my captains, voices swirling through my head, yelling comment after comment at me. All the while, Dagdan took his time with the burns, making it as slow and torturous as he could. When he finally stepped back to admire his work, he had a satisfied smile on his face, one that another would only have after climaxing. He and Brannagh revelled in this torture, of course, they were both daemati but combining the physical suffering with the mental was their favourite way. Something that they had perfected over the past couple hundred years. Each stroke of a knife, or another weapon in tune with a whisper or flash of memory or pain.

‘’Jurian get her down, and give her some food, it’s been a week or something’’ Dagdan ordered whipping his hands. ‘’Oh, and just so you know we will be taking you with us in a few days to the wall. But don’t get any ideas, Ianthe, Tamlin and Lucien are coming with us plus a few centries and Feyre of course’’ Brannagh drawled. Knowing it would spark a hope, probably guessing that Feyre felt at least sorry for me. The twins and their guards walked out, leaving me with the reborn Jurian. I jerked back as he went to free my hands. ‘’I won’t do anything’’ he hissed, my energy started to leave me once again. I fought against it, barely keeping awake as he laid me down on the frayed mattress that Feyre had made Tamlin bring in or so Jurian told me. He didn’t have any magic but Alis some kind lesser fae had given him some potions and poultices which he applied, before feeding me broth and some stale bread. The faebane collar still inhibiting my fae blood from healing me. ‘’Why’’ I forced out.’’You saved me once during the War and my people more times than I could count’’ he responded. I felt like it wasn't the entire truth, but before I could, I had passed out again.

‘’Well look at that, you brought a gift’’ the oh so familiar voice drawled. ‘’Of course milady, I thought she could be part of the nightly entertainment’’ the low voice claimed. ‘’Well don’t just stand there Rhysand get her up’’ the female voice commanded. I had kept my eyes shut, my body relaxed as much as possible, acting as if I was asleep. Footsteps approached me, slow as if giving me an out. ‘I know you're awake’ a male voice sounded through my head, I did all I could not to flinch and keep still. When a hand fell down on my shoulder I jumped away, opening my eyes which met violet eyes of the male shaking me. ‘please play along’ the male voice sounded again as he began pulling me up. I didn’t fight back, I played as if I was drowsy and weak, not that the vulnerable part wasn’t real but just a tad bit more. I was in some kind of cell, the earth was all I could smell, no airflow no natural light. The walls began to close in on me, I was underground never to see the light again. ‘Yes, this is underground you’re Under the Mountain’ the voice sounded. Another hand grabbed my other shoulder much more harsh than the high fae male on my right. ‘’Bring her up, I want to hear her’’ the female voice drawled. I looked up catching the tell-tale looks of Amarantha. ‘’No’’ I yelled in my head beginning to dig my heels in the ground.

I was in Prythian, she would torture me even more than the past 400 years. The king won’t stop her sadism. I was panicking and hard. They dragged me through the hall until we came upon a throne room. A rope dangling from the centre of the hall, ‘’Tie her up’’ Amarantha commanded. ‘Don’t fight it’ the male voice sounded once again. They forced my arms up as the room began to fill with the fae, all courts of Prythian except the spring court were represented. My feet were locked in place with cuffs as the roped above pulled tight, stretching me to the point it began to hurt. Amarantha began to speak, ‘’Here before you is someone incredibly important during the last war, this is to show you that no matter what you do Hybern will win, I RULE YOU. One miss-step and this is what happens’’.

The Attor and two of its cronies were on me the minute she stopped talking, slashing at me with their talons taking away all of my rags, cutting up most of my skin. No cuts were deep, though they hurt a lot. I tried to keep any sound in, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of hearing me. ‘’Rhysand, I tire of her silence, make her scream’’ Amarantha commanded. Rhysand, the male is Rhysand, the violet eyes. I knew they where familiar. Black talons scraped along with my mental shields before ripping through them with force my securities hadn’t been outstanding since I got captured, but still, the force was not required. I screamed in pain. He forced the screams out, excruciating pain racing through me over and over again. ‘’Tell us Rhysand, who is she’’ Amarantha commanded, ‘’Tell these fine fae what legend is in their midst’’. Her voice is vague and muffled as the pain stopped. He didn’t let go of my mind, somewhat drowned out the problem from the cuts. ‘’General Asteria of the Unclaimed’’ The male's voice sounded this time out loud.

Gasps sounded through the hall, they had no idea. ‘Helion and Beron recognized you’ Rhysands voice said in my head. ‘Cas’ I sent to him, needing to know if my friend was alive. ‘He is safe, he isn’t here’ he said before speaking out loud, ‘’A Leading figure of the front lines, winning the battles for Rask, and the Black Sands territories. SLAYER of Generals.’’ Silent tears streamed down my face as Amarantha commanded him to put me in a loop of those brutal battles. He told me he was sorry, and it was the last thing I heard before the sounds of battle erupted around me.

When I woke up in the spring court, I didn’t know how much time had passed, but a sharp pain in my stomach told me enough. I tried to move my legs, but pain shot through me, a throbbing in my abdomen, my right ankles and a sharp headache followed. There was barely any light but looking down my body hurt me more than it did me well. There was dried blood all over my tighs, hand-shaped bruises covered my naked figure, and even haven broken the skin at places. ‘’Briar’’ A voice sounded, I moved my head to look at the sound. Familiar eyes peered into the cell. I shivered against the cold hard stones as I rolled up into a tight ball. Groaning in pain, my left leg was most definitely broken, and my ribs bruised.

‘’I’m so sorry, I tried to stop them, Dagdan beat and raped you were locked into your head. Please hold on, only one more day’’ she pleaded. I didn’t recognize the voice, she seemed to be my friend but, I am in a cell. ‘’Bri please it’s me’’ the voice pleaded again as I started to drift off again. More steps sounded ‘’Feyre, you shouldn’t be down here, it the twins or Tamlin find you here’’ a male voice said, and I whimpered. Would he come in as well and have his way. ‘’Lucien, I can’t leave her, she doesn’t recognize me’’ ‘’No Feyre, go now they are coming’’ the male said. The female tried to argue, but the male wouldn’t let her. ‘’Lucien, here to have some fun’’ Branagh's voice sounded.

‘’Well your brother made it sound like fun, so I thought I would take my turn while I could, you never know how long she will last’’ The male said, ‘’Also Tamlin asked for you two planning the trip for tomorrow’’. ‘’Brother let’s go then, let the fox have his pleasure, I doubt she can take more’’ Branagh taunted. The cell door opened as the twins walked away. A cloak soon covered my body, and the stones heated. ‘’Briar are you awake’’ the male asked, I groaned in response. ‘’Good, I will make sure they won’t come back today, tomorrow all us of are going to the wall, you included’’ He continued. ‘’Who’’ I croaked out. ‘’I am Lucien, emissary of spring, the female you spoke to was Feyre she’s a friend’’. I slowly began to warm again, ‘’is anything broken?’’ ‘’Leg’’ I responded. My throat was raw from the screaming I no doubt had done these past weeks, with barely any food or water. Warm magic ran up my leg, healing it slightly. ‘’I can’t do more without them realising I helped you, it is enough to get you through the next few days of travel. Now sleep’’ he said, ‘’I will keep them away until dawn’’. ‘’Thanks,’’ I whispered, to the male who looked to guilty.

The next time I woke up, I was being dragged outside, the sunlight setting my head ablaze with pain. At some point they had given me light and airy shift dress, to keep me covered but nowhere near modest. They tied my hands to one of the horses, making me walk behind Dagdan the entire day. My whole body hurt, my left leg most of all, having only partially healed. Every time I began to lag, Dagdan would pull harshly at the rope, my wrists burning from the ropes and my shoulders from the tugging. I don’t know how long we walked, but I was ready to collapse the moment we stopped for the night. The twins had other ideas, ordering me around to set up their tent. That night the tied me up far away from the fire, or even the guards, isolating me. No torture occurred as Tamlin, and his guards kept a close watch on the twins; they could not do this so out in the open in his court.

A/N next chapter will be quite short, only detailing the escape after that we will get to see Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand again but whose POV to chose


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33  
A/N Warning beating and Rape up ahead, read with caution. After this chapter, they will have escaped so you won’t miss much skipping this.   
‘’Wake up, whore’’ Branagh said pulling me out of my dream, I was still tied to a post. I had no energy, none at all, nor did I have any magic in my veins. ‘’Get her up brother’’ Branagh ordered Dagdan. ‘’Tamlin and Jurian are hunting, even dear Feyre sent away the sentries, so we can have our fun’’ Dagdan whispered in my ear. A violent shiver ran up my back as Dagdan dragged me away, into the tree range. I was too weak to struggle, not having any food in my system and the faebane poisoning me.   
They dragged me into a small clearing, where Dagdan pushed me to my knees before pulling my arms high above my head. ‘’What shall I do the first sister’’ Dagdan asked as Branagh infiltrated my mind. I tried to scream in pain as she makes old wounds resurface. As she drove me to relive the feeling of being impaled by a broadsword Dagdan rebroke my leg. This time a small scream left my lips, but Dagdan didn’t stop there. He had taken a cane with him, the top and bottom lines with iron and faebane. Using the rod, he began beating my back, causing deep bruises, maybe internal bleeding. He kept going while Branagh made it seem as if I was on fire, making me feel as if I was burning alive all over again. She was careful this time, only choosing memories from the war, not my captivity. At some point, he had drawn blood.  
Swipping his finger through the small streams along my back and thighs. Dagdan let out a loud moan tasting the blood, ‘’be quick about it brother, it seems Ianthe has gone after her price’’ Branagh said. I looked up at Dagdan, I could barely see him. My vision blurry from dehydration, faebane and pain. Dagdan gave me a wicked and feral grin, his hand already on his cock. He got off by hurting me, I knew that much. Dagdan had done it before, and I was naïve to think he wouldn’t again not out in the open woods. Of course, I was wrong as he forced himself down my throat, making me gag. I was unable to breathe with him all the way in. He kept up a punishing rythem of strong, long and slow strokes, making sure I had as little time as possible to breathe will getting him closer and closer to the edge. Tears streamed down my face, my lungs were screaming for air when he finally finished. Dagdan had ordered me to swallow all of it, and would not let me take a breath until I did. A single drop ran down my chin, and his somewhat peaceful face from the euphoria of the orgasm turned to rage. His hands found their way to my neck squeezing, only letting me get enough air into my lungs to keep alive. He thrust into me, rough and hard, his rhythm the opposite of the blowjob minutes before. This was quick, rough and most of all, painful. I knew he would draw blood this way. He kept one hand on my neck squeezing at all times, whereas the other made bruises all over my body. These bruises were distinguishable from those made by other means, as the hands were clear on the skin. This happened all the while Branagh was digging up memories, swirling them around my head.  
Pulling me deeper and deeper into the abyss, she kept stretching my mind. Making me stay in the here and now, but the moment she would let me go, I would go plunging into my darkest memories. ‘’Finish brother’’ Branagh said, ‘’It seems Ianthe has gotten herself in quite a tight space’’. As if on cue Dagdan did just that, pulling out of me and redoing his clothes and hair. They were speaking silently to each other before dagdan dragged me behind him to where Ianthe was. Both were grinning like they were mad. ‘’The word you’re looking for is Daemati’’ Branagh said to Lucien.  
‘’Just like us’’ Dagdan added shoving me to the ground where I remained in a fetal position. ‘’Going somewhere, Feyre?’’ Branagh asked as Dagdan began to move. ‘’I have places to be’’ Feyre answered her, her eyes flickering to me on the ground. ‘’But what is more important than helping us, you are after all sworn to the king’’ Branagh said, ‘’I am a free person’’ Feyre said. ‘’Are you really’’ Branagh taunted, ‘’Such careful plotting these past weeks, you didn’t seem to worry that we would be doing the exact same’’ Branagh said, letting a small scream escape from my throat. ‘’Take the spring court’’ Feyre said, ‘’it’s going to fall one way or another’’.  
Somewhere far away, Lucien growled at the comment. ‘’Oh we will be taking the court anyway, but there is the matter of you and you little friend’’ Branagh said, ‘’Isn’t that what she is, your friend. Oh haven’t you noticed the headaches or the weakening of certain bonds these past few weeks’’. Shit, they had given her Faebane, they had given it to all of them I realized. I began shaking terror as seeping into my bones, I was more scared now than I had been during these past few weeks. Dagdan snorted, ‘’I’d give her about then minutes before the apple sets in’’. ‘’We gave the priestess the powder first, crushed faebane, ground so subtle that you can’t see or even taste it in your food. She’d add a little bit at a time, just subtle enough to work while you wouldn’t notice lest it stifle all your powers at once’’ Branagh explained. ‘’We’ve been daemati for a thousand years, but we didn’t have to slip into her mind. It was such a valiant effort to try and shield them all from us.’’  
Dagdan taunted. It was then that Branagh let my mind spring back, and I tumbled down into my mind. ‘’Let’s see you unravel this’’ Branagh taunted. I was vaguely aware that a fight was going on, but Branagh had caused the voices of my captains to echo through my head. Yelling at me, that I left them, that I shouldn’t have stayed behind that night. If I hadn’t been captured, they would still be here, calling me a traitor, whore, liar and so much more. It was all my fault, at some point, the Inner Circle joined the taunting. I felt as if I was still falling, as I vaguely heard Lucien say ‘’I’m going with you, I’m going to take back my mate’’. Flinched away as someone picked me up, they were gentle or at least I thought they were after weeks of being dragged around to be tortured. I was vaguely aware that we were winnowing as I was slowly coming up on memory, the smoke of a battlefield veiling the exact one but, I knew. She put me back to the first time we met.   
‘’Bri, please wake up’’ Feyre pleaded in the background. ‘’Feyre it’s no use, Branagh said so herself’’ Lucien said. I groaned a sorry before I slipped away, vaguely hearing Feyre yell ‘’No, Bri’’. The memory was clear now, I stood on the burning sand of the Black Sands. 

A/N Okay, so how do you guys think Azriel and Cassian would react to knowing what has just happened these past few chapters. And I had another question, what do you guys think happened for her to get impaled or burned alive, and how her first encounter with Dagdan and Branagh went.


	34. chapter 34

Chapter 34  
Cassian’s POV  
I was sitting in one of the foyers of the House of the Wind. These past couple of weeks have been hard, on all of us, especially Rhys. After Hybern shredded my wings, and almost killed Azriel, we both got stuck here. Rhys ordered us to stay put, he even used his high lord voice when he found out I was trying to fly too early. ‘’Here’’ Azriel said, handing me a glass of brandy. If Rhys was making us stay put, then we could at least help ourselves to his best alcohol. Azriel sank in the chair in front of mine, staring into the fire. He’s been doing it quite a lot recently, his shadows swirling around him frantically. He was restless there was no doubt about it, he wasn’t the only one. With Mor having to go back and forth between the court of nightmares, Amren trying to translate the entire book and Rhys having taken over some of Azriel’s tasks. We both were restless, even with the light training we just couldn’t rest. ‘’Tell me about Briar during the war’’ Azriel said, his voice thick just thinking about her. ‘’Well, I already told you guys most of what we went through’’ I said thinking, ‘’She was terrific on the battlefield, but nothing like she was with her team or her troops in general. The way she is now isn’t what she was like back then. I don’t think she ever left the frontlines, she was right out terrifying sometimes’’. He looked at me, questions in his eyes before I continued. ‘’I had seen her fall like that twice before when she fell at the battle for Velaris. She sacrifices herself way too much, I don’t think I can count how many times she did that. One of the worst ones was right in the time that Rhys was captured before she disappeared.’’ I said, reminiscing on that battle. I could almost feel the blood and mud caked on my hands and armour.   
Flashback 6 years into the war  
Rhysand was captured, I had just gotten the lists from the front at Rask where he had been stationed. I was currently deep in thought while flying the front of the Black Sands, the general had called for help. We would arrive at noon or so when the battle would already be going one. I hope Bri was still okay, as we flew as quick as we could. When we finally got to the battlefield, it was already a slaughter. Barely any magic was used, it was clear that most had already depleted their magic reserves. We had our orders, and we attack right away. I don’t know how long we were fighting as I once again got lost in the killing calm. Slashing left and right, shooting power blasts and dodging attacks. I was shaken from it when a scream ripped through the area, a ripple of power went over the field. ‘’No, Briar don’t’’ Blake screamed, I recognized his voice immediately. My eyes searching for her, she always did this, the rage was building in me. First, Rhysand sacrificed himself as he always does, Briar is the exact same. I saw her running up to the new Black Sands general, A high lord, her left fist catching fire before she hit him. I felt an arrow hit my back. Shit, I lost focus. I began fighting back again, losing track of time one more.  
All I wanted to do was to fly down and assist Bri, before, of course killing her myself for once again being reckless. I couldn't lose her too, with Rhys capture, Mor being somewhere with the human queens, and Azriel was the mother only knows where. A drum sounded the same time lightning came down, they were retreating. The only people still on the battlefield were flying through the air, Briar, the Black sands general and his commanders. ‘’Cassian, Retreat, Now!’’ my own commander bellowed at me as I was still staying in a place near the battle between the four of them. ‘’I got him’’ Blake called out pulling my arm, ‘’come on you can stay with us’’. I tried to pull my arm from his grip, wanting to get closer. ‘’Cassian she commanded us to stay put, Emma and Jack are coordinating everything back at camp, I and the others are waiting till their fight is finished’’.  
I nodded, stopping my fighting, looking back at the battle now, where Briar was wielding her twin swords. One of the commanders laid near us, bleeding out. ‘’Get him to one of the tents, I want to interrogate him’’ blake said to one of his men. ‘’her magic is low’’ I said, concerned for my friend, ‘’she’s slowing down’’. Briar was breathing hard, with a long gash running down her leg. The general and his remaining commander were ganging up on her. I couldn’t look, not without running into the battle myself. She screamed in pain, as the general hit her again.  
I looked again seeing her on her knees a rapier through her arm. A gust of wind came over the field, knocking us over and blowing the two enemies away. As Briar ran to them beheading the commander. The General and her began to circle each other once again. Attacking and dodging, it went on and on, I couldn’t do a thing as he hit her again and again. Blake had put a hand on my shoulder, signalling that both of us were feeling the same. At some point, she got the upper hand again and slashed him down. The moment the general collapsed some men ran forward taking him into custody, Briar just stood there for a few minutes before swaying and collapsing herself. ‘’Bri’’ I shouted running ahead, feeling for a pulse. I picked her up I could barely feel a one. ‘’Cassian how is she’’ Blake asked. I shook my head, not being able to speak as her heart rate kept dropping. I took off running, not having the energy to fly with someone in my arms, She wasn’t openly bleeding out so there must be internal wounds.   
‘’That was one of the worst days of the war for me, even if those final months were harder. It felt as if I was losing another person I loved. It didn’t happen that day, but she did end up disappearing anyway’’ I finished. ‘’How did that happen?’’ Azriel asked. ‘’I just know that she got a letter of some other high ranking officer, probably a high lord or something, she was the one that got Jurian to lure Amarantha away. I just don’t know who she was sent to save, it could have been Rhysand, but who knows, there were several other high lords sons and important fae stuck in the enemy hands. Beron’s brother could have easily been her target. I remember when her team got back, Emma had to keep Blake from winnowing back he was really fighting her screaming incoherently’’ I said thinking back to my old friend's franctic actions that day. We were quiet after that, neither of us really wanting to think about what was going to come. The war 500 years ago was hard enough, and now we were going through it again.  
The door flew open, Mor ran in out of breath as if she had sprinted here all the way from the court of nightmares. A letter in her hand. ‘’They have been spotted’’ She shouted. Azriel and I sprung into action. ‘’Who, where’’ Azriel asked. ‘’Feyre, Vivian sent me a letter saying Beron’s sons are going after her, she said one was carrying another girl’’ Mor answered regaining her breath. ‘’We are going, Now’’ I said, both Azriel and I were in our leathers anyway. Azriel nodded, and we rushed outside, from where we launched into the air. Mor sent a message to Rhys in the mortal lands, while we winnowed to the border with the winter court where Mor would remain. Azriel and I rushed to our high ladies aid.


	35. Chapter 35 (not yet finished)

Chapter 35

Briars POV

I kept drifting in and out of consciousness, or so I thought. I was hanging from my wrists in the middle of one of the usual torture rooms the king loved. Screams were echoing off the walls, as I smelt blood and … a furnace maybe. ''Well let's see what to do with you today'' the torturer said, creeping up to me from the shadows. I didn't hear a door open or the unmistakable crack of winnowing into the room. No, a shadowsinger, how come Hybern has a Shadowsinger. No No No. This isn't right, my mind screamed at me. ''Look at me'' his cold voice demanded, his hands yanking on my chin roughly. His hands rough, as if heavily scarred. ''Look at me'' he demanded again. My eyes met his hazel eyes. I had to hold back a gasp, Azriel. ''Pathetic'' He said as he noticed my recoil from him, ''I know just what to do''. He took out truth-teller, I was shaking, closing my eyes in terror. ''No, eyes, Open'' Azriel demanded as he began to take my body apart. My shoulders popped out of their sockets due to the strain of hanging by them. He knew exactly where and how deep to cut, taking his time making me feel as much pain and fear as possible. When he finally stopped, he circled me, whispering and yelling at me. How worthless I was, how he didn't want to be my mate, how he was going to reject me. His voice was joined by the inner circle and my captains, all of them yelling at me.

''We have to wake her'' someone yelled, it sounded drowned out. ''Rhys, wake her up'' The same voice yelled before I lost consciousness.

Cassian's POV.

The moment we winnowed into the foyer of the town house, I put Feyre down. Taking up my position near the window crossing my arms. Lucien was still holding Briar protectively, I did not dare to make her afraid that I might break her. Azriel stayed next to Feyre as she explained to Lucien where he was. Amren commented on her wounds as she studied our High lady. My eyes once again locked onto Briar, she looked worse than that first time all those months ago. ''Indeed she is'' Rhys drawled from behind Feyre, all of us smiled as they had their reunion. As they collapsed onto their knees, Amren and mor shared a look, nodding to Az and me to go to the house of the wind. Az and I winnowed together, as mor, Lucien, Amren s and Bri in Lucien's arms did as well.

''Give her to me'' Azriel finally said, his cold rage barely suppressed as he stalked up to Lucien. Lucien walked back as Mor put a hand on Azriel's shoulder. "What did you do to her'' Azriel demanded.'' Nothing I swear'' Lucien said. ''Amren go get Madja'' Mor said, approaching Lucien. ''Lucien we need to take her, we need to know what is wrong, to heal her'' Mor said. Lucien nodded and as Mor took her from his arms. Almost tossing her in the air, she was so light. I stepped forward to take her to the room next door. Azriel just stood there frozen, as I slowly laid her down on the couch. Shit she is light, did they even feed her at all. The moment I went to stand by the window, Azriel knelt down next to her. Sitting so still as if he was a stone statue, his rage visible in only in his fists. ''Az'' I said, ''she's strong, she'll be fine''. Trying to convince him just as much as myself. It was then that Madja stormed in, making all of us leave the room. Az and I tried to argue, wanting to stay near her. It was then she started thrashing around, whimpering in pain. Some of the numerous wounds on her body opened up. "Bri'' Az choked out, his eyes widening at the sight of her. Before he could lunge at her, to let his protectiveness take over, I gripped his shoulders pulling him back. Mor shot forward from her place near Lucien, closing the door before Azriel could run in. ''Az'' Mor said almost commanding, ''you need to calm down''. His eyes were unfocussed and his shadows were going haywire, it took a lot from me to keep him away from the doors. ''Az'' Mor said again this time catching his attention. He sunk to the floor, his wings slumping. I have never seen him this broken, not even when we were kids at the camps. ''She's going to be okay Azriel'' Amren said before she walked away. ''What happened'' Azriel asked, his eyes on the floor, his shadows cloaking him. If he wasn't sitting in the middle of the hallway we would probably miss him. Mor and I looked at Lucien waiting for an explanation.

''She was kept in a dungeon back'' Lucien began and after a long silence said ''Home''. He sounded hesitant saying it, knowing that it would probably never be home to him again. ''Dagdan and Brannagh took her with them when they came to the spring court, I don't know what happened to her before'' he explained, ''as much as we tried to keep them occupied they still went to her, twice a day if they could''. Azriel was shaking a bit. ''Ahh'' a scream rang through the house, ''No, please don't''. Azriel jumped up calling at ''Briar''. He almost barged through the door right then and there. ''Az stop'' I said taking a hold of him once again. ''NO'' he bellowed, ''You don't know what she's going through what she went through''. His voice broke ever so slightly but both me and Mor caught it. We exchanged worried glances in all the years we have known him we have never seen him this distraught. Yes we have seen his rage after Eris but never this broken. ''And you do'' Lucien all but sneered, ''she called for you, all of you. Oh, of course you do you're the spymaster you must also do all the torturing'' Azriel lunged at him but at the same time Briar called out in pain again freezing him to his place. ''Mor'' I said. She nodded and went to Lucien pulling him away to one of the guest rooms in a separate wing to Feyre's sisters. I went to sit in the windowsill not leaving my brother in this time.

A/N I hope this has fixed some of the issues with the text, also I am going to try and update more often as we go into 2021, as much as work allows me to.


	36. Chapter 36 (very short)

Chapter 36

Briar's POV

I woke up freezing cold, the room I was in was dark I could not see anything. Only a few slivers of light streamed through the cracks in the stone. They were my only lifeline, the only way I knew I was awake, without them, I would certainly believe I was sleeping or maybe even dead. I couldn't move, my limbs felt numb and cold so cold. I was on the brink of hypothermia when Dagdan strode in with a cousin of his. No, please, I wanted to scream at them, but it wouldn't help. Instead, I whimpered trying to move my limbs to shrink away, maybe even disappear into the floor. The two of them tugged me up no regards for my broken arm nor my bruised ribs. I cried out in the pain which flared up. They once again tore off the rags, leaving them in shreds on the floor. ''Lets see if she really feels like you say she does'' The other male said gripping my waist. ''Wake her up'' A far away voice sounded. I barely registered the sound as the both of them removed their trousers before trusting into my two entrances without prep nor warning like they all do. I cried out in pain again and the two cruel fae just smirked clearly turned on by my pain. ''Rhys come on do it'' a different voice sounded this one more desperate. No no no I can't go to them, they don't want me, no. Please stop, someone make it all stop I pleaded in my head, too afraid to call out. I did that once and was punished so back i couldn't move for several weeks. The two males were getting rougher as they went along, hands made bruises all over, bite marks on my neck and breasts even a few scratches along my thighs. As they climaxed the fluids streamed down my legs and I shuddered at the feeling, as searing pain shot through my body. More than there should be with my current wounds. I collapsed against the wall once again, the pain and cold taking over, as I began sobbing. I was stuck in this dark room, and I was never coming out.

I don't know when I lost consciousness or when I woke up it all started to blend together. Screams sometimes echoed but i wasn't sure if they were mine or others from the past, other times I heard voices. The same voices kept echoing through sometimes wanting for me to wake up other times yelling at me calling me names or begging for me to save them.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer.   
> I do not own any of the fantastic characters written by Sarah J Maas, nor do I own any of her plot. I am simply in love with her writing and love to imagine a life in her worlds. I only own my original characters and hope to make the existing characters close to their actual selves. This story is indeed going to be about a Caucasian girl, but I hope you guys can imagine her as yourselves whenever I do give slight descriptions of her. I do not mean to offend anyone.   
> Also, this story will end up having some more explicit and mature scenes, as may be expected when reading a Maas based story (more NA than YA). I will put warnings at the beginning of the chapter and will try to keep those scenes to one chapter so that you won't have to miss certain things and recap them at the beginning of the next.


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